This blog won't be that long. (hahaha) I wasn't impressed with the show the first week, but promised myself that I would "be there" for Ron and Tillman. Now, as it turns out, I'm being there for Bill and Star as well, seeing how my ex-agent (Hi Mike) now my Advisor Mike is Tillman's agent as well as Star's! I'm telling you, this guy is a no mutt! He's one of those big yellow dogs that lays out on the porch and over by the fire...he knows where the bread and butter are. You think they're just laying there with their eyes closed, tail flipping the flies off right - well, he's listening, he's smelling, he's thinking, he's ready to pounce! Just kidding, I love Mike.
This week on The Greatest American Dog I found myself actually standing up for Beth Joy, who I've been rather critical of personally. I've never really had that much in the way of understanding for people who get their animal's likeness tattooed on their bodies. It's just me, I know - I have 2 tattoos, but I'm just not going to put Faith's face on my leg. First of all, if I did people who know me would say "WHAT? Where's Rover? Where's Christmas!" Yeah...believe it or not, before there was Faith, there were two really, really, really super dogs in my life, and one lives with me right now right along with Faith. I'd look rather silly with 4 dogs' faces on my legs and arms...all mutts...every one of them...perfect pups in their own right. I was saying, I was very proud of Beth Joy for standing up to Wendy. I love Wendy..she's adorable, love her to death, but she overstepped her boundary and thank you Beth Joy! You did the right thing, you were told to take the dog to the new restaurant Bone Appetite...boring and very unoriginal name mind you, but CBS is not known for missing a cute little jab when they can. They're as bad as I am with puns, and I hate that about me, I really do. Thank you Beth Joy for saying it out loud and proud...and I could tell she was scared they were going to kick her off for it too, and Kenji's owner was hoping they would - wasn't she the worst? For those of you who didn't see her abusing her dog over and over (verbally and physically) I wondered why they didn't just ask her to leave during the filming - you know, take your young, foolish smiling self and get off the premises...oh, and leave the dog, you have no business owning one you can't control or one you have to mistreat to just so you can be on television a little longer.
I know, I am really being cynical, but I hate this show! I'd say I won't watch it again, but I have to until Tillman loses - but that's just it, I really hope he doesn't lose. I want to call Ron and ask "Hey Dude, do I really have to watch next week? Tell me, do you lose? I don't want to watch that crap another day." But I know the 2-inch contract he signed prohibits him from spilling it - he can't even hint, and if you know anything about Ron from what you see on TV...he's too cool to say anything. He's too good - I would have been more like Beth Joy "and..and..and..you want something else? Do ya? Do ya? Because I'm not finished here! No, I'm not, don't offer my dog food and expect her not to eat it. You act like I trained her or something! Damn, this wasn't suppose to be the Greatest Trained American Dog was it? You invited us to dinner! You didn't feed me! You didn't feed her! ANDDDDDD, no, I can't shake my dog's right paw you morons! She doesn't have a right paw. She doesn't have a left one either!" Probably a good thing Faith and I are just sitting on the couch with Matrix, my perfect perfect dog. I tell him he's perfect because I take Faith all over the world, and he only gets to chase the geese in the backyard.
OK, this week's challenge was a bit more interesting with the BIG HUGE exception of the hand-shaking expectation. Faith would have just stared at me....big puppy eyes maybe even apologizing for not having the arms to shake me with....poor dog. She would have maybe licked me; and that would have been enough. She has the sweetest heart. She would never have complained - - Hahahaa, you don't know my dog! She can't stop complaining when people don't wait on her hand and back paw. She whines like a baby, throws little fits, and even walks off...just walks off. I can see her in that little box and I'm leaning over saying "Yeah, this is stupid I know, but could you please sort of pretend to be a...a...dog?" Her response would have been "No, and I'm going home now, where's Mike?" (Look at her on the curb with Mike at the top of this blog. She CAN if she WANTS to jump off the curb, but why SHOULD she when she KNOWS Mike will carry her? Where's Mike? I'm soooo out of here....Mike! Mike!
Again, this was a repeat of last week's show - - Ron carries the show! Bill and Star didn't need to go through what they went through. If you want to really hear an opinionated rant I'll tell you - I'm not beyond thinking that this was a ratings issue. I said it last week, and I say it again - it's a really really good thing I said no, and I'll continue to say no if you're out to use my dogps pain for ratings. I suppose there has to be a first "accident"? Elvis nipping at Tillman - I get that, Elvis is a Jack Russell. But it's just too convenient that Bill was outside at 5:45 a.m. when she was hurt, and they got it on tape. They didn't, I'm sure they had to add to it, edit it, make it up, whatever. It just rankles me to think that they'd stage that after the fact for ratings!
So, that's me - drinking wine, eating cheese and olives screaming at Elana..shaking my head and saying to Matrix that CSI will be on soon, I promise, we just have to get through this again...and again...damn. Mike and I talked, and he asked me if I thought next week's audience would be lower than this weeks? God, I hope so. I hope I'm the last person watching and again, I'm only watching until the T-Ron loses. (torn, I know)
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