Another odd and unusual year has come to a close (almost) and though we still have a few weeks left in 2023, I thought I would go ahead and talk about what has happened in my life over the past 12 months. I've had worse 12-month experiences, to be sure, but also, to be fair, I've had better as well.
This time last year I was working for a small investment firm in the "Back Office" as I was to be trained to be in the Finance department just after the holidays, where I would have been a trader's assistant. That was really right up my alley, as I had been training for a few years for just such a position. I had completed my SIE courses, taken the test, and I had passed. I was hired with the understanding that I would be in the back office doing the dirty work for about 3-4 months then I would be handed over to a new supervisor; to pick up the slack and learn what it meant to buy and trade bonds. I could use the training in my personal endeavors with learning how to trade currency on the Foreign Exchange. Pretty cool stuff.
On 12/28/22 I was called into the HR department and told I was being terminated. I was not being handed over to a new finance manager, but kicked out of the company entirely; this after having been given a Christmas bonus, a great 90-day evaluation, as well as several congrats and comments from the V.P., and one of the two presidents who felt that I would be a great asset. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense that they were going to give me a severance either. I hadn't been there very long at all. They gave it to me so I couldn't or wouldn't seek legal action. I was being terminated by my own supervisor, who had just made the Board of Directors over the guy in Finance, and she wanted to thump him -- she did it by terminating his next big thing. What a bitch. Karma is a real thing, she'll get hers.
Just after the first of the year, with my severance and the right to file for unemployment if I wanted to, I decided to write a book, a novel. I decided to just relax, let it all go, and just pour myself into a creative venue rather than waste my time worrying about Kathrine whatshername. I literally can't remember her last name. That's how much she actually means to me. I could go find it if I wanted to, but good riddance.
I wrote the book and sent it off to be published. I fought like hell with the publisher, and I spent way way too much money on the project. That was about the time an insurance guy called me and said he heard I was out of work. He needed an assistant, and we agreed not only that I would work from home, but that I would also be paid X amount; no quotas, because the carrier had taken a HUGE hit the previous fall, and clients were dropping off, not buying insurance. My role was to retain folks, and hopefully make a sale now and again. I agreed. I should not have.
By April, just a few months into the year, the man's bigoted attitude and his racism got to me. I couldn't morally or ethically continue to work for him. I let him know how I felt, and yes, he terminated me. I needed him to terminate me rather than quit so I could collect unemployment. I didn't want to be on unemployment, but I also needed to find another line of work. Selling insurance in Oklahoma at that time, and now, is just too hard to do on commission. If I was on unemployment for five months, I could learn a new trade in the business. That was my entire plan. I had another plan too; to write a few more books.
In April I wrote "Murder Book", and it was my first book to fully self-publish by using Ingram-Spark. I found out I could write the manuscript, edit it, format it, and upload it 100% free!! What? That was just too cool. Having the cover created through Canva and Adobe was also free. I had to keep up their monthly subscriptions after the initial 30-day trial, but the book cover, the process, the publishing, and the editing were 100% FREE. That thrilled me. I decided from that point every single book I wrote would be free.
In May I released "Jude's Almost Daily Blog Book 2", a book I had 98% written, that was just needing to be put together. It needed to be edited, formatted, and needed to be published. It took about one week. Again free, and again, too excited about that fact. I also picked up a few tips on how to do what's called estimating insurance claims. I found out that being an estimator, or claims adjuster (I was already licensed) could earn me a lot more money, but it did take time to learn and there were some expenses to pay along the way.
The entire summer from late May through August was spent trying to hone my skills as a claims adjuster through study, research, modules, and working with a dozen insurance carriers and affiliates that literally take you by the hand to train you if you're willing. I bought licenses in other states, 10 in fact, and I worked my way through hundreds of hours of study to get as much into my head as I could. When I couldn't pack in more, I wrote books. I used writing a means to escape and create. It worked out for me.
In June I wrote nothing, but in July I wrote two books back to back. One was a romance book, but not like "Of Kilted Pleasure". This one took place in modern times and though it was even titled "Edinburgh" and took place in the great city, it was a book about life changes and challenges for a woman in her 40s, which isn't the same as most romance novels. It was a good book. It is a good book. The 2nd novel I wrote in July and spilling into August was "Pinball". It was put on hold for some reason, probably because I kept looking for work, and I published it in October. Pinball is the sequel to Murder Book. I love love love that book.
In August, I rekindled a tossed friendship with a person who I felt had some grace left within her. You're told not to surround yourself with overtly negative people, and that's why we ceased to be friends in the past. She couldn't and wouldn't stop her woe-is-me (constant) attitude. She was just a mess and still is. We were friends again, but only briefly. I tried so hard to make the best of it. I called her every day, encouraged her and tried to help her mentally and emotionally. She helped me once financially and I'll go into that in a minute, but in the end, she proved to be the same back-stabbing bitch she was the year before. I couldn't continue my quest to be her friend. She went so far over the line to hurt me. It stung too hard.
