I'm Not For Everyone!

 You know, it goes without saying...but I'll say it; I'm not for everyone. I get that, in fact, I hear that more often than not.  I've literally had people look me in the eyes and say "Oh my goodness, you're just out there! You're .... not for everyone, are you?"  The simple answer is "No, I am not."  Then again, if you think about it, who would really be for anyone? HOW BORING would the person need to be in order to be suitable for every last one of us? This can't even be a possibility really, because I'm part of that "everyone" and I certainly wouldn't want to end up with a blase beige of an individual who could neither find it in themselves to have an opinion or to challenge mine. Nope, I'm not for everyone, and this is where I say "Thank you, Jesus."

I've written a book that I will publish soon enough titled "I'm the Only Me I Could Ever Be". I think there's a quaint crop of it here in a blog somewhere, in fact, all of my blogs should give you a bit of insight as to exactly what sort of crazy, wonky, nutter, space case I really am - - or am I? The terms could be reversed you know; I could be "clever as a fox" or even "feigning as a possum"; you've seen fainting goats haven't you? Maybe I'm a fainting goat just waiting for you to walk by so I don't have to deal with you - - ever thought of that? The truth is, we are all 100% perfectly made both in the image of God and in His perfect plan. I am me, you are you, we are we, and we are .... well, all together.  

I was not given the gift of music but I do in fact, never go an hour without it. I'll either hum something to myself, play an LP, turn on Pandora, make-believe I'm a rock star, and belt something out, but there will be music -- but I don't have that enormously gracious gift that God has chosen to give to others. I can't tabulate, I don't even know what a tab is, and I certainly can't expect my fingers to cooperate when my brain is wondering where to put them on the neck of a guitar - - but I do own a couple of really cool guitars. Maybe I'm thinking I'll someday learn, maybe I'm thinking I'll just hold them and dream I'm able to play. Maybe I'm just thanking God for those who actually do have this talent. I know I appreciate it.

I, instead of music, have been given the gift of discernment. I've talked about it before, but it has actually been getting in the way lately - - the only way I can compare it to show you what I'm talking about is to use an over exaggerated example of this:  My discernment has been in overdrive lately, and it gets noticed, much like it would be noticed if Eddie Van Halen (rest in peace) were to stand on Aisle 9 at Walmart and start blasting out riffs all too familiar to some, hideous to others, and quite confusing to most! I've been waking up thinking things, going to bed thinking things, minding my own business thinking things, and then when I'm not thinking things I wonder why I'm not thinking those things and how I could be affecting those who I'm constantly thinking of.  If you were Eddie and you were playing your guitar 24/7 at a relatively loud level of volume, you MAY begin to understand how I'm feeling right now; I love the music - - thoughts, but is it really necessary?

To give you another example, I was hosting my friend the other day at home, we were just having coffee and I asked her if she always wore socks with holes in them or if this was a new fashion statement.  Her toes were securely inside her shoes, and she hadn't taken them off, so she stared at me and asked how I knew she had a hole in the big toe of her sock? I don't know the answer to that. I don't know how I know a thing, why I know things, or even if there is a reason for some of the things I am aware of - - it just happens and I can (often do) end up blurting something out of my mouth (or keyboard) without thinking how the other person is going to take it - - it's not easy to take, I'm sure. 

It doesn't stop with socks. I know when people in front of me at the store have just gone through a family trauma; God tells me in ways you can see as well, but I end up paying attention. Body language, eye contact, lack of eye contact, subtle moves, and noises people make. Often times it comes to what they don't say when they typically say things, or what they don't mention on a podcast when they used to mention it, or more blatantly when they are flat out asked and they avoid the question entirely. Yeah, I noticed. 

Having a medical doctor in the family would be a really good thing right? That person could help you diagnose issues of your physical body, maybe make a few suggestions to help you feel better. Maybe having a mechanic in the family would be useful? Can you see where I'm going with this particular analogy? Having someone with the ability to see, hear, feel, smell, even taste your anxiety, your depression, your hurting, your needs would be...I don't know -- GOOD!  But I often overstep myself and ask questions so penetrating from a place others think is being forward or intrusive, but in my heart and in my soul the question is both needed and warranted. I have the answers. I really do. I am so very very grounded in my walk with Christ that I absolutely understand what a person who is suffering needs to do - - unfortunately, most of the time, these people who do suffer from these ailments see me as being blunt, forceful, again I'll say intrusive when my actual intention is love, just simple old-fashioned understanding, and love. For some, even mentioning the "L" word is intrusive. If they only knew how powerful LOVE really is.

Love is all.  I think the Hebrew language has many variations on the word "love", different words for the one word we Americans use and that's a good thing. Instead of simply saying "I love you", we could be using a more accurate and precise word such as "I really want you to understand that the feeling you're having is normal, and we have all had it. If you care to follow a few simple exercises you can get over the anxiety for now, and work on a way to keep it at bay."  That's how precise some of the words for "Love" are in that beautiful language.  We are deprived when it comes to the true essence of the word - - we are misunderstood. Because we are labeled as aggressive, (stalking) or invasive, we are also labeled as an outcast for trying or having the audacity to believe we have the right to CARE! 

Well, I'm not going to lament over this issue. I know the Truth.  God, Jesus Christ is the TRUTH, and He made me who and exactly who I am. He has given me both talent and strengths that I will forever use to honor Him, not to hurt you or anyone else - - my prayer today would not be to belt out a few chords and rock out to "JUMP" in the middle of the candy aisle, but to stand firm knowing I will be here if you need me. I will listen if you speak. I will cherish your thoughts as if God had gifted me with them, and I will pray with and for you - - like music, prayer heals.  Let go, let God. 

If I can help you, (and I mean this) let me. It's tantamount to you singing a song for someone or painting a seascape - - I can't paint either.  Nope. I can't. I suck! LOL.