MESA (FOUR!!)

 Before you think I'm too ignorant, I do realize that people who yell out "fore" are not yelling "four". It's a golf thing...I know. I have finished Chapter Four of "Mesa" and I just thought I'd yell a little and let the world know. This book is taking a bit to write, and I'm not really even sure why that is.

    I think once I get into the meat of it I'll be OK, but right now I'm in the awkward setting up the details of the stories and I'm chomping at the bit a little to get to the nitty-gritty. I can't get to the nitty-gritty yet though, I have to set it up really nicely and well before the characters can take off on their own. It's a must. I don't mind, but it is tedious.

    I wrote out the chapters one by one and what I think will happen in each, but as usual I am adding a lot more to each chapter, and though my keyboard says I'm on Chapter Four, I'm only partially through Chapter Two of my would-be skeleton for the outline. Yep...this could end up being a 50 chapter book! LOL.

    Actually, I can't make the book any wider than the others because I have a whole consistency thing going and I want to keep it that way. Each book being the same size means I know what they will cost to be printed. I pay $6.42 per book when I order them. If I ever get really mega rich I can order 100 of each book and then sell them for $14.00 online and make a better profit than I do now. I only make $1.40 each as it stands. BUT....If I bought them at $6.42 and sold them online for $14.00 (plus $3 shipping) I could make so much more. I don't want to do the  math.

    I won't do any purchases on my own for international shipping as that would NOT be feasible. It literally costs about $18.00 to send a book overseas to friends in Scotland. I have taken to just giving them whatever it costs to order the book, so they get the book for free. I wish I could order them under my name and get the discount and then have them sent where I want, but that's not how it works either....dang it.

    OK, so in Chapter Four the boys are driving through the Texas panhandle and run across an amazing land owner and rancher who assists them in their independent missions as they scoot about in the Buick across what will eventually become a full-blown dust bowl in terms of what is in store for them as they traipse across the desert toward their oasis in the neverlands of Nevada's lower country.  They'll make it up to the Grand Canyon for sure, but not for a while to come. They'll meet up with mules, snakes, men of valor as well as hoodlums when they get there; it's a party.

    Today was fun. I hope I can do it again tomorrow, except tomorrow they'll be talking about so many other things as they make their way through Native American reservations, hunting grounds, seriously dry and arid pathways, and finally find their way to real trouble...you know they're ready!

PHOTO CREDIT:  Wikipedia.com

MESA (Chapter 3 is DONE!)

 Thankfully, I am feeling like writing again. I get into these ruts when writing is the furthest thing from my mind, and that's really not the best thing to happen since I'm an author. I just don't want to be forced or nudged into writing if the writing isn't coming from a genuine desire; that's simple, right?

    So, I decided to do the whole put-the-toe-into-the-water thing, and I chose to write one chapter and only one more chapter. Tomorrow will likely be the same, and if I can keep this up for a few days I'll be more apt to write over the weekend. This being Monday, I have a few more chapters to write before Saturday takes over my brain. I'll probably make it happen. I can at least say that's the plan!

    Writing is fun and it always has been for me. I don't ever want to "have" to write. I want to enjoy it, and let it happen organically...you know, off the tips of my fingers and from the folds of the fleshy tenant inside my skull. It's not easy being an author when what you do is avoid writing. I did make up for the lack of writing out chapters by coming up with words, lines, thoughts, and plots to be added into the book at some point.

    I write out ideas, I add things to these ideas, and I pull up the NOTES from the computer for the book I'm writing and add as much as I can. My notes may end up being as thick as my books if I don't watch what I'm doing. I like the thought of having a book of notes, but what good would it do if no one would be able to make heads or tails of it? I don't exactly write my notes in any sort of organized fashion - - nope. I really don't.

    Chapter Three is in the can as they say. It's about Ralph Ferguson and Nick taking off for the great western deserts in the new Buick that Nick purchased a book or two back. He likes the car, he pampers it and takes really good care of it, so when he has to part with it --- oops...foreshadowing..." the jury will disregard that last statement".  Well, let's just say the car is a thing of beauty and worth every pretty penny Posh paid for it. ( that's alliteration, right there!)

    Chapter Three offers the reader a little insight into Ralph's past as well as Nick's. Ralph is a "junior" but doesn't go by that name. We'll find out later why that is. The reader finds out that Ralph's mother passed when he was young, and she couldn't be there for him during the hard teenage years or when he decided to sign up for the Army to escape the pressures he was feeling at home in Chicago; Nick's choice to join was foregone. He knew when he turned eleven that he'd someday wear the uniform of a soldier. His father wasn't pleased with his decision, but his mother knew it was the decision he would make.

    Chapter Three is just that; the third chapter of the fourth book in the Nick Posh Thriller Series. I need to come up with some thrills now I guess. I have them actually; they're all waiting for their turn to leap out from my head and onto the computer. I'm so happy I plotted and planned the whole thing from start to finish. I can just see myself jumping the gun, pulling the cart before the horse, and ending up head-first over the rocky clay cliffs of the Grand Canyon. I can do my characters harm if I let my head have too much of the rein.

    Tomorrow will be Chapter Four's turn. The boys will likely make it through the Texas Panhandle on Route 66 and be in Clovis, New Mexico. They'll find themselves lapping up the luxuries of a smaller hotel that sits right outside the boundaries and the newly paved parking lot of one of the more grandiose hotels either of the men had ever been privileged to see. They may take a closer look just for grins and giggles. I'm pretty sure I can arrange that. For now, for tonight and most of tomorrow, however, they'll have to be happy talking to the gas station attendant about how he was able to meet up with none other than famously funny funny-man Jimmy Durante, who just happened to be hopping the Southwest for promotional purposes.

PHOTO CREDIT:  Lee Ann McLane Goetz

Living Quarters...and or Dimes.

 If you know me, you know that I am not very materialistic, and I don't have to live in a huge place to be happy. In fact, for the past, oh...487 years of my life, I've been living in what some would say a smaller space. Yes, it's true; I am a cave dog. I don't need or even want something large enough to have to worry about heating or cooling costs.

    I live in an apartment, the one I've been at for nearly a decade, not quite, but to be 100% honest, I'm OK with it. It's spacious, has good plumbing, and most of the neighbors are good. I've lived with them any number of times, as this is my 4th or 5th time to live in these apartments and really, it's true, once you show up you don't leave...well, you come back if you do.

    Laura and I have been roomies for far too long, and it's time for the big split. We've been planning the big split for years, but we think this summer may actually see it happen. We've had to put it off for this or that reason, but now it's really starting to appear that one of us will get a new apartment and the other of us will stay in this one.  Here's how that's going to work; it's really rather simple. If a downstairs unit becomes open I'll get it, and if an upstairs unit becomes available, she'll move. Viola! Done.

    I want to be downstairs because I'm tired of taking the stairs any number of times each day when I take the dog for her walk. There are about 17-18 stairs and I'm really not into climbing them 7-8 times a day, but I do. I hope I find a good unit downstairs, and if it happens to be a two bedroom unit, (which would be impossible) I'll be really happy. If it's a one-bedroom I'll be fine...I have decided to remain content. It's a good choice to choose.

    I went pretending today so I could make believe plans for whichever unit I do end up with. The great thing about being in a relatively inexpensive city, is that you can spend more on furnishings!! This is going to be one heck of a transformation for me, I can guarantee that!  I will start with not taking much of any of the things I have now, and streamlining. The first three or four weeks in my new place, or this place if Laura leaves, will be spent with the barest of bare essentials. I have to keep all the work equipment; there will still be the home office.

