You know, it's kinda funny actually, but I'm thinking that I'm just too excited right now, to write the book I have in my head. I know I need to. I wrote the first paragraph so that I could get the thinking kickstarted, but then - - life happened. It is what it is.
I'm about to move into a real house and out of my really cool apartment. If I had to say that in British terms it would be that I'm about to move into a detached bungalow from my really cool 1st floor flat. The ground floor is the first floor in the US but it's the zero floor in the UK. That little difference made for some pretty confusing discussions when I sat down with folks from over that way - - my idea of a "bungalow" is not a one-story house, but it is what it is in Scotland.
The word "detached" means that it isn't what we would call a duplex or a rowhouse here in the US. It's a single-story house; not necessarily a ranch-style house either - but it's nice. It's a stone house, which makes me happy. It's been around since the 1930s and has been really sturdy all these years. It was renovated about two years back; they tore it out completely and remodeled it from top to bottom! They even took out the fireplace but left the chimney on top of the roof. I noticed that the other day.
This morning I drove by it and saw three men on top of the roof! The complex is adding a new roof to the house; which of course means that even the roof will be really new! We're starting completely over and I love that fact. The flat, or the apartment has old fixtures, old flooring, old cabinets and countertops. The bathtub is old too. The only new features at all are the bathroom sinks; there are two, and my toilet (1/2 bath) is newer. It may be under ten years old.
Moving has me too excited. I'm dreaming good dreams. I'm thinking good thoughts...I'm putting ideas into my head about letting the dogs out the back door and not having to walk them on leads down the stairs six times a day - separately! I have two dogs and can't walk them at the same time. The little dog isn't trained. She pulled away once and that was enough to make the hard decision to literally climb those stairs twice as much as I was before! I don't like that. I won't miss that.
My thoughts keep me from writing. The book is very complex, and the narrative is rather depressing. I can't be happy and write the book how it should be written. I'm not saying the book is a downer - not by a long shot, but it isn't all rainbows and butterflies either -- not giddy. It's a book about real issues and real anxiety-ridden lives. I need to focus on the characters when I do sit down to ink it out. Being happy and in the mood to pack boxes would not do the work justice. I must wait.
After I move, after I set up and get the place in order, then I can write. It's not the plan I thought I would have but I'm OK with it. If I only write a couple or three books this year it will be alright - - nothing will suffer for it. I'll be focused and the book will benefit from that focus. I've never been too happy to write before. I don't need to be sad, don't think that. I just need to be able to focus and give my all to the project and that is just not where my head is. My head is interested in looking up new wallpaper, paint, flooring, rugs, furniture, bedding, fence repairs, and LED lights to go under the cabinets in the bathroom and kitchen!
It will happen. I'll write again. The book will be great. I promise. I just need to get all the jitters out of my system. I need to know I'm grounded and my head is where it needs to be. I really really really can't wait to move. We're talking just two or maybe three weeks -- so close!!
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