EVERY now and again I will come out of my constant fantasy world to realize that I have three cats and two dogs living with me in my apartment in the middle of a relatively urban city. Then, as if that's not enough, I also realize that I share this habitat with another creature altogether; one I am thankful that God only made one of them in the first place; my daughter Laura. She's way past the age of kicking out of the house so I just consider her a roommate. I mean, she is a roommate, she pays half of the bills (almost) and she eats most of my food; like a roommate. One thing I truly appreciate about the kid is that she never puts notes on "her" food that reads "Don't touch this, or I'll break your damn fingers". That's a plus.
The cats are the cats. I live with them, they exist, they co-mingle, they rule. It's understood by all of us, it's accepted, and we move forward. There is a rule, however, a rule in our house that we (you or me) can not disturb a dog if one is laying on a person, next to (touching) a person, that person is given a pass to ask anyone else in the household who is NOT covered or in contact with a dog, to get a drink, feed them, answer the door, get the mail, do whatever would be considered a community errand were it not for the fact that that person is now incapacitated by the presence of a dog who must not be disturbed. In our house, this rule does not apply to cats; cats don't count. Also, the dogs have ruling status so that if the dog I am holding or next to is "senior" to the other dog(s) in the household, I am, therefore, by proxy, the senior loafer and can give orders to anyone not holding a dog or one who is, but whose dog is inferior or junior to my own. Does ANY of this make sense to you? If it does, welcome. If it does not, well, you may want to re-read that paragraph before coming over for tea; just sayin' and if you DO come over for tea, be smart about it, and grab the senior dog.
Right now, as I type, Baeleigh, the black and white tuxedo cat with the skin condition no one can pinpoint, is laying across my keyboard. You may or may not realize the difficulty this puts me in while I type this Blogspot. She is the senior cat, however, and my own rules about not disturbing dogs do apply to me when it comes to Bae. I just don't expect anyone else to follow that particular rule. She is the Queen - - long live the Queen. At the time of this writing, Bae is 9 years old.
My current job as an author allows me the freedom I need to dream, conjure, fantasize, make-believe, and basically slack off as much as I want to; this can't be a permanent luxury, but it is mine for the taking at the moment, so yes, I'm taking full and open advantage of it. I even pretend I'm pretending during some lull-moments of the day just so I can keep up with my personal expectation of what a leisurely author should or should not be doing. I find myself cleaning the house and I stop myself to pretend I have a maid. I pretend to be said maid (who I have named Irene) and I clean the kitchen, do the dishes, sweep, mop, empty trash, and change out litter boxes. I may pretend to be the butler and answer the door if someone knocks on it; why would a would-be successful author deign to get off the couch and answer the door? I can send one of my "people". Ha! Just writing that out loud makes it seem as if I've lost my marbles, but that would purport that I had marbles, to begin with, doesn't it?
I need to name my cook too; I don't think Irene cooks. I want bacon and eggs right now and I don't have anyone to make that happen - - Oh wait, I do! I can literally step over to the bed and grab Ginger, though not the senior dog, she is within arm's reach, and I'm betting that Laura is on her computer because I can hear her screaming at her little sister; words a mom would really never accept if the two of them were in the same room, but it's Grand Theft Auto I think; that or Red Dead Redemption. Laura will do my bidding -- she has to; I have the dog. Her only option would be to find Yuuki, her dog, the older dog, the senior dog, and put him on her lap - - and she won't do that because she would DIE in the game! YES...I will win this one. She will NOT die, as she will be able to express her frustration of obeying family ruling to her tiny sibling; who will then suspend all murdering events on the game long enough for me to be fed. I am so smart sometimes...yes, this is a good, good plan.
I love reality! (sometimes)
No comments:
Post a Comment