    I went to Living Spaces, Big Lots, Hobby Lobby, Target, At Home, and Home Depot today to find pieces and things I would like to buy to add to the space I will call home. Living Spaces was great for some good solid pieces, but they are expensive, and if I can find those types of things elsewhere I will use them as a guideline. When I was there I turned to see the parking lot and literally nearly every car was an SUV. Dang. 

    Big Lots has a good couch for $400 or so, that's probably going to happen. I can get a medium gel memory mattress for about $160 there as well, but the industrial pole-style bed I want will be from Wayfair or Amazon.  I'm going for a full size to make a bit more room in the room. I only sleep on 17" of my bed anyway - - dang dog.  I will spend the money on great bookshelves and ornate pieces that are both useful and nice. I will get two hope chests for storage and seating. I don't need much. It really will be just me and Ginger.

    I will throw out all the old tableware, cutlery, kettles, pots, etc, and start 100% over -- I bought a rolling pin today just because I could. I'll practice rolling pizza dough tomorrow after I go to Trader Joe's to get the dough - - totally forgot to do that today! I'm also making ginger snaps, because I can. But the things I found that I really want are things like plants (if the cat doesn't kill them) and those will be purchased at Home Depot. I may ask the landlord to remove the fridge so I can buy the one I want to buy. It's only $600 and I like the look of it better.

    I went to @Home and picked out artwork, baskets, dishes, cutlery, pillows, patio furniture, and nice side tables, and I found that they have good candles, but Michaels can't be beaten for that one. They have 3 for $10 and I love them all.  I'll end up going to Big Lots for things like the vacuum cleaner, brooms, cleaners, rugs, sheets, small appliances, and most of the bath needs. I love that store.

    Pretending is fun. I think if I thought about it, I could be moving in about 6 weeks if all goes well. If I do stay here they'll have to replace all the carpet, the countertops, the sink, and like I said, take out their refrigerator so I can add my own. This is going to be AWESOME...I know I can go to Hobby Lobby for artwork too, but I can say that @Home is good enough and again, I'm not an art snob. I will probably end up buying Caity some paints and a few canvases and having her paint me some things. Yep...and Mom.

Photo Credit: Me. (www.athome.com)

Shopping Online

 I have turned into one of those people who goes online and clicks through a few things before I order, and then I order and have it all delivered to me. My niece and I laugh at ourselves online because we often see the Amazon truck driver and think "Oh, I don't even remember what I ordered". It's so true. I did that today. It was too funny too because I had just thought about the thing I bought, thinking how crazy it was that I got it for as cheaply as I did.

    I go to Amazon and type in "clearance" and things pop up. I like going to Amazon because I get free delivery. I'm so spoiled to it. I really am. If I order something from somewhere else now, and it doesn't come with free delivery, I pout! I really do. I say to myself, "No, I'll just pick it up while I'm out and about, I'm not paying for delivery." That's so dumb of me, so first-world! People drive their cars, trucks, and lorries to bring me what I want, and here I am boo-hooing about paying for delivery! Dang!

    Anyway, so I went to Amazon, and I typed in "clearance". One of the first things I saw just blew me away - - I hadn't thought about them, I didn't need them, but yes, I bought them. I bought 100 Tootsie Pop suckers for $20.00 and they are wild berry flavors. All really cool cool cool flavors and only .20 cents per sucker! Woo Hoo! Yes, it's absolutely worth it, and I'm not going to apologize.   Lorna agrees with me. Lorna is my co-worker and friend, and she absolutely LOVES Tootsie Pops so she'll be ordering her own box I'm sure.

    I'm going to go to Amazon right now, and see what is on their clearance sale for the day because they have "flash" sales too. I'm going to be really picky, but if I see something under $10 that I simply can't live without, or something I can get and give as a good gift -- I'm doing it. Let's see what it will be. I'll put you on hold, go there, and come back. 

    OK, I'm back. I didn't get anything, but here are three things that I thought would be good purchases.  First, long sleeved shirts are really cheap right now, as the weather is turning warm. The ones I found were normally $12-19 and they were on sale for $4-5.00.  That's pretty good actually. Then, sheet sets were $12-14 which are typically $19-30 depending on where you go, and the count. These were microfiber.  I didn't buy them because when I move I'll be downsizing from a queen-sized bed to a full. I'm doing that to make room but also just because I only sleep on 17" of the bed, and the dog commands the other side...and more.

    The last thing I looked at and almost bought because it was on sale, was an electric kettle that has a glass middle and an luminous LED light to let you know when it's hot enough. Love that. It was $15 and I may buy it just to have it for when I move. My daughter will more than likely keep the old one. Every house needs an electric kettle! Americans need to realize that. Anyway, the thing is, I like buying online and I think I like shopping online more than I do buying. I'll shop and look, and I'll think...and I'll add something (or twenty) to my cart then go through it a day later and delete most of it.

    What a strange bunch we are! I'm not really all that worried about porch pirates where I live, and besides, another benefit of working from home is hearing the beep-beep of the Amazon truck backing up...this is my clue to go downstairs with open arms and smile. I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes you just find better things online than you do at the store. For me, it's another place where I can pretend! I pretend I'm already in my new place, and I decorate it. I spend LOTS of $$$$ in my mind, and then I delete them all - - saving myself $$$$$ in the process. LOL

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Travel -- It's All Perspective

 I can't say he's a "friend" of mine, but there's this particular guy who I follow musically, who happens to be traveling at the moment, and he's playing in a concert hall about 820 miles from where he kicks up his feet to watch the "telly".  He's from Edinburgh, Scotland, and he's playing somewhere in Sweden. I know the city, but that's not the point.  The point is, Sweden is about 700 miles or so (give or take) as the crow flies. If you're taking a plane, it's even less.

    It sounds so exotic, so romantic, so bougie to be able to say you go from one country to another to perform or to travel. It is cool, that's for dang sure, but when you think about it, traveling from state to state here in the United States, could be just as cool really - - especially when you count how many Scotlands you can fit in one Oklahoma.  Scotland is about half the size of the Sooner State. If you travel about 700-750 miles in any direction you'll cross at least two and sometimes three states unless you're going to Texas -- which is not nearly as far from us, but side to side it's massive.

    Most of my European (especially my Scottish) friends like to tell me just how many countries they've flown to, how many passport stamps they've collected. I have to giggle a little. I mean yeah, it's cool, I'd like to travel around that part of the world too, but how many of them can say they've visited 48 states? I know..I really should make a better effort to get out to both Alaska and Idaho!  IDAHO!! I can't believe I've never been there, but there's always the hope, right?  I may make it a point now that I can do more traveling again.

