Acquiring Children

     It happens now and then; I'll be minding my own business, because that is what I always do, and my life is turned upside down, sideways in less than a second's time. There was a moment in my life when I was not the other mother of about 13 young people, all of which hung on and clung to me as if I had actually given birth to them.  One of these graciously sweet, rugged, and oh-so needy children is my boy Jonathan. How I obtained Jonathan was right out of the pages of a Stringfellow novel for sure; he's more of a victim than anything else -- Reuben happened to him.  Reuben's happen.  I tell people all the time, "Be careful, Reuben's happen!" Sometimes they listen.  I didn't have the opportunity to warn little Jonathan, he was unceremoniously dragged home from school one day by my son; I think they were in the 4th grade.

    "Mom!" came the bellow of my oldest; a 4th grader who was big, bulky, and brilliant of course; "MOM! Where are you?", he continued.  "I'm on the couch Baby Boy", came my answer, and as I began to straighten myself and get ready to welcome my children back home from their 2nd day of school, I noticed there was an extra kid standing before me, this one a boy, and he was a bit taller, more bulky, brawny even at the age of 10, and he was dark complexed.  We live in the Southwest part of the U.S. so I made an assumption that so many people probably make; I assumed our new visitor was Mexican - he was not.

    "Mom, can I have a Mexican friend?" asked Reuben. I know my eyes popped right out of my head at the sheer rudeness of the question, even for a 10-year-old; I thought I had raised my kids to be a lot more respectful of people and their cultures than that! Before I could answer my wayward son, the boy himself retorted with a quick scolding to my son saying, "I've told you, Reuben, I'm not Mexican. I'm Puerto Rican on my dad's side and my mom is from El Salvador."  My nod toward the bigger kid was genuine; I wanted to thank him for helping me straighten my own flesh and blood out, and help him to understand we have friends, not Mexican friends, not Black friends, not White friends, not Asian friends, we have friends. I continued nodding, and I gave my answer to Reuben as well as to his new friend, "Yes, you may have any friend you wish, but you can't call them names or use words that may seem insensitive at best, and racist at worse."  I asked him, "Remember when we lived in Arcadia, and you and the girls were the only white kids in the area? How would you have felt if Tyrelle had asked his mom if he could have a White friend?" To my shock, Reuben told me that's exactly what Tyrelle had asked his mom when the opportunity presented itself.  Just, wow. "Yes, " I said, you may have any friend you wish."  I then turned back to the bigger boy and asked him what his name was. He told me it was Jonathan Rios. From that day, that wonderful end of a summer day, I've been Jon's other mom, and it's been a tremendous pleasure.

    Jon's family is the family that gave us Faith!  Jon's dog Princess was Faith's mom, and though Princess was a full black chow, and Faith a yellow short-haired mutt, Princess was not the motherly type. Reuben literally had to rescue Faith from out from under Princess as the mother dog was trying to smother the little deformed puppy - - but that's natural; I mean, it's not cool, no, but it is natural.  Besides giving us Faith, Jon has given me a grandson as well, little Jasper is almost three, and he couldn't be any cuter. Before Faith, before Jasper, before most of the grown-up adult things that Reuben and Jon have been through; standing with each other at weddings and formal occasions come to mind; Jon and Reuben have been on the raw side of trouble too.  I think I recall a time the two of them and their friend Crayton found a real dead guy at the park near our home and rather than calling the cops they poked him with sticks and ran home to tell me about it.  They've walked the wrong way to a school event and ended up needing a ride home from the other side of town. They've partied at places they had no invitation to be at, and again, ended up calling me for a rescue! 

    Today, standing just over 6'3" and about 240 pounds, Jonathan is still a bit bigger and bulkier than Reuben; but their smiles compete with each other, neither boy (man) can stop laughing once the giggles start, and you know, you just know something happened - - but no, neither of them is going to be willing to squeal on the other; so, yeah, you just have to walk away shaking your head sometimes.  I think one of the funniest "Jonathan" stories I have now took place at Reuben's wedding to Josie in April 2019.  Jon of course was expecting to be Reuben's best man, though I don't know that it had been discussed; Jon made the assumption that he would be, and then when Reuben's good and close buddy from Indiana showed up, a man Reuben had hung with during the four years (more recently) that he lived in the Hoosier state, Jon began the whole I-May-Have-to-Pee-on-You thing; something men do I guess to show both dominance and possession.  Sizing up J.J. wasn't that difficult for Jon with his bulk, it was the subtle moves that J.J. was making, just sort of flanking around, moving into position at the right time.  I, of course, knew the outcome; you don't spend years and years camping with, bar-b-queuing, fishing, racing, hot-wheeling, playing ball, beating each other up and/or out doing each other for over twenty years to be 2nd man...no way!  My champion! Jon walked straight up to Reuben at the service, head held high, chest out, arms pushing J.J. to the side almost - - it was epic, just EPIC. 

    Last night Jonathan posted on his Facebook that he had a hampster to give away to someone who could take care of it. I think it was on his wall about three minutes before Laura was knocking on Jon's door with her hands held out. "Why didn't you call, Bro.?", she asked. "You don't have to post it, I'll take it. Is it a Dwarf?" she asked Jon?  I loved his answer, he said, "Laura, I'm surprised at you; you know your mom raised you better than to be rude like that, the hamster has feelings you know."  I swear, sometimes I just want to smack them all, but Jon is just a bit too tall for me to reach now.  He gives great hugs though!  I love my boy.