NOT ON STRIKE - But I Would Be

If I were employed as a Hollywood or news writer, a member of a union, I suppose I would be on strike like the rest of them. I don't look too bad in red, so I'd be able to afford the spiffy tee-shirt too. That's cool when you think about it: "I went on STRIKE and I got this lovely T-shirt too!" could be the slogan.

I like the ads for the Lions for Lambs promos, "Behind Every Big Story, Behind Every Closed Door... IS THE TRUTH." It should read "Behind EVERY Big Story, Behind Every Teeny Tiny Story, Behind Everything that anyone on stage actually says - is the WRITER". I wrote to my attorney today in response to her asking me to be patient about being on the Ellen Show, which I'm sure we will be soon - I can be patient. I can wait for the writers to get their salaries, their residuals, I can do that. I'm a writer! I do get what they're saying. The fact that Leno, Letterman, Conan, Colbert, any of the talk show hosts (even my I-Can't-Wait-To-Dance-With-Her Ellen) needs a writer or two before they open their mouths on stage. However, I've seen the commercials, Ellen can write some pretty funny stuff on her own!

I went on strike once, but it only lasted through my lunch hour. It was a teacher's strike, and just like the writers, it won't last very long. We alllllllwaaaaaysss get what we want. We're teachers! No one wants to trade us jobs. Same with the writers; no one wants to put their best pens forward. I would, but I'm not about to be a scab. I was called this morning, someone asked me to join the new union, and I thought about it since I'm not an actual member of the Writers Guild of America. Took me about 3 seconds....before I smiled and said "No Thanks". I believe in the strike. It won't be another 22 week strike like it was in 1988 - I bet within a week we see the writers wearing blue, green, yellow, pink, even a little periwinkle again. Out with the red - off with the t-shirts...some of them need to keep them on as long as possible, but we won't go there.

Wouldn't it be great to see the actors in CSI-NY having to come up with their own lines? Mac Taylor (forgive me Gary)knows a bit more about everything there is to know about everything - more so than his counterpart perhaps. I'd love to see Gary just look Melena in the eyes and say "I don't know, haven't got a damn clue about what that chemical does, what it's used for, where it comes from...Danny, what do you think?" That would be hilarious, but not as Mac-like as Mac Taylor, that boy knows the wing ratio of the African Swallow in flight (little Monty Python humour).

So....you want to make a mark in this world, say the right things, have the right image, look good and sound good on stage and in front of people? You can do what I do, WRITE IT YOURSELF....or you could give in and pay the people what they want. It's just money! Hey Hollywood, you're not making it without the writers, no way, not gonna happen....pay the money! Have your people call my people...we'll talk once this is over.