    Chicago is about 715 miles from Oklahoma City. I've been to Chicago maybe 15-20 times. New York? Yeah...another 15-20 times. Don't get me started on Dallas, Austin, Houston, or San Antonio. Los Angeles? Vegas? (don't ask) Oh wow, yeah, so I drove that twelve times that I know of, and flew in another 30-40. Florida? OK, that one is more sporadic. I've been to most of the bigger cities but haven't been through Tallahassee yet....don't know why. I've literally driven or flown into nearly every capital of every state, except Idaho and Alaska, and get this...I did it with a two-legged dog slung over my shoulders; try that in a small town! (I have)

    International traveling? Sure, I've done that too, but it's far less exciting than my Scottish/English friends who traipse all over The Continent. Most of them have been to anywhere from six to ten countries; that's pretty cool. I've been to England because I parked there and boarded another plane, and I've been to Scotland. That's it...wait, Mexico counts, right? Yeah, and I suppose now that I think about it, Canada counts too. I didn't realize I had even crossed into Canada when I did. We were in a limo (with the dog) and we couldn't get out of it since we didn't have her vet papers!! 

    I guess my point is traveling is good for you, it's fun, it's exciting, it's adventurous and it's entertaining. At least when I traveled the US I knew I could order dinner in the native tongue, and I'd pretty much understand most of the accents...there was this one bus ride in West Virginia when I thought I was in a completely different country, but I fuddled my way through.  I think we should get stamps in our interactive road passports to show which states we've been to, how many miles we've driven, how often we've flown and landed and woken up in a new city 1000 miles from where we were just the day before so we can shout "WOO HOO!! I'm traveling!!"  I guess we could do that.

    Faith (my dog) and I traveled over 300 times together by flight, and at least 3x that by car from one place to the other. That dog never tired of the travel -- me, when I hung it up I hung it up! I stopped going non-stop back in 2014 and now that it's been 10 years I think maybe I may do it again. I mean, I've traveled since then, flown overseas, and I've flown here and there, but we lived in the DFW and O'Hare airports at least 4-5 days of the week for quite some time.  We knew every employee I think - - at least they knew Faithy. 

    When my friend gets back from his singing gig he'll be happy to be home again; we were too. There's no place like home. It doesn't matter if it's the Capital City of Scotland or the Capital City of Oklahoma -- home is home. It's the place you breathe a little deeper, a little easier, and you don't have to feel "on" for everyone. You can be you...it may be time to do a bit more, I'll let you know.

Photo Credit:  ME.  (Faith and I spent time in Vegas)

MESA (First Two Chapters Written)

 Just as I thought it would go, I'm going to end up writing more than what I jotted down in the outline. Yesterday, I took a little over four hours and typed out the outline for the new book. I had taken several more hours beforehand writing down by hand what I thought would happen, but the typing of it just made more sense.

    I have the notes on the right while I type the manuscript on the left monitor.  I literally have chapters lined out and state what I think will happen in them. Then, when I do put my fingers to the keys I have a really cool road map to take and it just all depends on what happens inside my head I guess, as to whether or not I stay on the road or take a few detours. What do you think? The characters are literally driving on Route 66! There are a few detours.

    Before all the good stuff happens the characters will need to be set up to do whatever it is that they are going to do. Before Nick and Ralph can do their thing, they have to find out they're needed to do it. That's what the first two chapters are. First, Nick is requested by the guy who has been paying his paychecks recently, to go out into the greater southwest and track down a murderer - - if he's still alive.  When he accepts the challenge, Nick brings Ralph Ferguson into it, not only to have a companion to back him up but to get more time with his bestie!

    Ralph, for his part, is a newly appointed Sgt. up at Stateville prison in Chicago, but he sees the adventure as being still another feather in his cap for the future, and yeah, hanging with Nick always brings excitement. It's been that way since they were nearly blown up together in the war...the First World War. The book takes place in the summer of 1931.

    Today, I wrote about 3600 words, two chapters, and I'll try to make it my goal to write one chapter a night with two or three each weekend. It may take me about six or seven weeks to write the book, and that's fine. I'm not in any rush. I rather enjoy the challenges and the research that has been going along with it. I've already learned so much!! Did you know there were three partial solar eclipses in 1931, but not over America? We didn't see the total lunar eclipse either - Europe saw it.

    So, in the process of writing, I am studying, researching, and trying to find interesting tidbits for the readers as well as for myself.  I love how the characters decide to interact and make me do all the heavy lifting. I guess it's a fair trade-off. They do make me happy most of the time. I love how they are so endeared to me; to the point that I reach over and grab one of my own books to read about them. I'll have to keep it going so they continue to live in my mind and heart.

    The first two chapters are done. Tomorrow I'll gas up the Buick and head out from Oklahoma City to Clovis, New Mexico on Route 66. I'm pretty sure someone will have a great burger cooking for us, maybe some greasy diner with mismatched cups, plates, and cutlery, but I bet they have the best banana pudding this side of the Mississippi!

Photo Credit: The City of Albuquerque. 

I See You!! (and I Know You See Me)

 My kid, who is so much better at tech than I am, has set up my computer and/or settings on some of my social media platforms to run as an admin. He can tell me who has seen my sites and if they leave a comment with a name other than their own it can lead back to their ISP and he has "friends" in interesting places (think military) who can then run these ISPs and get information as to where they are, who they are, etc.  Think FBI, but he's not with law enforcement. It's the same sort of software probably, and only used for their use not my own but yeah, I get a nugget now and again.

    So, what I did was, ask him if he could run a few names and places to see if they match up with some of the "anonymous" visitors that I see were there, but I can't see who they were. He did and he told me. I wasn't surprised, either. Nope, I said to myself, "I knew it". I knew that a certain person was watching. I knew he was reading literally (nearly) every blog, and looking at nearly every Instagram and/or Facebook post, be it on the page or in the stories.  I knew it. I don't mind, I look at his too, and if he hadn't blocked one of my accounts, I would be watching on that one, but I watch on an alt...like the rest of the world. We all have alts...don't pretend you don't.

    What I think is hilarious is that he knows I am watching and reading up on him, and he knows I know he is doing the same thing so yeah, go ahead and unblock me buddy...be straight about it, and just watch...read...learn. You can even comment, I don't care. You can ask questions, you can tell me I'm wrong. You can be honest; that's the best part about having a friend. I am a friend, by the way, there aren't too many enemies out there praying daily for a person's wisdom, protection, blessing, and guidance. No, if I were not a friend I don't think I'd even give a rat's backside -- but I do.

    This blog is short, it's to the point, and if only 14 people read it I can have my son trace it to tell me who they are. I actually tell him to eliminate anyone's ISP from the United States because I know my "visitor" is smack dab in the middle of the ECC east of our favorite park in Edinburgh - - I have the address too; I won't post that. What I will say is,  now that you know, and now that you also know I've known for over a year that you've monitored me, just go ahead and admit you care. You can do it. Even if you tell yourself that  you're just reading to be sure I don't say something that could harm you; you know I won't. 

    If there is one thing I could tell you, and know you would listen to me, it would be that God has given you such great insight and talent; He knows your strengths and your desires. When you search Him, He knows you want to please Him. This is what I pray for. This is what I ask of Him when I lift you in my prayers. You don't have to accept me here on Earth, but you know, I bet you're one of the first people I see in Glory - - if for no other reason, God will allow it so I can see that precious and marvelous smile of yours. I will know then that you were held in the arms of our Savior - - it's enough to keep me in intercession for you. It's not an obsession, it's obedience. He asked me to do it, I do it.  You're welcome.

    Be blessed friend, and keep the faith - - I know you will. I see you, and I know you see me. There's a fun saying that I put in my last book, as a matter of fact. It goes like this..."I was looking back to see if you were looking back to see if I were looking back to see if you were looking back at me."

Photo Credit: Life,  Hope, and Truth.

    

"MESA" Underway.

