Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Liar Liar! Pants on Fire!

 As kids we often ran behind someone cackling out a really annoying cadence of "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!" and we were really so immature about it. We still do it as adults when we tease or want to appear cute or funny. Most of us don't do it genuinely after the age of say 12.  What it really symbolizes is that the person calling the cadence KNOWS that the other person(s) is a liar, a non-truth teller, and the kid being obnoxious is really just having a jest at the expense of the would-be liar.  I think the "pants on fire" part is to warn them not to lie or else they'll burn up and go to hell. That seems about right. We were always thinking something was going to send us straight to hell when we were kids. (Now we know that only one thing will actually cause that fate to happen -- but that's another blog)

    Lies, as it turns out, can actually make a person sick to their stomach. It can also affect their head in that telling lies can cause anxiety and stiffness in the neck.  We know when we're lying. We just do it for the dumbest of reasons too. Most of us lie to either fit in, or not to be pulled out of whatever clique we've adjoined ourselves to.  We lie to cover up a little problem. We lie to cover for someone else. We lie so we're not seen as being overly religious, overly domineering, overly blunt, or overly whatever. We lie because we're chicken-shit and we can't take the truth when it's standing right there in front of us. We choose to lie. Face it, sometimes it's just easier to lie.

    Bigger lies don't exist. You have, we have, all heard someone say "It was just a little white lie" it doesn't really matter, and it doesn't hurt anyone. It was said to smooth things over, and you know, there's that one that says "It's none of their business, so I just lied to give them something to think about. They wouldn't leave me alone! So I lied."  Hey, you're not alone if you've done that. We have all, and I mean ALL, done that from time to time. Is it right? No. Does it suffice? Sometimes. Is it going to be a bad thing if we don't straighten it out? Maybe.  The thing is, in the end, I mean the REAL end, we are all accountable for our actions. We will face the music. We will give an answer for it; maybe not here on Earth.

    I used to teach Ethics at the college level. On the very first day of class, I got there early, and I wrote on the board "QUESTION: Is it ever OK to tell a lie?"  The first assignment in order to introduce themselves to the class was to answer the question, and say their name.  NOT ONE TIME did I ever ask anyone to explain themselves. NOT ONCE, but time and time again, over and over again, the students would stand up, read out their answers, tell their names and give reasons why lying could be OK. I think a few may have said no it wasn't, but really, almost every last one of them every semester, said it was OK and they told everyone why they thought that.  The second question I wrote on the board was "QUESTION: Why did you feel the need to explain yourself when I never asked you to?"  Wow...that as a show stopper EVERY TIME.  Laughter!  Red-faced laughter.

    According to so many documented professional white papers, there are reasons for a person to start telling the truth and one of them is to release themselves from the years of anxiety and stress caused by telling so many lies. They have to try and remember which friend they told this to, and which friend they told that to. When it becomes necessary to rehearse an imaginary conversation with yourself before you see a friend, colleague, or family member just to go over the ways and means of what it was you may or may not have said, there's a real problem. You may seek therapy for it, and the therapist may ask you to go back and remedy the situation; sort of like a 12-step program for alcohol or drugs, lying is a real killer! It can become so bad that people believe their own lies over time and they just hate themselves to the point of not wanting to be alone; they don't like the company they're with when they are alone.

    The suicide rate due to anxiety in some smaller countries is by capita so much greater than that of the United States, and you'd think the U.S. would have more attempts and suicides but we tend to let off steam and vent more; this could be a reason why we have fewer attempts and less successful events.  Suicide is never the answer, it really isn't. There is always someone somewhere who can at least try to help if the depression gets that bad. Another lie people tell themselves is that no one cares about them. That they don't matter, that the world would be better off without them. These too are lies. NOT the truth, and not the way things should become.  I wish I could just cut to the quick here and say STOP THE MADNESS just tell the BLEEPING truth!

    We lie to hide something we don't want others to know. We lie to conceal more than we lie to show. We lie to hide more than we lie to expose. We lie to cover up more than we lie to reveal. Are you getting the picture? What is done in the dark will be made known in the light -- eventually. NOTHING is hidden forever. What happens is that people pretend to be this way, when really they are that way, and then because of their job, their hobby, their position or status, they lie and say they are doing what is expected of them.  They tell other people things like "Your revelations couldn't be further from the truth" when in REALITY, the revelations mentioned were SPOT ON -- even if it isn't the business of the one making the revelations, stating that they are so far off is a LIE  Best to ignore someone than to lie and pretend to be something you're not (especially when the proof is overwhelming).  Best to let your yes be yes and your no be no.

    Lies = sickness.  Here's a great article about it,  https://www.nextavenue.org/truth-lying-makes-you-sick/       I won't go into full detail, but much of what I've talked about is covered in this article. It was sent to me by a friend who called me to say she had been lying to me for years. She and her husband were on the brink of divorce. He was living in the house to save money, but it was about to drive her crazy and she couldn't keep it up much longer without busting from the stress the lies (not the man) were causing.  The man was and is his own stress maker, but the lies of telling me, others, family members, church members, and anyone that he was OK and that the marriage was really strong was just overwhelming after a while. Both had stopped posting things about love and fun things; it became apparent to anyone who followed them that there was something wrong, but rather than tell the truth she decided it was best to keep it in-house and just lie - - it was, after all, their business, right?  Right. Right up until the day she had a panic attack and was hospitalized for it. Her doctor prescribed telling the truth!  That was amazing!

    Well, I'll let you go, but I wanted to bring this up because so many people lie about who they are, what they are, if they are, etc.  They can't just say I am....(fill in the blank) because they think it's a private matter. Private or not your gut doesn't see things this way. Your gut will bloat and cause vile nasty things to happen to you because you decided to continue to lie about it. You, me, we lie when we don't want to be caught  - here's a thought, don't do anything you'd be CAUGHT at doing! Live your life in such a way that no one can say anything about you that isn't true.  That way you don't have to keep up the fairytales. Cut out the cause of your illnesses, both mental and physical -- be honest.

    It may not win you any popularity contests, but you'll rest better. 


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