With willpower the strength and size of Mt. Rushmore, I have always been able to do exactly what I have challenged myself to do, but then there comes that moment when I no longer have the intention of doing it, and there it goes! Plunk! I'm talking about my weight. I have been struggling with it for years, and I have been both battling it and living with it for years. I'm not obese, but I am so not fit. I am not even going for "thin", I'm going for "fit" or "healthy". I guess, in real terms I'm still considered "healthy" but then people like to add that incredulous end of the sentence "for your age". FUCK THAT...sorry, did I say that too loudly? I meant to whisper it under my breath.
What I'm talking about is the way I've gained back nearly every pound I lost last year or the year before, I can't remember, but I do know that the size Medium t-shirts that I have been rotating back into my dresser (I have too many t-shirts) don't fit! I have to continue wearing size large, and no, that doesn't make me happy. I have about 20 pairs of leggings that I wore two years ago and this year for summer wear, as well as shorts, again, medium, but not now! Nope! I won't even think about it because I don't want to come off being that gal with the two bulldogs in her back pockets who seem to be fighting one another. It's not going to happen. I'm going to have to do some real exercise again. You have to. You can't let it slack off, because when you do, you get the meat packed on again. I do, anyway.
There are so many videos out there claiming that you don't need to do cardio to stay fit. Sorry, not listening to them. When I stop working out, I get fat. It's a simple thing, really. I have never been a gym rat, but I do believe in keeping it all moving. I can do wall pilates, and I can do floor and bed yoga to stretch. Bed yoga is amazing, you can really dig deep into the mattress to unhinge the hips. Watch a few YouTube videos on that one. Doga is good, that's when you do your floor yoga but a dog finds you and decides to help. I do that as often as possible. I used to have a Bassett Hound at my disposal, and I could bend over, lift 50 pounds, move it, and repeat that particular move over and over again. Ginger is only 17 pounds, so there's the lighter version of that now.
For the most part, the diet will consist of just the good stuff and all the "white" stuff will no longer be allowed into the shopping cart with the exception (there are always exceptions) of mozzarella cheese, cauliflower, and Greek yogurt for sure. I'm thinking there may be other whites that find their way to my house, I don't live alone. I'm the one in charge of buying MY groceries. I have no one else to blame when I pick up Grands biscuits, rolls, potatoes, pasta, bread, and sweet things such as cakes or cookies. Not now. That ends. I have to let my gut know who's in charge, and right now, today, as of this moment, the controller is in my hands, not my gut's hands - - which would be really weird if my gut had hands.
Why now? Well, it had to do with picking out a T-shirt today and putting the leggings back into the drawer. Then, after consideration, I realized that for the next month or so I won't be wearing the leggings, so I put them back into the closet in the box from whence I brought them out to be reintroduced. I rotate my clothes so that I can actually use them all; since I paid good money for them. However, NOT NOW, because I won't be that woman who wears too tight of clothing out in public. Maybe others will be, but I am not them. I am me. I don't do it, so that's the reason. I simply can't stand the feeling of being over the limit.
My good friend Robin and I have also made a plan (or twelve) to visit Scotland late in the summer of 2024; so that we can have an entire year to both get our bodies in shape as well as our finances. We don't want to make a meager thing of it. We want to do the thing right. I don't think she's been to Scotland; she's been to other parts of Europe that I've not been to, but this will be my chance to be her tour guide. I think after 57 years of being good friends she'll let me take the reins. Speaking of reins, she is a horsewoman as I am, but she still owns about 10. She may have to rethink that as well. We're just getting to the age where we may want more freedom so we can travel about, and be able to plan for when we're not working full time. Horses have a way of eating up (literally) every spare penny you can muster up for them.
I share a flat with my daughter, so I can't very well go into the fridge and start pulling things out of it; but I won't buy anything that will not be beneficial for me either. If she wants to buy it she can, and she can even keep it in her room unless it has to be refrigerated, of course. She's really good about not shoving things in my face when I need to diet. Good kid, that she is. I raised her correctly. Actually, the Kudos go to God, He was there the entire time. She's also getting back into better shape as well. It's what we do after we realize we've been slacking off a bit. Neither she nor I don bathing suits to go swimming, so it's not that. We just either don't fit in our favorite shorts, or we see ourselves when we stand to the side in the mirror and do that audible gasping thing where we freak out over the sight of ourselves! Do you ever do that? Let me just say, it's not fun.
I don't think I'll do the whole recording of what I eat online this time. I will continue to write it down in a notebook at home and be as diligent as I possibly can be. I substitute nuts and seeds for candy; substitute lemon water for fizzy water, which in itself isn't bad, but I think maybe it's slowing the process somehow. I could be wrong. I may be wrong, but I know straight water with lemon or lime is better, so we're going with that. I drink about 100 ounces of water a day. I also take what I call "poopy pills", but it's just psyllium husk pills. Good stuff. They work.
I don't have a scale to weigh myself. I don't do numbers really. I do sizes and feelings. If I look in the mirror and gasp, or if I find myself NOT looking in the mirror intentionally, I know I have to do something. It is what it is. You may or may not agree with me. That's OK, I'm not here to please anyone. I'm not here to agree with anyone. I'm not here to give advice to anyone. I'm just writing out my plan and my life events so when my grandkids decide to read these things later in their lives they'll know why Gramma said no to the ice cream but yes to the grapes. They can have ice cream, there's no way I'm saying no to that...as long as they run around like crazies afterward...which they do.
Viva la future me!! I'll keep you posted.
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