 This evening I sat down and wrote out the first 15 chapters in an outline and that means I've written the ideas and skeleton for about 1/2 of the book.  It will likely be about 30-32 chapters and since I know I'll add more to the bones of this thing as I go along, I will say that yeah, it's 1/2 was planned. 

    Tomorrow, I'll do the same, and get the thing in shape to be able to say it's planned and ready to be written in genuine. I really haven't done this in the past. I wrote, then planned, chapter by chapter, and then wrote more, and planned more. This time I am putting the entire book in order and trying to make sense of it so that I can stay on track and maybe write faster than I would if I was trying to make it up as I went along.

    It just made sense to me to do it this way, so I did it this way. I'm cranking out the thoughts and putting them in some sort of order. Before I did that, I collected ideas from books, films, art, and internet searches. I wrote the notes in my handy-dandy "notes" file. I do that each time. I have a note file for each book, and I fill it with hundreds of bullet-point ideas that may make sense or they may not. I have quotes, thoughts, ideas, and even rough-edged maybes that could end up being a real idea. I'm all about getting the thought out of my head and onto the paper somehow, and that usually means through a note first.

    So far I'm happy about what I've written. I'm happy that I didn't just jump into the story. I lead up to it, and I flush out and flesh out the thoughts before they become conversations between the characters. There are a lot of things that these guys will experience, but they talk throughout the book as well and have conversations and communications with past characters from my other books. That's a string that passes through all of my books -- and will continue.

    I've got another 15-16 chapters to pen out in an outline tomorrow, then I'll start with Chapter One and write the first line. I have decided to dedicate the book to my daughter Laura, as this book has horses and the circus in it. She's into both. The next book, "Cask" will be decided by my daughter Caity, as it deals with more cunning and clever tricks and means of innuendo. The next book will be "Stollen" and as it is a family book or a book about family, it will be dedicated to my parents, my grandparents, my children, and my grandchildren. The book following "Stollen" is "Kingdom" and it will be dedicated to my son. It has a military blend and flavor, so that makes sense.

    I have a lot of writing to do, don't I? Well I think maybe I should get motivated and start the process!! Mesa is a wonderful book already, and I can already tell it will be fun to research and write. I'm already learning so much - - so very much; from all about moonshine to the way paint dries naturally on a canvas. Very interesting stuff, let me just say that. 

Laura and Kiss My Assets "Rocket"  2012.  Photo Credit: Me.

Mesa / Cask (The Planning Stages)

 I'm not exactly writing two books at the same time, but I am allowing one to bleed into the other. I shouldn't use the word "bleed" but it is a murder book series, right?  Nick Posh will find himself in the mesa...in the desert, chasing down the clowns and horses who (and that) lead him to other cases and casks. If you know anything about art you'll enjoy the "find" out in Vegas. It's an original Seurat painting; one no one even knew existed. The 31-year-old artist died in the late 1870s before either Nick or his friend Ralph Ferguson were born. Why the interest?

    Murder has a way of joining up with money. It usually follows that if you follow the money you'll find the killers. Well, in some cases art and the value of it can be just as sensually stimulating as cold hard cash -- and there is a certain "art" to printing your own cold hard cash. There's nothing funny about it; and yet, they they are, the two lawmen chasing down the forger and his printing press. 

    Those who dust off their feet in the desert can somehow find themselves sitting at the elite tables or visiting swank galleries where no one would know they had a day job..or in our muse's case, a night and weekend job. A cover-up on so many levels. One day you're dining and clinking fluted glasses with the upper crust, while the next you're entertaining them and their families right in plain sight, under their noses, and they know nothing of it. Such a circus!

    With "Mesa" coming before "Cask", it's not a giant leap to assume that one will carry over into the other, and then the next, which is "Stollen".  "Cask" will find our private eye seeking a clear and precise niche for himself; not only is he using his learned skills from his military days but also from the years he's spent working with and for others in order to break out completely on his own. He's not exactly hanging out a shingle, as he has no office to hang one outside of. The world is his board and the games he plays are usually for keeps.

    More art, more murder, more deception, and more sleuthing take place in "Cask" as our hero finds himself employed by his first private case; the finding and retrieving of a wayward bachelor son who has sprung the family coop too soon for the likings of his parents who hope to see their only son educated further in the craft he has long chosen. His absence from the family estate brings sorrow to his mother, and to his hopeful fiance. He must be returned at any cost.

    "Cask" will bring about the art form of the written word as well as the painted strokes of a genius talent; words color and stain any canvas as richly and as permanently as oils and pigmented hues. The two books will be written one right after the other. Right now I'm filling my notebooks with threads of commonality trying to pick what stories go into which book; who does what first, and how are they connected? 

    Stay tuned. It won't be long now. I'm getting the itch again, which means I'll likely make it happen sooner than I thought I would. I fool myself sometimes. 

Photo Credit: Pinterest (George Seurat's "Le Cirque" )

There are so Many Differences.

 I don't talk about my siblings much, I really don't. I was raised as the youngest child in a family with four children. I'm not saying I was the spoiled rotten baby, but yeah, I may have been the spoiled rotten baby. In hindsight, I can see that could have been a real possibility. It wasn't as if we had money growing up and I was spoiled in that sense; God knows we were dirt poor. But maybe I got away with more, or maybe I didn't get the evil eye as much as "they" did.

    I won't name my sisters but my brother's name is Michael. He won't mind me telling you a little about him. He's just such a strange and often over-the-top character; one that if I wrote him into one of my books folks would think I was stretching the boundaries, and that my creative license had just about reached its limits. He's not normal by any means, way, or form. He's out there. He's an open book -- even if you want him to close the cover! 

    Tonight I decided to call my only brother; he's one year and two months older than me.  He is one year and three months younger than our sister "L" and she is exactly one year and 25 days younger than our oldest sister "A".  You can see that Mom and Dad were quite busy, and we gave them as much love and trouble as you can possibly imagine. I called my brother to see how he was doing and he didn't need much goading to tell me exactly how he was; he could out-talk any woman I've ever met.

    When I say there are differences I'll start with the obvious ones. I went to college and earned a Ph.D. where my brother decided the 11th grade was just about all of the education he would ever need. He was a mechanic; worked with his hands and didn't need books or structure to get the money he needed to pay for his own place and to make a living. We are different in our politics but not to the extent that I could say he's a lunatic; he's just more fundamentally conservative than I am. He's not one to jump in his truck and join the party to protest, nothing like that, but he's stereotypical in some ways when you think of the rural-living sort of hillbilly who holes up in a lost cabin in the backwoods with his guns, his dogs, and extra canned goods. You know, the type to shoot out the "O" of a stop sign. I don't do that.

    We differ in our means of entertainment. He loves watching television; I can't stand it. He loves getting online and pretending to be someone he's not so he can get up and under the skin of someone who tries to scam men for money. He plays the game intensely and will keep it up for weeks before he pulls them out onto the virtual carpet to out the person for who and what they are. I am so not into drama of any kind. I just don't have time for it.

    He asked me how I would keep myself entertained if I didn't watch television. I told him I listen to my preacher once a day or almost every day, and I read books and I write books. I told him I create characters in my head and allow them to have full conversations so I can determine what they will do or say in the next book; this fascinated him. He wanted to know if that was normal...you know, to pretend you're talking to make-believe people in your head. Normal? Who knows. It's how I write. I create the characters and then let them go - - let them live.

