You wake up, you realize that things aren't going your way - maybe a few (OK, a lot) of people lied about future investments, endorsements, projects - - OK..let it go.
Letting go just has to be the best thing in the world. I will admit, I did actually blog about it first. I put my foot right in my mouth, spun it around, and promptly stuck it right back where it could do the most damage; probably to me. I don't care if I offended the liars, that doesn't bother me, what may or may not eventually bother me if I offended someone who really did think I was the sweet lady down the road that had the patience, love, and understanding to raise a little dog to stand upright. I did actually do that, but not for profit. I did it for Faith! She needed to stand up.
Anyway - today I let it out. Today I let go. I just ripped open a few backsides and yes, it felt good to get the mouth running, the fingers flying, and hey - if I'm writing with those fingers I can't put them in the air and sound off silently can I? I use the written word for that. I don't think anything happened to me that a little prayer, a lot of chocolate, and maybe just a couple of glasses of wine (and whine) won't help. I'm going to be just fine. I always am. Sometimes I can be as fierce as a pit bull, but most of the time, I'm like a damn cat - landing on my feet. They get sore from all the falling, but I'll be OK. God takes great care of me.
One of the reasons you won't read the mean, nasty blog I wrote on my opinion's site is because it wasn't intended to be humorous. I wanted the schmucks who have been lying to me, teasing me, bringing me out on false pretences and then reneging to know exactly how I felt. I remember one of these guys - a real Hollywood type (lived there and everything) brought me to a fine restaurant just outside my hotel last winter. He bought me lunch and talked on and on about how he would be getting with Lifetime and/or Hallmark to do the book adaptation to a feature about my dog, about my family's life - heartwarming he said, breaking the barriers of compassion, fear, work, hard beliefs, ethics and morals being put into play - the whole shebang right? Well, where is this guy? He hasn't called back. He doesn't answer my e-mails. There's the agent in Hollywood that swore she wanted to work with me...oh, it been nearly 15 months now...nothing!
I guess I'm OK without Hollywood knocking, but like I tell my brats - my kids: Tell me the truth no matter how ugly it is, but don't you dare lie to me. I can't deal with a lie -it's too hard to pin down! You have to unravel it, find the base, find the original tale and go backwards trying to find out all the lies inside of it. Just tell me the truth. If you have no intention of promoting me say so. I don't need you - I'm OK on my own, I'll just take God and we'll do this thing. I mean after all, He made Faith - wait, He made the idiots too, maybe I'll just sic God on their butts and be done with it. (She closes her eyes and imagines the carnage of an Almighty God pouring His wrath over the heads of the foul-doers who have lied to His faithful child!) LOL...sort of like Indiana Jones and the Ark huh? MELTING FACES!!!
Anyway - I let it go. I just had to. I didn't want to bitch about it anymore, and I didn't want to talk to people who wanted to bring me and my dog Faith out to watch her dance and do circles on their little beach stage for their show. "Don't talk about the movie, don't talk about the book. We just want Faith to walk around, maybe do a few circles because the stage is sort of small. Can she play with the children? We just want her to be happy and play with the children. Can she do that?" I just snapped. My dog is not a puppet!
The sun is out, the dogs are sleeping in it. They look happy and content just to be dogs, and Faith too. I think I'll dress her up and take her to the nearest VA hospital where she can do what she does - make people smile. She doesn't have to perform there, she doesn't have to walk in circles, and there's no need for me to discuss my future with these guys - they gave up their past for me. I love them. I'm just going to pray about it again, wait and see what happens, let another day come and roll over me....and you know what, maybe meet a new friend along the way.