I Can Twerk, People!

 Woot!  Here I was thinking I was just not that cool because I couldn't twerk, but nope, that is not the case now folks!  I can in fact TWERK, but I will be honest with you, I can only do it if I'm standing on the new LifePro Waver vibration plate that I just purchased. The dang thing weighs 35 pounds, and it was a bear to drag up the stairs when the delivery man brought it to me.  EASY to set up, just plug it in, hook up the jump rope type straps they give you, and turn it on! The power button turns it on, the start button starts the vibration plate moving, and you pick and choose your time and speed.  I am used to moving a bit, so I set it at 10 minutes (recommended time from the chiropractor) and I set the speed at 30.  The LifePro goes up to 99, but hey, I wanted to be sure I didn't rattle my brains out at 30 before moving on to actually rattling my brains out of my head. I may need my brains for, later on, to be honest.

So, there I was, trying not to concentrate on the timer because time slows to a freaking crawl when I'm on the vibration plate.  I do a solid minute and I think I'm done! I glance down between my knees to see the timer and I guess at that point I had to bend a bit to peek past the boobs, and that's when it happened; I TWERKED!  Oh my freakin' gosh, my body twerks!  Well, I didn't care how much time I had left, I was just too happy about my butt moving up and down and side to side at the same time (with or without my assistance) it was real!  I did what everyone would expect me to do; I called for Laura to get out of bed and watch me twerk! Not lying, she refused. I literally had to twerk alone, by myself, except for the fat cat Sammy, he was interested - - more in the fact that I was laughing I think, but he was still within eyeshot, and I asked him his opinion.  He's a cat. He got bored and walked away.

I glanced to the right, over to the dining room table, and I saw another of our three cats, this one Baeleigh. She was sitting, sort of laying, in her little box-bed which sits on the dining room table. We don't actually eat at the dining room table, and the cat needed a place to call her own. It's like a "base" from the other two cats, which are both males.  Bae is the Queen of course, and she is the ruling cat, but the boys don't always remember this. I asked Bae what she thought about my new ability to twerk; she was less impressed than Sammy - - but what can I expect from a Queen? I am now the master of my own destiny when it comes to working the glutes, my friend. I can, and I will be dancing, moving, shaking, riding, cycling, and even standing on the floor squatting with weights, but this butt will be glorious! (You can't see me laughing, I'm laughing, and once again, Sammy has made an appearance. He's such a weirdo.)

LifePro makes a few vibration plates. I first used one years ago at the chiropractor's office, and when I went for a recent adjustment she had one. I asked if there were commercial machines out there that a person could buy for the home that wasn't cheap or would fall apart. She recommended the LifePro and she stated there were several I could choose from regarding size, durability, price, etc.  I went with the Waver, as it fits in my budget and dining room -- remember, we don't eat there. I should call it something else.  Let me see, the cat sleeps there, we store things we're sending off to Caity in the mail, and we let groceries sit there until they can be placed in the appropriate cabinet.  The bike is stored there, as is the step ladder, but now the vibration plate -- the dining room is a catch-all, but that's too generic; it has to be something more captivating.  I'll think of something. The Marvel Room, yeah, that's it. The Marvel Room. I suppose we could call it the "Throne Room" since Bae Bae resides in her box on top of the table - - yes, the Throne Room it is.

Back to me twerking! For years I have embarrassed both myself and my children attempting to do the Miley Cyrus signature move, but it was to no avail. I was worse at twerking than I am at drawing and you have no idea how hideous things can look until you see my rendition of an image; no idea. The word "suck" is just too gentle for my drawing talents, there are no words for how badly I draw. Bad as my drawings may be,  my butt just simply would not cooperate (and still doesn't if I'm not on the plate at 30 or better.) Today is the day I claim my twerkness! No one other than Laura really gets to see it - - unless Caity comes over, maybe Jeannie, Niki, or Robin, I'll deign to allow them to view my butt antics. (No boys allowed)  I should video it when I get to my goal weight -- that would be awesome; maybe...but what will the cats think?  It may look strange, me trying to twerk, bend, and hold the phone just right to get the angle - - who cares? It will be glorious!