Friday, December 7, 2007
FYI MOM - You're WRONG
You know how your kids always tell you how wrong you are, and you usually recoil and strike back with a very loud "But OF COURSE I'm wrong, I'm always wrong, I couldn't possibly be right about anything" ? You've been there - well, this time I had to concede (Mark it down, I'm not wrong very often) I was wrong. The picture you see above is not of a tank. I told people that my son drove tanks and well...I was wrong. My son is a PFC (E3) in the United States Army, and he drives Strykers. The vehicle above is a perfect example of what a beautifully maintained, washed, and ready-to-fight Stryker appears to be. My son's Stryker, I am told, is a bit more gritty, a little on the rough side, sort of like my boy. If my son drove a clean anything I would be amazed. I know, and I could bet my life on it, that when he pulls that Strker into the garage at Ft. Wainwright that he doesn't take the time to dig out all the candy wrappers, paper towels, empty crushed water bottles, and if you look really closely you'll find a pencil because he's like me, he has to be writing or drawing something if he's got a few minutes on his hands.
My son's job is to drive. He does not navigate. I don't know if you know this, or if you keep up with my blog, but my son is directionally challenged. He'll be a great Ranger soon, in fact he's qualified to do exactly that, but even OnStar couldn't help the boy if they didn't have visuals to put before him. He's THAT bad off. Driving isn't a problem. Turn the key, crank the motor, point the machine, and floor it. Always floor it. Who ever saw a tank (or Stryker) creeping up to something. I think the only reason they put my son in one of these things in the first place was because the Army knew I had paid over $1500 in speeding tickets for the boy just to get him to the point where he could sign in. If he had left the day after he left he would have been in the pokey for one of them. The city, being kind and considerate (and patriotic) pardoned him. 12 tickets in 2 years, all speeding. That was an easy fix for Uncle Sam....give him a Stryker. Let him play.
Well, seems the consultants on the CBS shows The Unit, NCIS, CSI-NY, CSI-Miami, and others have been asking the wrong people about Army and/or military rules, regs, and apparel. The entire time my son was home for his holiday I was forced to endure the laughing, the swearing, the finger pointing ridicule my son gave to the producers of these shows each and every time someone got it wrong on screen. You and I don't know these things, we aren't "Squared Away" enough to know these things, but if I recorded him screaming at the television once I have recorded him screaming at the television a dozen times. "You can't park that there! You can't even have an M1 out in public you freakin' moron!" (I added the freakin' he said something else) He was all over The Unit, a show I thought was pretty tight until my son pointed out how lame they are. Makes me wonder how I survived without him the first 24 years of my life.
Strykers are not tanks. You should know that. They don't have the big turret on top, and they have wheels. When I asked him why he was driving these vehicles instead of the M1A1 that he signed up to drive he giggled. Seems he constantly broke the rules in the simulator. The pedals in an M1A1 are smaller, and his foot didn't exactly fit. He had a problem pulling his foot up at times too, and the Stryker can actually out run the M1A1 - - in a you'll-never-actually-see-that-happen race. Military people can be so funny at times. They think we don't know. They think we can't see the twinkle in the eyes of a boy that knows the truth about who would win in such an event.
My baby boy just called me last night to say he was on 2 hour's notice to defend our country with his rolling friend. Together they will be shipped somewhere and they will be together for a while. You can pray for my son, I would appreciate that. I read a poem once about the Soldier's Night Before Christmas, and in a nutshell it said that he may not be home, but because he is not, your home is safe to celebrate our Lord's birth. Hooah Soldier! Hooah!