    When I told him I wrote books he wanted to know if I ever thought about putting them in print. I paused...I literally stopped talking...I was that dumbfounded.  "Michael...I write books. I've written and published about thirteen so far. I mean, when I say I write books, I mean, there are books out there with my name on them. I'm the author. They are on Amazon, they are for sale."  He was quiet for a second, then said very solemnly..."Well, I mean, like a book book, one you can  hold?" I guess I know what I have to do now. I have to order a copy of each of my 13 books and send them to him - - except I don't know how he would feel about reading sex scenes written by his kid sister. That could be disturbing.

    We talked about his car, the one he had in high school. It was a 1970 Ford Torino.  I drove VW Beetle Bugs. He drove muscle cars. I went to Hollywood to write. He hung out in our town. I guess we just never thought about being close. None of my siblings are close to one another; it's sad really, but the truth.  We don't do "family" things; we stopped basically when my father passed. We just don't want to make the effort.  That's another thing that concerned me when I had kids, I raised them to be close. My three are still much much closer than I ever was with my own sisters or brother. That makes me smile.

    I guess I'm just saying it's OK to be odd, different, out of touch with family, or not interested in being a part of a family where you don't feel needed, wanted, loved, or united. I love my sisters and I love my brother, but we're not friends and if we weren't related I'd never even think of them. I say that, I will always think of my brother; he's crazy as a loon yes, but I do think of him and pray for him. He never asked for the trouble in his life, he was a "victim" of circumstance, never knowing when to walk away from toxic people who pulled at him constantly. I saw those types and either casually walked away, or ran like hell to put the distance between us.

    Funny, isn't it? We were both born to the same parents and lived in the same house for over two decades, but we just couldn't be more different in so many ways. At least, and I can say this about all of my mother's children, we all love Jesus, and we know how the story ends. (We didn't cheat and read the back of the Book - - it was purposely taught to us.) For that, I am very grateful. 

Reuben and Laura. Photo Credit: Me

Prayer Before I Work. (It Works)

I have to be honest and say that I really do love my new job. I wasn't sure at first, because I knew the pay was low and I would be expected to hit quotas and be on top of my game even through the training.  The good and bad news was that the training was literally only one week. I think we should have had more time; it would make much more sense to do that. We were given one week, and then "thrown in the mud to run in it" until such time we could learn to swim in the clear blue, I guess. 

    My job is not unusual, it's not really all that special. I am a recovery agent, and a subrogation specialist. I determine who is liable for damage and go after the damager for recovery of what it will take to indemnify our clients.  Sounds tough, and all that, but in reality, I'm literally just opening up a file, going through it, checking what I can, and making calls and sending emails to get to the person who pays the claims. Simple.

    The thing is, work is never simple. As employees we are expected to be "on" all the time. We are expected to pay close attention, and to not make mistakes or assumptions. It's not hard but it's certainly not perfect either. I need help and I know exactly where to get it. I pray.  I don't hold back from telling my employer(s) either (if they ask).  I pray about my day every day. I pray before I get started, and I thank God throughout the day when things work out and I can see His hand in the middle of whatever it is that's going on.

    I'll hear co-workers say how difficult their day was, or how they couldn't seem to get anyone on the phone to cooperate. I have an answer; in fact, I have THE answer. Pray about it. Pray that Jesus first blesses you with the wisdom to make those discerning decisions, and that He'll help you remain open, balanced, and fair about what it is that you're deciding. If someone is not responsible, I don't want to think or claim they are. If someone is responsible, I want to be compassionate, empathetic, and understanding. I do have to recover the funds, but I don't have to brow beat anyone.

    Most of the "damagers" I speak with claim they are not responsible, and they have lots of fingers to point in several directions. I listen, I even follow a lead now and again, but I'm not naive either; I can tell when someone is trying to get out of their duties to restore our clients' rightful claim. I stand firm, and I repeat my stand and my intention of recovering the money. I'm not a push over. But I'm not a tyrant either. 

    Prayer helps me be better so I can help someone else. Prayer reminds me that I am absolutely not in charge. I am not the end-all and what I say doesn't always go. I have a claim, it needs to be paid, and I find the damager. If the damager turns out to be someone other than the person I was told it was, and other than the person we've been pursuing, I am 100% open to discuss the matter. I also pray for wisdom, discernment, and and insight. He gives that to me.

    So, at work, I like to think of my little at home office as being an open door to Christ, so He can come in and sit next to me, and hold my hand while I write those emails. He listens to me when I make the calls to request that someone pay the claim. He watches me so I keep the right time, the right notes, the right details, and so I am giving my employer every minute of the hours of the day that I'm being paid for. Being an at-home employee, the temptation to take longer or extra breaks is there for most, but not for me. I time my breaks. I want to be as clear and honest as I can be so I know my prayers are answered.

    I know God doesn't "keep score" because if He did I would fall short every last time. I am so normal. I am so human. I am so typical. I hope to be a good example. I hope to be what He would be proud of. That's another reason I pray - - because I get a chance to both ask for forgiveness and to ask for blessings at the same time. To say "Jesus is my co-pilot" is so untrue - - He is the pilot, the Creator of the air, the Creator of the craft. He has graciously allowed me to sit with Him while He takes the wheel.

Photo Credit: Havenlight.com

 

MESA ...Plots and Planning.

 I've been working behind the scenes if you will. I know I haven't been motivated to write the book just yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about what I'm going to write. I am thinking about that.

    I sat down tonight to read another Perry Mason book and right in the middle of it I thought to myself, "Why not add a few of these lines to the book and twist them so I'm not actually plagiarising." I do that. I write and rewrite, but I won't take something that doesn't belong to me. In other words, since we know there's nothing new under the Sun, I can take an idea that Erle Stanley Gardner had and revamp it giving it a new look, and a new outcome. I just use other people's work as a springboard - - I don't swim in their pools of thought.

    I took out a new composition notebook and began taking notes about what I will have the characters say, and do, and how they will interact with one another. I decided to have Ferguson come down from Chicago to help Nick in the desert while he's chasing clowns and taming Mustangs. Ferguson's new passion for trading in the stock market will be helpful and even case-altering at one point.  Eoghan will understand the concepts in his own very unique way of thinking, and he'll come up with a means of mapping or tracing patterns in the various markets as they resemble music in his head. 

    There will be clowns, acrobats, crystal balls, fortune tellers, knife throwing, and even a sharpshooter act that places Nick in a rather precarious situation to be sure. There will be tigers, elephants, and bears...and yes, there will be murder. There is always a murder when Nick Posh is involved. His choice to leave Oklahoma City for this particular case will be the straw he'll need to break the proverbial camel's back when it comes to deciding whether or not to take a full-time desk job with the City of Oklahoma City. (What do you think he does?) :) 

    I've added every circus act you can think of and mixed them with a few side-show freak acts to make the thing that much more enjoyable. Laura traveled with a sideshow for a while and we got to know some of the motley crew who both performed for the side shows and some who brokered the show(s). It was fascinating from a logistics point of view.  I've always been fascinated by how things actually come together.

    Mesa is coming together - - I've written out a few notes tonight, and will do it again tomorrow. Maybe by the weekend, I'll feel like putting a chapter or five in the box. That could happen. I think this will be a good book -- fun and interesting.  I only wish I could be off work full time and make a real living as an author so I could just do that all day - - but alas, not at this time...maybe another day.

