Monday, June 25, 2007


It's funny. I pick up a book about Astrology and find that I'm no longer a Scorpio - much like the planet Pluto is no longer a planet - too damn bad, after 45 years of being who I was when I was born, I have no intention of accepting the Archer's bow as my sign - I am the killer insect, thank you. Some of the newer books claim that November 21 is the last day of Scorpio - don't turn your back too soon. The books are wrong!

Born at 2:56 p.m. on the afternoon of November 22, 1961, I literally was born 4 minutes before the cut off of the great Western horoscope zodiac sign of Scorpio - but I am a Scorpio. Don't fool yourself, never try to outwit, outplay, or outdo me - you'll find my pyrate's smile to be somewhat flattering as I nod your way, pretending to allow you to pass unscathed - you won't pass at all, not without being stung first. I don't say that because I'm vicious, mean, nasty, outrageous, or evil - I say that because it is my very nature, down to my core, to be first - I push myself, I don't need anyone else to do it for me. I have this thing about losing, I don't do it well. I don't play chess - I devour. Therefore, I choose most often not to play anyone - except my son, because he's so tender - irresistible, and if he's foolish enough to ask me to sit across from him - I will stomp his heart out - and then buy him ice cream. I think the boy just probably likes his ice cream, and being the Aries that he is, he doesn't mind running fully into a hornet's nest to get it.

Scorpio just suits me. OK, you're not into it, but I am to a degree - I wasn't, not until I began studying it in college, and found that not only do I fit the mold perfectly for what the Zodiac calls the 3rd Scorpio, those born at the end of the time period reserved for the sign, I am also the epitome of the sign's femme fatale when it comes to getting exactly what I want, when I want it, because I want it, and the good thing is - I'll make you think and feel that it was your idea! Don't worry, I'm actually quite tame - when left alone. As a partner I find it absolutely imperative that my partner be as loyal, and as monogamous as I am - which if you had to rate it on a scale of 1-100 you had BETTER not be less than a 99, because I'm not about to cheat, and I'm not about to give in, and I'm not about to stop loving, caring, caressing, dancing, smiling, or making love at all hours of the clock, so you should know that you will be expected to return each and every ounce of devotion that I conjure up for you...but then again, I've been celibate for over 8 years - care to guess why? I haven't found anyone who would be willing to be as faithful as I would be - so I've just kept it simple - I'm with me!

Because so many legends and rumours fly over the internet and in books about the mystery of the Scorpio woman, her allure, her luster, her decision to become powerful, her will to stay at the top always - you would do well to read a few sections online before taking her on as your lover or even as your friend. Jeannie (my best friend) has been my best friend for almost 30 years and there's a reason for that - she's never stop loving me. She and I are both water signs, she being the nurturing of the two of us - she can tell you that I piss her off more often than not, but my will to survive and my devotion to her as a friend will always outscore the alternative. My other two best friends were both Scorpio women, make that three - and my best boy/friend, he was a Cancer, another watersign. Without exception, the Scorpio woman simply must be the hardest woman to get to know - but if SHE accepts you, (friend, lover, companion) you will be loved fully, always, and without ceasing - in fact, you may become so loved that you can't see straight, or breathe again on your own. Be very careful what you wish for.

There is a flip side - Scorpios, (and I am NO exception) will not forgive easily - not forget ever. You've heard that saying "Hell hath no fury than as a woman scorned" - it was written because of a Scorpio woman - and it is most actuate. There should be another saying, another proverb written for the Scorpio woman for when she chooses to love - that would be: "Eternity holds no time to that of a Scorpio woman's patience" we will wait - we will, and we're usually the one in the corner, wearing something slinky, something black, something just a little - interesting. Don't stare long, once your gaze is caught it's a lot like Hotel California - You can check out any time you like, but with a Scorpio woman, you can never leave.

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