Saturday, March 31, 2007

Girly-Girl Cop!

Oh, she's SOOO cool - my good friend N. (no names please) just entered the Oklahoma Highway Patrol Academy. Our newspaper did a little article about her today because she's the OLDEST female (41) to enter the academy - ever. Go N! Go N!

N., like me, is an English teacher - and, like me, she's an unemployed teacher. Oklahoma and education don't always see eye-to-eye. We've been unemployed, employed, partly employed, released, asked to leave, rehired, and yes - asked not to return (but that was me! N. hasn't upset as many administrators as I have.) Because she was an unemployed teacher - she decided to do something meaningful, useful, that could really make a difference - I don't think she even thought about the fact that (A) Most women don't become patrol officers (B) Most women over the age of 25 don't even apply to the academy and (C) Most women over the age of 30 don't pass if they do apply - and she passed! She passed! She's incredible. She beat over 40 men for the position on merit! Of course, being a runner, quietly determined at heart, and stubborn as her Greek ancients - she was bound to make it.

N. and I are both strong Scorpion women with passionate feelings, strong emotions and powerful control over words - Sometimes we have no-penis parties where we sit around the house in our very expensive (new)underwear, smoking fat cigars, drinking whiskey straight from the bottles, and telling as many lies as we can about men we've known, men we haven't met yet, men we want to meet, and men we couldn't possibly be romantically involved with for whatever reason(s). Of course, we invite other wild and passionate women to these parties - we only throw 2 a year or so, and we almost always fly the Jolly Roger; and although there aren't officially any men allowed on the premises - we always ask her husband E. to cook for us because he's the best chef in the state! (But we make him wear a little maid's outfit - and he has to dance for us when we shoot off our fake pistols!) You should see E. disco - no seriously, it's a beautiful thing. He looks like a longshoreman most of the time, even comes from Boston Harbor - but on these nights - lets just say we ban video cameras for a few good reasons.

Hats off to you N....skirts off to you E! Hahahaha...just as soon as you graduate girl, just as soon as you graduate - HOIST THE BONES MATEY - HOIST THE BONES. A merry life for me! (Photos of N. will appear after she graduates. We can't jynx it!)

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