Thursday, May 24, 2012

Shocked But NOT Surprised

WOW...and I mean WOWWWWW...I really had NO idea that I had gained back every single pound and a few more. I do that when I'm stressed and I knew I was getting heavier but didn't realize HOW fast and HOW much I had gained. I'm not really a Yo-Yo type dieter. I stay pretty close to a good routine and I eat well, but I stopped exercising and boy oh boy has it shown. SO, no more excuses - - it's time to be extremely diligent, goal-oriented and factual with myself. All those things I lied to myself about must stop. NO MORE BREAD, no means no. I tell myself "Oh, a little won't hurt", but it does. I tell myself that the sugars I eat, the candy and the creamer I put in my coffee; that it will be fine. It's NOT fine. It's REFINED...NO MORE. I just saw myself on the front page of the Register, a paper out of Portage, Wisconsin. I'm an absolute fatty; and no I'm not going to apologize to myself or anyone else that I may be offending. I'm not insulting anyone, I'm owning up to my own body needs. This is just not acceptable. EVEN if the camera added only 10 pounds I am ROUND and I won't allow it. NOPE, I will not allow it. It's not good for my lifestyle, my health, my blood pressure, my anything. I am not going to let this continue. Good thing it's summer almost. From this day forward, until I am 30-40 pounds lighter, I'm walking EVERY SINGLE day for 3 miles in the morning with Laura and if she doesn't go with me I'm doing it myself. She will go with me, since she won't let me go by myself. WE ARE DOING THIS. Man, I can't believe what I saw...but I'm so very glad I did. I just gave 5 presentations for the staff at a FANTASTIC healthcare provider. I was the keynoter at a ski/golf resort near Portage, Wisconsin. I talked about being positive, taking it one day at a time and NOT allowing negative into our lives. I talked about being well balanced and healthy...things are so vivid when you see them in the mirror for what they are! I'm the one that needs to listen to myself and do what I ask of others, so HERE WE GO!! Walking is just part of it. I'm cutting out the refined sugars, only getting what comes in fruits, nuts, veggies, and whole grains. Creamer will have to be sugar free and starches just aren't invited to the party. Not now. I can't do it. I can't let them win. It's MY turn. MY TURN!! I won't set too many goals, but this one: 30 pounds as quickly as I can doing it safely and with EXERCISE....have I said WOW enough times? I just can't get over my oversight on this one. I just can't. I let life get so far ahead - - and it ran right over me. Rather than letting the photos depress me I've decided to embrace them and show them whose boss. ME, that's who. ME! I love me. I'd be my friend on Facebook. I'd take me out, I'd run around with me...so it's ME that needs to take better care of myself. Thanks camera lens...in the future I hope to let you show a little less.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

The Only Thing That Doesn't Change is Change

You can say what you want about life - but you can at least be assured that if you wait long enough something about your life will change. I've often said the only thing that doesn't change is change itself. I've also heard it put this way: "The only absolute is change". I agree. We go about making plans and then the facts fall into place and we have to adjust and make new plans. Somehow however, it always works out. It doesn't always work the way we want, or the way we expected, but there's just as much to learn from the new as there was from the old. I am of course talking about my current situation. I am still teaching. I will probably always teach in one form or another. I am also selling books online, and preparing to write another book. I've been working on a children's book, a novel, and God knows what else. I'm also probably always going to write. I'm speaking, giving direction to those who call me and ask me to give them direction or inspiration. I love it! I live for those moments. Why someone would believe I have it all together is beyond me, but I do come across as being rather collected in person. God knows the real me. There is something else I'm doing again; I'm selling insurance again. This time I'm selling for AFLAC (American Family Life Assurance Company of Columbus) You know them for their crazy duck commercials...I remember them from the 80's when I wanted to sell for them but my managers and those I knew in the business said they were a "fad" and wouldn't be around for very long. HA! They're not only around today, but AFLAC is a Fortune 500 company, one that has been written up in many Fortune type magazines for being the best loved and respected company and the most ethical. The ethics of any company will win me over every time. EVERY time. I recently filed a claim with State Farm, a great and honored company. However, because I had purchased the policy only days before my truck was broken into and my laptops stolen, State Farm has decided to make me wait more than 120 days to pay - and they put me through a deposition which wasn't scheduled in a timely manner, and I've been treated in my opinion, as the criminal. I'm really NOT happy with State Farm and of course I left. A company is ONLY as good as their claims department. So after years and years of carrying State Farm (renter's was a new policy) I have decided to change - and I did. Change can be good. Change can be VERY good. I'm looking forward to so many changes going on right now in my life, and in the lives of those around me, my kids. Reuben is now living in Indiana with us. He's joined the National Guard, and will be a National Guard Recruiter very soon. Changing his life from dullness and depression in Oklahoma to exciting and worthwhile surrounded by friends and family. Laura too, is joining the National Guard, where she will be a supply clerk but work at Starbucks most of the time. Reuben will be a drill sergeant on drill weekends and YES he's excited to be Laura's superior! Caity has changed the most. She's a mommy now, and though she's not working (get a job Caity) she is studying to sell insurance and will work with me once she gets her license and has the time to learn the field training. She's not the punk kid she was, and I wouldn't be surprised if she started thinking about removing her tattoos some day. Brandon...well, he's been evolving since we met him over two years ago. He's really matured, works extremely hard when he has a good job to go to, and he's the best daddy in the world to Copeland. COPELAND...that's our #1 change around here. He's our boy, our pride, our every reason to breathe. Cope turned a year old this past April and he's up and running, talking, giggling, and being the best boy ever. What's up for tomorrow? Who knows? God of course, but for me I just wait until it happens and pray it will be the right thing for us. I'm always on the watch of course, but when change comes I try to roll with it, and if it doesn't come - - well, that would be a change.