If you're from the South you get it. If you're from anywhere else, you have to come here to get it, but Waffle House is the best restaurant, the most "American" restaurant there is. Fight me, if you think I'm wrong. I'm not wrong. You haven't experienced America if you've not been to a Waffle House (pick one, any one of them) at say 2 or 3 in the morning for a bit of food, and a whole lot of WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?
It's been a minute since I've been to one, but after watching a few videos of what's been going on at these places, inside these hallowed squares, I think I need to venture back to one of the yellow-roofed master chef experiences; it could be a calling. I'm not sure. It could be that I just can't believe all the things (crap) I'm missing by sleeping in my bed at night, and not hanging out with the Wafflers.
A few of the more recent videos I've seen involve the staff (they are all specially trained, by the way) either dancing, singing, and/or twerking while cooking, they are also deflecting chairs, throwing dough, spilling coffee that didn't taste as good as perhaps one customer thought it should; they are tearing it up! People go in now to video, to upload stories of what they see and witness on TikTok to see who can get a better Waffle House video. No kidding. It's really addicting to watch.
I know that in the 80's I used to go to the Waffle House after performing as a stand-up comedian. I would go in around 2:45-3:00 a.m., maybe get a big breakfast, maybe just some water with about 10 lemon slices, which could be considered 4 lemons. I'd be the one dancing, but the staff would always join in with me. We'd have fun then, and that was 40 years ago. Times have changed a bit, I don't remember there being any mean brawls, which are being reported now. I remember laughing, dancing, one-upping, and meeting people you have never seen before because they were on their way to Dallas or something.
Matthew Mitchell, the Southern comedian on YouTube just posted a really fun video about the staff at all Waffle Houses being trained in martial arts as well as culinary specialties. He's not wrong. He's like "We'll teach you to chop, cut, poke, punch, and then we'll teach you to cook too!" He's not wrong. Kid Rock has a history (2007) of being arrested at a Waffle House. More than a lot of folks have been killed at a Waffle House; it's just a magnet for such behavior, and probably (no doubt) because it's always open. I know that Denny's has a slogan of "Always Open" but Waffle House is right there. They don't close. They stay open during pandemics. They stay open during tornadoes. They stay open during hurricanes. It literally took FEMA to close them down in some instances. People were not happy about it either. (There are more YouTubes about that as well.)
People get engaged at Waffle House. People get married at their favorite Waffle House. People have funeral and wedding dinners at Waffle House. It's just a thing here in the South. I saw a worker leave her post as a cashier to help a kid do his homework once. I saw another worker go into the back kitchen area and bring out a bottle of ketchup that was about to be thrown away. She asked the patron if he wanted to get some of it using a knife or something. The entire restaurant was out of ketchup, the manager had sent a kid to get some more, but the worker was like, "Let me see what I can do". This is the South. This is what I'm talking about. We are...all...Waffle House. I'm going to put them in my next book. (Buy my books on Amazon. Jude Stringfellow.)
By the way, MY Waffle House is the "Airport" Waffle House on S. Meridian in OKC.
Photo Credit: Sander Baker OKC
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