OMG...I am not kidding; if someone would be wise enough to create a manure scented candle I would buy it! I say that, and I mean that but it would need to be a horse manure scent, not a cow patty, and it would also have to have either good alfalfa added to the mix and/or some good 14% protein pellet scents as well. I would buy a dozen candles and keep my house smelling like a barn year around. If you think I'm kidding, you don't know me. If you know me, and you think you don't want to come to visit me if my house smells like a barn, I'm pretty sure you and I are not really that close. I love my barn.
Toby Keith (good Oklahoma boy) wrote a song about loving his bar, but I could write a song (and may just do that now that I'm thinking about it) about loving my barn. You can't beat a good barn. You can go by yourself, you can take friends and family. You can stay all day, you can hang out for a few hours. I will say this; I don't think I've ever gone to the barn and left only a few minutes after arriving. You really can't do that even if you're just dropping off feed, hay, tack, or meds. You (I) have to go through the barn, visit every last occupied stall, kiss every last horse, pony, donkey, pig, cow, whatever happens, to be in the barn. I have to find the cats, make sure they're fed. I usually try to locate a dog or two; depending on whether the owner's dogs are out or if some other boarder has brought their hounds. You just (I just) can't leave a barn in under an hour - - it's not happening.
Some of the more interesting things that take place at the barn can't really be recorded in writing otherwise we'd all be in trouble, but we can report that we have poop parties where we dig our arms in elbow high once the manure is on the trailer, and we toss around a few pounds of good healthy horse poop. It's sort of like dodge ball, but not really - - I mean, you dodge obviously, and there is screaming involved....lots of screaming usually. Did I mention we have a really good time at the barn? Since our barn is open to us 24/7 we've been known to show up in the middle of the night and have a cookout. We've had pajama parties, nothing inappropriate mind you. We've had Pyrate Nite at the barn, and we'll do that again. There is of course horseback riding going on, but not usually in the middle of the night as the horses are cognitive of what time it is and they give you that "FACE" that lets you know it's not a good time....come back after the roosters crow! Come back AFTER breakfast.
Most of the time the barn is a sanctuary where we can breathe in good hearty air full of rustic wood chips, stinky mounds of poop, horse sweat, grain, and the occasional dead rodent or possum that got stuck between the walls. (This may surprise you, but I do know the distinct difference in the smell(s) of a dead raccoon vs a dead possum.) Most of the time you can count on friends showing up or already being there when you arrive, and there's someone to go riding with. If you don't feel like riding if your horse doesn't feel like being ridden, or if the weather just isn't cooperating, you can still groom the animals, clean the stalls, rake the arena, mend something that somehow came undone, and you can ALWAYS find something that needs attention at a barn...even if it's just the cats. Attention will be paid.
Yeah, give me the barn. Give me the smell. Give me the sweaty back of a rugged stead every day, call it heaven. Nothing -- and I do mean NOTHING smells like a horse. Prove me wrong.
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