OK, so this is one of those churchy blogs, one of the ones that gives you a message, then an example, and explains what it is that I'm trying to convey without being too preachy or too hard on you. Believe me when I say that I am speaking from first-hand experience. I have screwed up! I have really stepped into it in the past, and because of it, I have learned. I have not only learned, but I have become compassionate and passionate about helping others not make the same mistake(s) I have made. I've probably done it more than once, if I'm honest with myself.
Let's first talk about what it is that I'm talking about. There is a verse (and maybe more than one) that goes over the fact that if you tell God you're going to do something and then you don't do it, you will be taken out back and punished. The Bible uses other terminology, but you get the picture. Think of it this way; God let you make a promise, and then when you didn't keep it, He may have let you off the hook, but if you tell the people around you or the angels who are given to you as messengers that your promise was a mistake, or that you really didn't mean it, well - - you've just put yourself above God! You've literally said to them that you don't mean what you say to God, and you shouldn't be held responsible. God doesn't see it that way.
When you tell God that you will do something, and then you don't do it, you are the one to blame. Let's say He gave you an opportunity; He didn't ask you to do something, but presented something to you to accept and you said you would. You told Him through your prayers or actions (or words) that you would fulfil the obligation; but you then decided not to do it. I'll give you another example; one my friend went through. Maybe it will make more sense. I'll give you one of my own flub-ups, too.
My friend John was shown a vision, a dream-like thing, where he knew he was awake, not asleep, and he was ministering for God. He was shown the work, shown the results, and he was pretty excited about it. He told God he would fully commit to it and couldn't wait to get started. Well, after he got home and discussed the situation with his wife, she put the kibosh on it without even discussing the fact that John had made a commitment to God. She said, and I can't quote, as I wasn't there, that John could take it up with God because she wasn't going to fund the mission work. She wasn't going to "let" him be gone when he could be working and bringing money in for the new car they just bought, and she said that next time he decided to commit them both to something maybe he should have run it past her first.
Can you think of the same 11 reasons I came up with why John should never have married the woman in the first place? John is the husband (was, they've since divorced) and as the husband he is the head of the house, but he never felt that he was. She would not submit to him even if she knew she was supposed to, even if it was a part of their marriage vows. That word "obey" was just a formality; she wasn't going to let John run them into the ground financially while he went out galavanting around as a missionary while she worked two jobs. It did not matter to her that this was his divine mission from Almighty God. She was the keeper of the purse, and in some ways, probably most ways, John knew this when they married. He should have prayed on the matter to ask God to soften the wife first; then, he could have made the commitment.
Well, almost immediately after making the promise, John began telling himself and God that he spoke too soon, he wasn't able to do it, and it was probably just him getting excited over a message the pastor gave anyway. He really didn't mean it; it was a mistake. What does the Bible say about that? Here you go, from the New King James: Ecclesiastes 5:1-6
6: "Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands?"
John was the lead singer of a band; they played at youth concerts and church events mostly. He started having gigs that fell apart; weather interrupts, car issues. He became ill and couldn't play. He broke his thumb and couldn't play. Soon after that, COVID hit the world, and BAM...no one was working. For over a year, the man was forced to live secluded with a wife who abused him mentally, emotionally, and fundamentally as she took on the role of the breadwinner as well as the disciplinarian for the kids. She would literally tell the kids they didn't have to listen to their dad; he was stupid and he was incompetent. He couldn't work, and therefore, he didn't have a say in any of the family matters. THIS IS NOT BIBLICAL - - but it is.
God tells us to pray about who we should marry. John didn't do that. He grabbed the first woman who seemed interested in him after he had given his life to Christ. New Christian, new wife, new life - - great, right? No! He didn't marry the woman God had prepared for him, and she all but destroyed who he was trying to become. God destroyed the work of John's hands; God kept John from creating more work, and it all ended up in a deadly spin of depression, anxiety, anger, and rage. After the lockdowns were over, the two split up. They had been living separately in the same house for over nine months before that.
When he could, when he realized what had happened (literally 3 years later) he found himself living with friends and family, on the street at times, and even at a church in the back rooms where he was working as a janitor and assisting in youth ministry to pay for room and board, but nothing else. About a month ago we talked and I shared with him the verse I just shared -- it hit him like a brick between the eyes. He asked, "Have you ever done something this stupid?" to which I could only say yes, I have.
I'm not sure exactly what I had promised God, and that's a problem too. I told God I would do something and not only did I not do it, I can't remember what it was that I told Him I would do. I spent over twenty years trying to recover from my error. I went through divorce, a five-year custody battle, raising three kids without a single penny of support, all the while I went to school full time and worked full time to make ends come as close as they could - - not always meeting. I remember falling on my face before God and saying I knew I made a mistake, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I begged Him for His divine forgiveness, and guess what -- He forgave me.
Then about four years ago He gave me an opportunity; one I could have said no to, but I knew I was supposed to say yes. I said yes. I have been commissioned, assigned if you will, the duty to pray for one man. That's it. Just one guy; he's not famous; he's just God's work in progress. The thing is, there isn't anyone else in this man's life who is praying for him on a daily basis. His grandmother would, but she passed. His wife never did; his mother is really busy and hasn't made it her priority. He has friends, of course, but they don't keep him lifted on a regular basis. God asked me if I would -- I said yes.
Let me tell you, there are times when this man makes my promise to God seem as if it was a huge mistake. He's not "high maintenance" like he may think that he is, he's just really stubborn, obstitnate even, and he's skeptical, and untrusting. He's a good man. He's a Believer, but he's been angry with himself, his wife, his family, his choices, his life, and even with God. He's on the mend now, but these past four years have been a roller coaster from the get-go. I wanted to kick him in the teeth a few times myself, but then I remembered that my promise to God more than outweighed my emotional connection to the man. He's the one God asked me to pray for. There had to be a reason, and there was.
The reason I'm praying for this guy (as it was revealed to me recently) was that he made a promise to God and didn't keep it. He thought he would, but he didn't. He tried, but he wasn't able to pull it off -- could be another John thing; a wife who refused to support him but had only disdain and ugly words for him. I can't know for sure; he's too embarrassed to share much. Whatever the reason, he's on his own now but he's not alone. He has Jesus. I'm there, of course, still praying, and I know God is faithful. He always keeps His promises to us -- God can't lie. The other really cool thing about God is that He's literally NEVER WRONG, so if He asked me to do this, He wants me to do it. It's part of His plan.
There's another reason I pray for this guy; it's simple. I've grown to understand him since I've been praying for him. I've grown to love him in a familial way -- he's part of my heart now. I consider him part of my family, though we've never met. We'll meet in Heaven as we are both Believers. It's cool; I don't have to be his buddy here; we have eternity to talk and to praise our God, the One we know has only His best for us. When I think about it, I'm so very blessed for this opportunity. It means I'm both pleasing God and delighting in Him. The Bible tell me in Psalms 37:4 that if I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart -- I guess then, maybe I'm a little selfish; I want my desires so yeah, I'll delight in Him.
One more verse for you. John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life." I believe.
Photo Credit: Christianity.com
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