Photo Credit: Smithsonian Magazine

    

Author Issues (Some of Them are Not Fun)

 I'm really on the fence about how I feel about Ingram Spark as a publisher, but because they don't charge me to publish my books it's hard to argue all the little details. However, some of those little details are not all that small.

    The book "Bay Sorrel Ranch" has 358 pages and I set up the cover with that in mind. They, Ingram, ran the book and basically cut off the words I had written on the back cover. Of course, when they sent it to me for approval, it didn't look that way. It was only after I approved it, ordered it, and received it, that I noticed.  I complained, but they kept writing back to me saying it was approved. HELLO...it was approved, but the image I received in the approval did not match the actual cover!

    Because Ingram Spark doesn't charge, they also don't give good customer service; not really.  They email, and they send vague answers. You have to write to them several times to get someone who will actually work with you. I've found a way to somewhat "assert" myself, but I always feel like a bully when I do it. They really should just do their job and then we authors wouldn't have to strong-arm anyone. 

    I have to say things like, "You know, I've published 13 books with you now, Do you think you want to work with me on this issue or should I escalate this to your supervisor?" When I say that, someone usually comes through for me. The sad thing is, I have to say that. I shouldn't have to. They should DO THEIR JOB!!

    One of the issues I've had over and over again with Ingram Spark is that they accept my manuscript interior or exterior file and then they reject it saying there is corruption, but they don't tell me, and they won't tell me, what that corruption is. Thankfully, a man at Adobe told me that 100% of the time he has seen that, it is usually a font that hasn't been "embedded" or "flattened".  He explained that to me as well, and how I need to literally check a box before I save the file. Geez.

    Anyway, after I've done that, and send it back to Ingram Spark to publish, I've had them reject it again as if there was still corruption. What I do at that point is send the same damn file back to them but I change the name and date, and Viola! They accept it. That proves to me that there was NEVER corruption in the first place. It was just some worker over there in the Philippines who didn't want to go through the motions to do his or her job. Maybe it was too close to the time they went home; I don't know. But they LIED and they constantly lie, and I'm just about done with them.

    With "Bay Sorrel Ranch", they cut off my cover and I had to redo it.  Since they accepted it and told me it was the right size, I argued with them saying I would not pay the revision fee. They sent me a code to use so I didn't have to pay for it. That made me happy.  I sent the revision up today and hopefully in a couple of days it will be fine and I'll be able to put it back on the market.  It's not as if hundreds or thousands of copies were being sold, but the fact is if only ONE was sold to someone who paid $18 for a good book and that person had the same experience I did, they would think it was ME that cheated them. 

    Believe me, no one blames the publisher for something like that. They put the blame on the author! Why? I have no idea, but they will say my books were miscut, I didn't have the withal to find a better publisher, or whatever. It was literally a few pages too fat for the cover, but they didn't tell me that. The book cover generator I used said it was OK. I hope this one is. I don't like doing things over three or four times.

    I think in the future I'll make the book cover a good 10 pages bigger than the actual book and see if that works. I'd hate for it to be too big and be rejected...this is an art form, people. It really is. You have to have a subscription to something like CANVA and then use a generated book cover template from KDP or someone, and you have to superimpose it onto your Canva project and work through the prompts. 

    I am super excited that Canva, Adobe, and KDP as well as Ingram Spark exist. I can literally write my books, edit my books, create the interior formatting, and design the cover for next to nothing. I can upload them for free, and they pay me the same as Amazon or any other platform would pay me for a copy of a book. An author gets about $1.40 per $18.00 book. It's not glamorous. I'm excited about putting the books on EPUB or E-book platforms because I can charge $3.99 for the book and earn $2.80. That's the ticket.  That begins in June. Woot!

Meet Norman Macleod. (1975 Aria acoustic guitar made in Japan)

 Aria is the name of the main female character in the first novel I wrote.  Her name is Aria Campbell, and yes, she was named for the guitars that I prefer. I love Fender, Gibson, Aria, and then Yamaha. I wish I could say that I've been able to play them, but I can't. I don't know how, but I do play at it - - and sooner or later I'll get the hang of it. Eternity is a very long time, so I figure I can make something happen there if I can't make it happen here.

    There will be guitars in Heaven. We know this. I don't have to worry about it; hopefully, I'll be in a beginner's class as soon as I land on solid ground.  That's one of my hopes anyway. Edgar Cruz was supposed to teach me how to play in 1982, but he sort of dropped that ball -- something about being in love or something, I don't know. All I know is I still can't pick up a guitar and just play it. I pick them up and talk to them, play with them, and just pretend I'm doing what I should be doing.

    That being said, I have owned a few really cool guitars in my life. I had a really nice vintage Spanish guitar once, I named her Stella. She was stolen, and I have been very sad about that for over twenty years now.  I own a Yamaha; one I bought from a drummer who thought he'd learn to play guitar, and it never happened. "Wally", my Yamaha, is about 10 years old, and he hangs on my wall and reminds me that I need to do more than just think about learning, so I pull him off the wall and play about 3 times a week.

    Now, and only just today, I own an Aria!! I was too excited when I found it online through Facebook Marketplace. The ad said they wanted $75 but that the price was negotiable. Seriously? I wrote to them and said I was on my way. I asked if they wanted cash or Venmo. They said cash, and I said I'd be there within the hour. It was a 30-mile trek, but yes...worth it. They actually told me that they'd take $60 so I was even more excited.

    Driving down to Norman (which is why I call him "Norman") to pick him up, I decided to stop by OnQue and pick up a lottery ticket too; so if I win tonight you'll hear about that too I'm sure. (Or maybe you won't, I probably shouldn't tell anyone since it's $935M although, come on, the payout is ONLY $452M..LOL).  I pulled out the money from the ATM and I drove to the apartment where he was; maybe 10 minutes away from the pit stop.

    I talked to the owner, she was the girlfriend of the man who pulled Norman out of the trash bin where an apartment renter had put him. He may have been on the outside rather than the inside, as he's not damaged. He had a scuff on his face, but that was there a while back. The lady said her boyfriend is the maintenance guy at the complex, and people throw out good things all the time. He'll collect them, clean them, and sell them if he can.  He had no idea what the guitar was worth.

    The serial number on my guitar is in the 5000s. I'm not saying exactly what the number is, I don't need someone claiming it was stolen so they can sell it themselves.  Nope, Norman is mine!  I am not going to sell him, even though his serial number places him as being made in the year 1975. Even though he is in perfect shape, and has no injuries, he will remain with me.

    There is another person online with an Aria made in 1978 and they're asking $500 for it. Wow. I feel pretty good about my little investment. The scuff on his face tells me he's been around. He's been in a situation or two. Maybe he was played in bars and was used to defend his owner at some point? Who knows. He's an amazing instrument, and I'm about to have him professionally cleaned, restrung, and tuned. He'll come home and be played at least 3x a week.

    What I did notice is that though he is the same size as Wally, he's lighter. It's much easier to hold him, and I think his neck may be thinner, as my fingers seem to fit better. I may actually be able to learn on Norman!! This will make me a very happy girl indeed.

    Oh...so yeah, his name is Norman Macleod, and before you ask, I'll go ahead and admit it. His last name is Macleod because my favorite guitarist (sorry Edgar) is Steph Macleod, and he plays an Aria too. I do that, I name things after people and places and things I admire. Wally is Sir Wally Stirling. He was named for William Wallace and the city of Stirling.  I do that.

