I've mentioned it before, but there are several different (very different) words for the word "love" in the Hebrew as well as the Greek languages. Standard Western modern English speakers choose to use and overuse the word; it really is unfortunate. I want to say it, I want to apply it, but often times when I do, I know I'm either overstating it or understating it in some cases. I just want to say what I so very badly want to say. "I love you", but I want to say it with genuine trust, feeling, and the appropriate level of what it really is. Oftentimes, when we say "I love you", the other person goes straight to the top of the spectrum thinking we're either off our rockers and have no right to say such words, or they think we want a different type of relationship than we do - - which again, finds us wanting for more words to say what we really do mean.
Let me explain. About four years ago, well, longer than that, but we'll say four, God and I were talking and He led me to a particular person to think about. It was rather strange really how it all began, but then again, we serve a very mysterious and often strange God. He pushed me to want to listen to gospel music, but I was really thinking I wanted to listen to something more folksy, more...Celtic. As God is, He put a thought in my head to do both. I do what everyone does...I Googled it. I literally put in the words "Celtic Worship Music" and there it was... a Scottish band calling themselves "Celtic Worship"...Yeah, OK, thanks God. I had to laugh.
As I listened, (and I mean from the first note) I had an immediate prick to my heart. It wasn't LOVE like some like to tease me and try to make me admit to. It was LOVE in the way that God directs me, shows me, and creates in me a strong and direct connection. What word do we have in English that compares? What word can I use? The only one I can come up with is "obedience" because the deep and penetrating movement inside my soul was another command, not a suggestion, it was a direct command to begin praying for the lead singer; the man I was listening to. I didn't even know his name. I thought it was Steve McCord for a while - - some would tease again and say that for a while there was a man by that name being prayed over instead of Steph Maclead (the real name of the singer) but that's simply not true. I may be an idiot, but my God is not. He knew (knows) who it was that He gave to me to pray over, and it was Steph Macleod who received those prayers.
Over time, (because I'm an idiot, did I mention that?) I somehow managed to upset Steph, and I regret every second of that moment because he didn't deserve it, and though he may or may not realize or appreciate it, I am still bound by my obedience to God (not him) to continue to pray for the one person God laid on my soul to pray for. You may remember that God is eternal. He's not on the five-year plan, or the "until you think you can stop" plan; believe me, after a few rude comments and arguments that I probably (most probably) instigated, I wanted (I begged) to be free from the command. Needless to say, I was not released. I will never be released...but this admittance is not me saying I love the man in the way that others will try and create - - because we don't have the words we need in our language. I love the man because he is the one God asked me to love; through prayer.
Today, like other days, I was driven into the closet to pray for a moment, a feeling, a hurt, a pain, something that wasn't settling right -- it had nothing to do with Steph, nothing whatsoever, and I found myself in deep deep prayer for myself and for the trickery surrounding me through friends who turned evil toward me. Right in the middle of it, right in the intensity of my burden, I heard a voice; it wasn't God. It was Steph. He was singing "Blessed Assurance", the cover from Celtic Worship's 2nd Album "Morning Tide". Jesus gave that thought me to say "Settle down for a minute and listen. This is the man I sent you. He has what you need today. He has the words you need...listen." This is another form of love, but again, not the love people like to attach to two people - - it's so much more encompassing than that; it's love that Jesus brings between Believers.
In the darkness of the small quiet room, in my mind, in my soul, I was settled. I listened, and I continued to pray but my words were changed; I wasn't praying for myself anymore. All I needed to know was that I was in the midst of unconditional love, limitless, endless, eternal - - I didn't need to cry over it, it was settled. I was directed to do what I was told to do; to pray for Steph. There is a truth in the statement that we are served when we serve. We are blessed when we bless. We are prayed for and prayed over when we pray for and over others. If God gave me 50 people I would pray for all 50, but He didn't do that. He didn't give me 50 two-legged dogs to travel the world with either - - just one. I will do what I am commanded to do; and I will do it until He tells me to stop - - what do you want to be that will be seconds after the Rapture.
Why do I choose to obey God? Because I am one very very selfish woman. I know that if I do what He has told me to do, I will be blessed. If I do what He has given me to do, I will be blessed. My blessings will manifest - - every last one of them. All I have to do is delight myself in the Lord and HE will give me the desire of my heart; that's my claim. Psalms 37:4 is still in the Book, and so is the next verse, Psalms 37:5...it tells me that if I commit myself to Him, He will bring it to pass. HE will bring me what my heart desires. Contrastly, if I do not do what He has asked, I will NOT receive my blessings or my heart's desire. I want my blessings...Steph will simply have to put up with me praying over him and for him. I think he'll be OK. He may puff out his cheeks in frustration and confusion over it, but hey, a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do - - this one will anyway. I obey. If I don't do anything else right in this world, I obey God.
Do I love Steph? Oh, that's easy...yes. I love him from now until eternity, and as you may have guessed, eternity is a very very long time. I'm not in love with him. That's another word altogether. I think we all know that, but it needed to be mentioned. Am I confused, or what some would say obsessed? No. I am obedient, and I am only subjected to One. When Jesus laughed so very loudly up in Heaven on January 12, 2003, and sent my son Reuben to bring home a little two-legged dog that had less than a true chance of survival, He (Jesus) knew I would do exactly what it took to see that the little dog not only survived but that her story would be told from one end of the world to the other - - for yes, eternity. Faith is up in Heaven now, and if you think about it -- she could have had something to do with this new assignment. Faith loves music too, and she knows my doggedness. I won't stop, not if I have a job to do. https://tinyurl.com/FaiththedogWiki
Thank you, Jesus...you very precious God. I truly do LOVE you, and that word could be all-encompassing, all-encircling, all-ambient, all-inclusive. I love love love love You, God. Let my obedience be protective, and let your everlasting peace fall and be on Steph for this day, for the next, and for yes, eternity. Thank you for the gift and opportunity given. Heal any and all warrants between us; if not in this life, in the next.
"Seek ye first, the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
It's a real promise. He can't lie. He said it, I believe it, and that settles it.
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