We have had it drilled into our heads since we were very young not to toot our own horns. There's something to be said about it, sure, but there's also something to be known about knowing your own value. I heard someone say once that if you don't know your value, you shouldn't expect anyone else to calculate it for you. They may know you're pretty cool, adequate, or even in most cases, better than average, but if you don't believe you are what you know you can be, then you have no one but yourself to blame when you constantly accept those insults that tend to cut you into pieces. Water on a duck's back, folks; let it go.
Today, I was turned down for yet another position where the company had advertised that they wanted someone with experience, know-how, and the ability to command a team; that's me in a nutshell, but they also wanted someone younger and yeah, if I was absolutely honest about it, they thought my name "Jude" belonged to a man. When I met the recruiter face-to-face, the first thing she mentioned was, "Oh, I thought you would be a man." I asked if that was a problem, and she stated that the company was more male-centric. Her word. Male-centric. Is that even legal? No, it's not, but it happens.
So, where I wasn't surprised that I wasn't offered the position, I didn't let them cut me down or use redundant paraphrases that have been near extinct since the mid-'90s. Words like "We're going in another direction" or "We were lucky enough to have several people with great qualities and experiences..." that's when you know they're lying. Most of us who have the experience, knowledge, skillsets, and qualities they're looking for are still employed. The wage they were offering didn't exactly scream "Career Change"; no one making that amount would leave, and anyone making more would never have even applied. Shouldn't people be more honest about it? Oh wait...they can't be. They're not allowed to say, "You know, you're sixty, so...we think we'll pass." The joke's on you.
The average executive or manager these days who have had a few life experiences stays with a company for between three and five years. Four years is the average, folks. They spend time and money advertising the position. They spend time interviewing, vetting, then training. If they don't have the money to pay the current employee what he or she deserves, they don't have the money budgeted to replace them either. That takes time, effort, and a host of other unbudgeted costs.
Another thing. Companies like to interview and then take weeks to decide if they'll actually fill a position, hoping against hope that while they're waiting for upper management to make a decision, their worthy candidate isn't offered another position. It happens. I interviewed two weeks ago and hadn't heard a peep from the manager; I gave them a call. I let them know I appreciated the opportunity to meet with them and to hear about the opening. The response I received was vague, basically thanking me for my time and wishing me good luck in the future. OK, but the guy you just made the offer to called me about five minutes ago and said he grew tired of waiting on you and went in another direction! (He was my former student and thought I deserved to hear what they said about me during his interview.)
If they call me tomorrow, I'll let them wait two weeks before I make my decision. I'm not in any hurry to work outside of my house. If I can find employment remotely, that's my jam. I'm not dying on the vine, and they need to realize that we old folks have value and worth; we have the stamina and the ethics to be better employees. We were raised on stick-to-itness, and we often choose to work overtime without pay just to be sure we did the job correctly or that all the details are covered before we head home. Vintage employees are full, chock full of knowledge, been-there-done-that moments, and we don't always fall apart or throw out the baby with the bathwater. We fix things. We pull up our bootstraps, and we make things happen. We didn't get those trophies for showing up; we earned ours. (Then we put them in the drawer, not on a shelf to be seen or bragged about.)
Yeah, it was a different time. It was hard. It was full of need-to-change, so we made that happen too. We have worth. I have worth. I know I do. I don't have to wait for someone to tell me how great I am. I don't even want to hear it. I don't want someone talking smack about me, and I don't want someone falling at my heels to follow in my big footprints, either. No one, not in a professional or personal relationship, is going to reveal something about me that I didn't already know about myself. I am me, and I have enormous value. It didn't come all at once, nor did it come without pain, suffering, and heartache. I worked for my credentials. I forged my way. If someone doesn't have the insight to consider me a part of their team - - I'm not part of their team. I can find one that doesn't need an adjustment to see what's standing right in front of them.
I don't fit in many boxes; that's true. I am out there; I am contained. I am self-proficient, and I am self-motivated and driven. I don't need a rah-rah committee to boost my ego or tell me that "we're all in this together"; another term that only works when THEY want something. I'm who I am, and I won't change. You wouldn't need or want me to change. If I chose to change, I wouldn't be the one you could depend on, would I? I am who I am, and that's enough. God is to be praised. He made me.
Photo Credit: Redbubble.com
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