Photo Credit: Me.

MESA (On HOLD) Not Happening Right Now.

 I sort of knew this would happen. The only reason I could write all six novels in 2023 was that I wasn't working full-time. I am now working, so I can't get the energy, the creativity, or the time to sit down and write the books like I want to. It's just going to have to take a backseat. 

    What I am doing, and what I can do, is research the stuffings out of the book, so that when I do sit down to write it, I will have notes out the wahzoo about it and I can get it written rather quickly. I'm just not motivated after working all day, to sit down and write. I'm still working on myself right now, and trying to get a few things underway.

    I've been really ill the past few weeks with what was probably another bout of Covid, but I didn't want to give that any credence. I'm absolutely sure it was a bad allergy-induced cold, but with the lung thing attached, I have to say it was or is probably Covid and I'm not the least bit happy about it. I managed to get over the cold part, the sick part, in just about a week's time, but the coughing and stuff is still lingering. 

    On top of all that, I decided to over-extend myself, and take Ivermectin to assist with the lung thing, and it did work. I can certainly feel them clearing up but in the process the dang stuff set off a chain-reaction of killing off parasites in my body, which is what Ivermectin does in the first place. This drug is good, let me just say that. I am now, three days in, and have had some side effects that I would not wish on anyone.

    The Ivermectin takes hold of you on the third day like an all-inclusive progress. I know the parasites are leaving me because they're fighting tooth and nail to cling to life. My head hurt right on the top, but not really very painful, it's just that I couldn't stand up. I couldn't really open my eyes and I couldn't do anything about it for literally 15 hours. I was down! The good news is, after it was over and I slept all day and then all night after that, I woke up with 50% of myself and I was able to work. 

    I did have a good release and/or movement, and yes, I did look, and yes, there were quite a few parasites which have been "flushed" from me and down the toilet. I do feel better. I thought it was going to be easier I think, but it was not. I'm told that about 20% of the people who take it have these symptoms. It may or may not happen so don't think I'm telling you that it will happen to you if you take it.  MANY people take the paste/gel and are fine. Many others take the pill form and they are fine. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR before you attempt it.

    Anyway, that all being said, my body and my mind are just not in sync right now, so I'll read and I'll study, and I'll think. This gives me the freedom to come up with really good lines for my characters to use. I may even have one or the other of them take a dose of Ivermectin to cure them of something - - it may happen. I like to add my personal experiences in my novels. It helps me to deal with my life in an entirely differently way. Sharing is caring!!

    I hope you have a GREAT Resurrection weekend. This is the weekend I feel closest to Jesus because He did lay down His own life for mine - - if I were the only one to do it for, He would still have done it. That fact makes me so very grateful. I was laying in my bed with the worst head-spinning and I closed my eyes and remembered that it was on Thursday that they crucified my Lord. It was Thursday when I was an invalid myself. I can see the bright and beautiful promise of Sunday!

    I will get "Mesa" written. It will happen, just not today.

Photo Credit:  istock.com

I DId a Thing. (I took Ivermectin paste by mouth)

 For years we had horses and every 3 or 4 months or so we'd have to give them a really good dose of worming meds to get all the parasites they were storing in their intestines. Animals, like people, walk around all day and all night all year long with parasites. I know, that when I was about to give birth to my son, I was given an enema and let me say this - - I learned a great deal about what we humans have inside of us at any given time.

    So, when the world was fighting Covid and those of us who had horses were hearing about other people who had horses who were taking Ivermectin paste or gel right out of the tube, I have to be honest, I wasn't 100% sold that doing so would be the best solution. Part of me was thinking it was safe for animals, but not necessarily for humans, but no one I knew who had taken it had died. No one I knew who had taken it had been sick either!

    Well, I just got over what could have been another bout with Covid. It was like a cold in many ways, but had that nagging stupid lung thing to go with it. I was out for three months in 2020 with the lung thing. The cold part of it was over and done with the first week, but there I was hacking and barely able to breathe all through Winter.  This time, this year, actually just about an hour ago, I took a small dose of Ivermectin (the paste or gel type that you see in Tractor Supply).  I bought my tube online and it cost $7.49 I think.

    I took right at 1.5 cc as I weigh over 150 and not 200.  I called my veterinarian to be sure I was doing it correctly. I have to laugh when I say that; both my vets are fantastic. The father is my small animal vet, and his son is my large animal vet. Both were in the office and both conferred that an "animal" (as opposed to plant or mineral) could take 100cc of the stuff per 100 pounds of their body weight and be safe.  Good. I was right.

    The thing I was not right about was taking it with food. I don't even know why I didn't ask. I should have. After I took it with my dinner I decided to look it up, and yeah, I was supposed to take it on an empty stomach! OOPS!  It's been an hour and I'm still breathing, so we'll go with that.

    What am I hoping for? Oh, I have so many expectations!! I want to have every worm, parasite, virus, and thingamabob living inside my body to make its exit. I want to be 28-40 pounds lighter tomorrow but I don't think that's going to happen. I want to get rid of this cough and hack thing. I want to feel good, feel clean, feel energized, and be healthy. It has been 16 days and I'm still waking up with a bit of a head thing. I hate it. I mean, I'm much better than I was, but not good yet.

    Google and all the others want you to think that taking alternative meds are really bad for you. They not only discourage doctors and vets from sharing their information with you, they protest, sue, discredit and take licenses away in some cases. It's amazing how this one thing could have and probably does either cure or curb the effects of the nasty virus, but they don't want you to know about it because it doesn't fit their narrative. It doesn't make them money. It gives us control and they can't have that.

    Well, I did that. I took it. I have to wait to see if I feel like eating a bucket of oats and maybe some grass a little later on, but I think if that's the worst side effect I should be OK. I will tell you that for over 40 years I've loved McDonald's unsweetened tea because it does actually taste like hay...yes, it really really does, and I love it; with our without Ivermectin in my system. 

    I'll let you know if I die. (Well, Laura will let you know if I die)  According to the research I've done both online and asking my vet, about 78% of the parasites in me should be gone in 24 hours, and over 98% of them should be gone after 2 weeks.  You don't take more than one dose every 3 months. It's not something you over take or use often. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR before you do this!!

UPDATE: 24 hours later.  So nothing really to report. No side effects whatsoever, and though I've had two good poops I don't know if they were accompanied by or if they included the creepy crawlies that I don't want in my body. We'll see.

UPDATE: 48 hours later.  OK, so this morning I woke up with a migraine headache in the top center of my head. I don't know if it is related or not. We've had blistering winds and even a bout of snow on March 27, which caused a lot of pollen issues. It could have been from that. I was also a little constipated which hasn't really happened in years.  I've slept most of the day and feel better now, but I wanted to mention it JUST INCASE it was related. I can't say yes, and I can't say no.  Then again, I have been taking Ginko Biloba (recently) and just read that it can give you headaches if you take too much. So, there you go!

