Men Pissing In My Bathroom Freak me OUT

I was so scared - you have to remember, I live alone and I'm not dating. I don't date. I don't have any reason to - so when I was standing in my kitchen this morning making coffee and heard the VERY distinct sound of a man with a full bladder pissing in my bathroom, lid up I hope, going and going and going - I freaked! I nearly threw the coffee pot to the ground and charged toward the back door. Naturally I had locked it with the bar last night; so there I fighting with that, and trying ever so desperately to save my life - - all the while I'm fumbling with the bar I'm still hearing the man relieving himself. This actually gave me a good feeling because, I validated in my mind, that if he's standing there pissing I have more time to get out - he really had to go! Maybe that's why he somehow broke into my little apartment/condo and found my toilet so useful.

I called for the dogs, I'm literally outside in my jammies this morning calling for my dogs to hurry outside - before he killed them too! That's when it hit me. They weren't barking. My dogs were NOT barking at this unknown man, at this free-spirited person who obviously drank 3 gallons of beer just before making it to my condo! Oh, then the thought came to me that it could be my son surprising me - it would be JUST LIKE him to take a 5 gallon water jug into the bathroom and pour it slowly through a funnel into my toilet to scare me to death...but the dogs would still have barked at him too..I know my dogs.

I came into the house after several unsure minutes. I found what I never expected to find - a large wet puddle in my foyer just under that never-before-unscrewed-door-flap-thing that is hinged to the ceiling. It was leaking, draining really - onto the carpet - naturally missing the tile, of course water was missing the ceramic tile and going through the carpet - I wouldn't have it any other way! So no, no one was standing in my bathroom. No man...no one. Just the AC leaking and freaking me out to the point that I had to go to Starbucks rather than use my coffee pot for fear of dropping it - my hands were shaking. I was thinking "OK, my gun is in the bedroom. I can't get to it without passing the man in the bathroom." Then I was thinking "No, my bullets are in the drawer and my daughter has my keys to that cabinet. I can't get to them, I can't get to anything. Why do I have a gun again? Oh yes to protect me should some MAN come into my house unannounced!"

Well, you can call me paranoid, I don't mind - I would rather be standing outside in my jammies screaming for my dogs to run for their lives than to be married to a man that drinks 3 gallons of beer in the morning and breaks into unsuspecting women's apartments at 7:20 in the morning and pisses in their - hallway. I called maintenance at 9:00 when they came in and told them - they laughed. "We know, we saw it on YouTube" was all Miguel had to say - he teases me like that. I'll be outside writing on my new book (I always have one going) and he'll say "Oh, you can stop. I took photos of your writings and sent them on YouTube, now four authors have that same idea."

I love this place!