Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Headlining - It Could Happen!

My booking agent is Mike Maguire. Mike works with 128 athletes and former athletes who live and play all over Vegas, so it wasn't really a surprise to me when he suggested that I take my comedy to a smaller, more intimate lounge on The Strip. I could, but it wouldn't be just my act - immediately I began making little plans, which soon turned into mega plans, rolling over the top of my head plans, and plans that soon became so big I found myself placing phone calls, getting estimates for video production, buying mics, stools, and any necessary props I might need. I decided that Starbucks, Old Navy, American Airlines, and Dublin Dogs would be great sponsors too! (See how I am when I get an idea in my little brain? Warning - She's a thinker!)

Before I was old enough to know better - I did stand up routine on stages that would probably be laughed at today, but they were giants then. They had real brick walls and they had electrical cords strung out all over the place. Lights were haphazardly hung using 3 of the 4 bolts necessary - their fading colored filters burning overhead and dripping onto the stage just to the left of my Converse! That sort of set - raw and edgy, fun and smoky, the way a hot spot was suppose to be. Well, the way the lounges were before laws went into effect about minors not coming into the venue, smoking being restricted, and forget about cell phones going off - I remember using a hardwired phone pulled out on a really long extension to use as a prop - I'd call my dad, or pretend to, and have him explain through me why he's actually related to himself. (Arkansas bit)

Well - I still tell some of the rude jokes, and I still make up puns, double-meanings, and throw out pieces that could be considered funny - and they get attention from time to time. This time it was my booking agent. He had been to a star-show that he didn't find all that funny. In light of what Sebastian Maniscalco calls comedy, I can see why Vegas may actually be looking for fresh or even older material that brings in and keeps a crowd - I'm not saying that I still have it, maybe I don't, but it would be a family show and it would be full of stories, questions, interaction, Faith would make an appearance of course, and get this - Laura would sing! Caity could do a little 4-6 minute get together with the kids in the audience, she's great with the little guys - scary when you think about that fact. Seeing my erotica-writing, dyed-over-dye haired kid working so tenderly with the smaller humans just freaks me out - I keep waiting for the shoe to drop, but it doesn't. OMG - what if she became a Kindergarten teacher? Our future could be in danger at that point - real serious danger.

Anyway, the whole show would last about 70 minutes, and it would include a 6 minute tape/video of our commitment to the troops. It would have a 3 minute illustrated, animated video expressing Reuben's input since he couldn't' be there - but it would be so touching and so moving that the audience wouldn't have an option but to love it - that's my style. I want to pull a heart string because I want them to remember what really is important - family. Love. Laughing. Living. Learning.

So, with that said - more plans are being made - without permission of course, but once the ball is rolling it's hard to stop it's pressure, its weight, its size, it just has a way of coming to life on its own. This could happen! If it did I would do everything I could to keep the price WAY WAY down so that every family could go and take every member - the show would change in that my bit would be a Blog of the Week sort of thing - updated, currently funny and quite relative, something everyone could relate to - Laura's singing would be a prelude to her famous touring days, and the world would have the opportunity to see the Wild One in a moment of sheer joyful bliss - I'm sure she'll wear some really funky clothes, and make every 5-11 year old want to dress just like her and they'll all beg to have the color stripped from their hair so they can be JUST like Caity - damn...damn...damn. (To think, I created this creative genius.)

Hopefully in the very near future my future will be in your future - you'll come to Vegas, we'll hug and you can do the Starbucks' Toast, telling me where you've been - bringing me business cards from YOUR favorite Starbucks. I would love to end up with every card available. I have 319 now that I've actually visited - They DO need to sponsor me don't they? Keep your fingers crossed, but don't place the bet just yet - hold your cards. Let Lady Luck kiss me first!

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