Pretending!! (I'm Thinking of my new Apartment)

 Unless and until my books take off, I'll not be moving to Scotland anytime soon. I mean, I may go again to visit, but I won't be able to move there on a permanent basis until such time that I can afford the visas, the travel, the space, the rents, the deposits, and all the rest. It is a sad thing, but not something I can't live without. I do know that if I moved to Scotland I would literally be giving up so much more space and more money than I need to. Some of these types of facts make me happy to know I'll be OK here in Oklahoma. (sigh)

    Scotland has 135 days of sunshine each year, while Oklahoma has 235 days. That's literally 3 months more of sunshine.  We have air conditioning, but the sad thing is, we need it. It's so much better in Scotland when it comes to heat. They hover between 30-75 degrees all year.  In Oklahoma, we get that in a day....often.  We hit -5 this winter and 113 last summer. I'm not a fan. 

    Anyway, so what I do, and what I often do, is fantasy and pretend I already have the new apartment. I go to Home Depot and Lowes to find things like paint, fixtures, carpets, and all that. I also go to @Home, Living Spaces, Big Lots, and other stores to find furniture, throws, pillows, candles, and any art I think I need. It's fun. I thoroughly enjoy every single minute of the prep time.

    My new apartment will most likely be a one bedroom one bathroom unit here where my daughter and I live now. We have a two bed with 1.5 baths now, and we pay $680.00 a month. That seems to send some folks into the sky when I tell them that, but it's true.  The new apartment is 750 sf, vs. the 1100 sf two bedroom.  It will rent for $640 since the complex has actually made some improvements and is raising the rent on us this year.

    I've lived here about eight years this time around. I've lived in this complex about five times in my life. It was the first place for my kids to have their own place to live; that's always cool. Actually, I say that, it's the first place for my daughters. My son did have his own place when I kicked him out at 16 3/4 and let him live directly across the street from his high school. I paid the rent, but he had to pay the utilities. He worked. It was good.

    The new place will have a large living where I'll put both the living room furniture and my office set up.  The room is about 20' x 16' or so.  There is a dining room, but I may not use it as such since it's just me. I may just use it for my boxing bag so I can have a good place to box, we'll have to see what happens.

    The kitchen is virtually the same size, and I'm hoping when I do move that the complex will go all out and give me new appliances and a new countertop. I will have to insist on it if they try to get away with it - - I've lived for 8 years with really old countertops and I'm not doing that again.  The carpet will be new, and if they don't do it, I'll rip it out myself and they can get over it. Again, I've put up with their nonsense too long.

    I'll have three full closets in the new unit, and will only need one for my clothes. The others will be for coats and storage. I have two 4-tier storage shelves that I'll put into one closet to store all that I need to in a very organized manner. My place (unlike my place now) will be so very very clean and so very very organized. My old place was too -- that's when I lived alone. That's when I had NO KIDS living with me. Did I say that out loud? I think I did.

    Instead of several bottles in the bathroom there will be only a few. It never ceases to amaze me  how two people can't choose to use the same shampoos, conditioners, body lotions, and all the rest. We don't need to make the place look crazy! I want it to be neat, tidy, arranged and pristine. It doesn't have to be perfect, but yeah, the baseboards should be free of cat hair. Can we at least agree on that?

    Though I have to take my own trash out, it will be taken out on time. My dishwasher will work, but then again, I've lived so long without one I'll likely do my own dishes since it will just be me. I won't have all the food and/or things out on the counter either. I will have them IN THE PANTRY...you know, WHERE THEY BELONG!!  There I go again, shouting. I'll try to keep it down.

    When I walk into my new place I will not be greeted by a big dog trying to knock me over. My dog is small, and she knows not to get under my feet. I will only have ONE CAT to clean up after, and yes, I do a really good job cleaning him out every day, not every third day.  There will be less clothes and shoes strung around. There will be quiet, peacefulness, tranquility, rather than a loud mouthed gamer who can't seem to realize she doesn't live alone. I love her, I do...but yeah, time to get out!!

    I've tried to make my escape about 11 times in the past 8 years, but this time I've put my foot down. If she loses her job or otherwise can't make it on her own, I'm simply going to throw money at her and shut my door! She is not moving back in with me. I'll move back in with her when I'm too old to move about by myself; then maybe I'll be too senile to know I'm in the monkey-cages at the zoo!!  I'd love to mask some of these a animal smells with candles but she gets pissy - - she can take musk from a dog, but not sandalwood!  GEEZ!

    No, it's so past time. It is so so very very past time. We have needed to be separated for years but timing was bad, then the pandemic, then more sickness, then we both lost our jobs, and it just went on and on for too long. It's TIME!!  Finally, it is time. We are hoping that in June (This is March) we can do that. That's the plan...and even though I'll be in the same complex so I can take her places (she doesn't have a car), I will not see much of her other than when we walk our dogs and cross paths at the laundry room.

    I walk, she walks, so we'll see each other then. If I do live across from her she won't see me because she'll pull all the curtains closed. I want them all open. She's a vampire! She lives in the dark and on the computer. She has finally learned to cook a few things so she's not going to be darkening my door too often to eat with me, but I bet she still does. I think she'll take it to go if I'm honest. She'll think it's good to save a buck or two and just rid me of my leftovers. 

    My new place will have really pretty paint. I may take off the 2" baseboard and replace it with 4" adhesive type baseboard. I'll line the door jambs as well and the top of the doors. I will have a "classic" look and buy only those things I really want to buy so that my place is both comfortable and cozy. I want it to shine and be a place I am proud of. I think it will be. I just have to get to the point where I can afford to move out, get what I need, and start fresh - - what do you want to bet she pulls the carpet out of this unit and turns the place into a cave with black out curtains? I'll give her 2 days before she does just exactly that.

    She'll have my room to put her computer in, and she'll have all the space she'll ever need. I hope she finds a place for all the clutter she has now. I know my mother would have pounded me if I lived this way in her house. I should be more assertive about it, but she's really really a good roommate. I love her, and she knows it. We are just two different people.

    I made a list of things I won't miss about this place. I do that too.  Here it is, but it's not complete.

• The door that is too thin and makes noise when you open it.
• The dishwasher not working.
• Bad carpet, bad tile, bad counters, bad appliances.
• The stairs!! I will be in a downstairs unit.
• Air ducts not working properly because I will call every day until they are working correctly. We don't here because her job won't allow interior noise and they have to come into the unit to fix it.
• cat hair everywhere.  (This is funny because he's my cat, but I keep him groomed most of the time, but he sheds and she's supposed to clean it up but she doesn't. I end up doing it.)
• Clothes and shoes thrown everywhere.
• Puppy pads. (Yes, her one-year old dog still goes on pads)
• Terrible furniture. We don't have good furniture because her dog and her cat destroy it. My cat is declawed. (don't judge me)
• Loud and obnoxious gaming from the other room!
• I won't need to wait to take a shower and that room will be spotlessly clean at all times.
• I will have a patio to use and actually USE!! This one has a balcony and we never go out on it; we could, but we just don't. I will use mine.
• Food will be put away. The fridge will be organized. I will not run out of something without KNOWING IT. (smile)
• Lastly, I won't miss the parking spot because I'll use the other one we have which will be closer to my unit if I'm on this side and if I'm on the other side of the complex I'll have a new parking space. The one we use now is next to the dumpster and the big truck has almost hit my car 100x!!

    Well, that's it. My new place will be pristine, pretty, and uniquely me. I'll paint the walls in muted greys with plum, azure, and green tones. The towels and dish clothes will all be new, the toaster will be new. I'm even leaving her the electric kettle and will get my own! It will be a glass one so I can see the water boiling. I may get one with LED lights! I'm just that cool.

Here's praying it can all happen...soon.

Photo Credit: Wayfair.com