In October I was finally hired to start a job with the state, but it wasn't going to start until December 4! What? Several weeks from the time I needed to go back to work as my last unemployment check had been spent on rent just that week. I was happy of course, as I live with my daughter, and she was able to pick up the slack, but the fact is, I've never been so close to the wire and without funds in my life; not even when the kids were little and I found it so very difficult to make ends meet. I had parents or someone to lean on, but today it was a kid!! (She's OK, she's even happy to do so because she knows I carried the three of them for years.)
In November, at the beginning of it, my car tag was stolen. The sticker on the right side that has the year on it. I didn't know this, but I picked Laura up from work and was pulled over by a very sweet police officer who said he didn't have a choice, he had to give me a ticket. No warnings are given these days. I didn't have the money to pay for the tag and my friend was asked if she could help. She agreed, and even though the amount was more in person than what I was told on the phone it would be, she paid it. I was most grateful; thanking her, and promising to pay her after I started my new job. I will mention that the job I received was one she had agreed to take then she withdrew her application for it. She encouraged me to go for it, I did, I was accepted, and now she was upset about it. I not only "took her job" I "took her money". Can you see where this is going?
My "friend" had begged me to apply, saying she felt I would be good at it. I got the job, and she got upset, but she never told me. She paid for my tag, having at least two opportunities to say no, but when she did pay for it, she again talked herself into believing that I somehow manipulated her. Her rant online was unbelievable and I was again hurt by her darts; why couldn't she have told me how she felt? I would have made some other arrangement even if it meant parking the car and not driving it! That same day I was called by the state HR department saying they were rescinding my offer for the position. Apparently, someone had called them to say I had lied on my application. I can't tell you how hurt I was over that.
Not only would the HR people NOT tell me directly what they found or thought they found, however they implied that the anonymous caller who gave them information about me had stated that I had been terminated by a finance company in 2022, something I had not mentioned; therefore that may have been the deception. I asked if I was allowed to defend or explain, and I was told no. There you go; the only people who really knew about the investment company's termination status were my friends. This woman not only purposely called my new employer to have my offer rescinded, but she wanted the job back, and apparently bad enough to ask for it; the only reason I know this is she boasted about it on her social media. Needless to say, we are no longer friends.
I wrote a letter to the state explaining that my recruiter and resume drafter had advised me not to put anything on my application that had been less than 180 days. I listened to their advice, but if they felt I had been deceptive I would at least ask for a hearing to clear my name. That was not to happen, I received a call from the state saying the matter was dropped, and I could again apply if I chose to, but the starting date for the next session of training would be mid-April. CRAZY but true. It had to do with budgeting I believe, but at least I knew where their information had come from, and I was able to cut the cancer out of my life permanently.
In November I decided to write another book. This one is about mean girls at a barn who do awful things to one another, and yes, I will include what my ex and former friend did to me because it makes for good reading. People, for some reason, want all the gory details. If I can make a buck off the way she behaved, I suppose that's a start to fill up the hole that she left when she shafted me for the last time. I'm reminded of the characters of Edgar Allen Poe's "Cask of Amontillado" when the one man who had been jeered and insulted for the last time decided to seal up his former friend in a wall down in a lonely damp and isolated basement. I didn't want to go that far - - but maybe I will in another book; she really hurt me.
Bay Sorrel Ranch is about 80% done now and will be released just before Christmas. I'm finishing the last few chapters before editing it, formatting it, and sending it up to the publisher. I'll start a new free subscription for Canva and Adobe for 30 days, it's been long enough now I can do that, and I'll close out the year employed, because my new job starts next Monday, December 11. I'm not telling ANYONE where I am going to work, or what I will be doing. I've been shanked, shafted, hurt, and deceived too many times in the past. I've simply been too nice about it, and that has to end. I have to protect myself, and I will.
In closing, I guess the year 2023 was really cool in that I wrote and published six books; that's something to be proud of. I also had a good friend hurt me, but I had the grace to forgive once and the withal to stand my ground when she proved to be the monster she was before. I pray for her, and I will continue to do so, but I can't allow my soul, my heart, or my compassions to fall like they did. I've been too pie-in-the-sky with my feelings and hopes in the past, not wanting to see reality for what it is. I know the world is ugly at times, but my optimism kicks in and I want more for myself and everyone else.
The year was a good year. I didn't earn much, so it wasn't a profitable year, but I did relax, I did learn, I did write, I did love, and I did understand quite a bit more than I knew the year before. I'll be OK, and I'll even survive. God is great, and if nothing else, He is to be praised in the hallways even if the doors all close.
Photo Credit: Freepik.com
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