Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Your Hard-Earned Tax Dollars at Work!

Photo Credit: Someone other than me. It wasn't listed. Did you know that our government is into spending our money in ways that MIGHT not meet with every one of our expectations? Oh, you knew that? Well then, this won't surprise you at all.
My son, my beautiful, directionally-challenged U.S. Army soldier son Reuben called me to inform me that he had once again "stepped in it" and that meant that he and his battle buddies had to make restitution for his faux-paux...if I had, oh I don't know, a dime for every folly, flub, boo-boo, or oopsy that my baby boy created for me during the first 21 years of his life - there wouldn't be a need to write for a living - we'll say that. I love the kid - but really - a navigator in a multi-million dollar tank should be able to tell the difference between East and West at 6:45 p.m. ... the sun usually has something to do with it - wouldnt' you think? He wasn't driving the tank, he was navigating - and the top was open! The top was open! (Of course they were outside, someone asked me if they were performing the manuever outside when this happened today - yes, they drive tanks outside most of the time!)
My Baby Boy misguided his team - and the only excuse he gave when they came in dead last place was that he didn't know which direction the sun was going to be setting - TODAY! Do you or do you not feel safe knowing that MY SON will be protecting you? You'll feel a lot better when I tell you that he's an expert shooter, has the highest ranks in hand-to-hand, pistol, grenade (that makes me happy) and in DRIVING the tank - it's the navigation that tripped him up. You should also know that he can't be beat at NCAA Playstation gaming and has over 38 straight seasons of being the National Championship Head Coach and that includes his personal designing and redesigning of plays that haven't hit the gridiron yet because he's saving them for when he becomes a high school coach. He was on one of Oklahoma's BEST high school football teams, and he was the leader year after year - but THANK GOD no one ever asked him to take the ball to the East goal, or to the West goal - he just had the kill whoever had the ball in their hands! (Reggie White taught him that much. Reuben played ironman lineman.)
So, with the loss came a challenge - a well known, in-your-face challenge that allowed every other member of the unit at least a 30-40 minute headstart marching their way back to the bunker. The LOSERS had to find out scientifically - through hard work and concentration - exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Toosie Pop! My son lucked out and volunteered to be the counter rather than on the licking team. The answer - 4,233 unless you count Pvt. Simmons' attempt to bite through the last thinning layers - and - they were not allowed to just lick one side - had to be all the way around until the chocolate was exposed on all sides.
Now you know! Hooah!

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