Saturday, December 8, 2007

Animals v. Humans

(Caity's timestamp is off, but she got great shots)

We just got back from the Zoo again. You have to understand the reasoning behind the multiple trips we take to our zoological park. I'd love to say its for educational purposes, but that would be a stretch. I go to work out. I can put in 4 miles in just under an hour and half, walking and smelling everything along the way. While I'm walking I take a gander at some of the big and smaller creatures that come out and I imagine what my life would be like if I were say -- the Flamingo. (Laura is the flamingo in our family. She's gangly, delicate to sight, but really tough inside. She trips herself a lot, and isn't quite the norm...flamingo). If I were a flamingo I would be the pinkest one. I love carrots. I'd be like this bright neon bird walking around and everyone would goose me for stealing all the beta carotene.

Moving on to the chicken hawk.....actually, it has another name, but I call it the chicken hawk. Caity is the chicken hawk in our family, though she could also be considered a red or silver fox. Crafty as hell, small, sleek, and deceptive - oh, but the chicken hawk will grab anything it wants, jump on it, beat the living crap out of it until whatever it is he/she's grabbed has died or it(chicken hawk) has been slaughtered....Caity. I think of the little gray wonder and I always tuck my fingers into a fist when I walk by its cage...just in case. Just in case.

Someone and I mean fast, needs to get inside the hippo cage and brush those back teeth with some sort of a hippo-tooth whitener...what will the tourists say? Our hippos are the little ones, if hippos come in large, medium, and smaller sizes. We had two full size animals at one time, I grew up with Norman and Mitilda, but even hippos have to go to Heaven, so now we have the little guys. Much more room for them to swim, and children think they're babies -- "Where's the mommy hippo?" That question usually sparks me to pull out my fists from my pockets and call the girls on my cell. I have them on speed dial - Caity first, of course.

I check up on the brats when I'm power walking, giving them a location so they know how far to run either from me or toward me. I carry the money, so if they get hungry I always have that to look forward to. I'll call Caity and the conversation goes like this: Ring-ring-ring "What?" "Brat, I'm at the buffalo" "That's nice I'm not" and she hangs up. Not to worry, I heard big chimpanzees in the background. I know exactly where she is, and the phone ringing probably interrupted her plan to jump the fence, climb the wall, and get close enough to really communicate with the beasts.

I always call Laura second so she can ask me where Caity is since Caity never answers Laura's call. Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring."Hi Mommy, I'm at the lion, oh, and they are all out, and the baby is just rolling over, he's so cute." "What took you so long to answer?" "Oh, did it? Sorry. Where's Caity" "Chimps", "Thanks, see ya." "Hey, don't you care where I am?" "Not really, I'll ask Caity when I see her, I'm sure you told her." She hangs up.

Eventually I get my 4 miles in, they get their thrills and chills from googling and gawking. Laura actually enjoys the animals, Caity becomes one, and I just want to avoid resembling the rhino or the elephant...I'm thinking a nice average gazelle would be great, maybe a lynx...we dream. Our turtle, one of our Galapagos Islanders, turns 100 this year. Can you imagine? Wow. Turtles get sexier with age don't you think?

1 comment:

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