You know how you get really old and start to hash up old crap in your mind and in your past that means absolutely nothing, but there you are festering over it? Does that ever happen to you, or is it just me being weird? I think I'm odd, sure, I get that, but I don't think I'm alone in this one. I recently dug up an old (and I do mean old) memory from way way back in the past when I was in the 6th grade, maybe about to go into the 6th grade. I wanted to be in Band class and my parents were OK with it, but instead of allowing me to pick the instrument of my choice, I was forced to use and learn to play the flute because we already owned one. My sister was in Band when she was my age, and she's only 3 years older, so the flute was not being used as my parents had hoped it would be. I got the flute. I didn't want the flute, but I got it anyway. (the appropriate answer would have been, and should have been, "Thank you", but I assure you, I was not mature enough to do that.)
I wanted to play the saxophone. I wasn't really into the Alto or the Tenor sax, no, I wanted the Soprano sax or the C-Sax. It was a golden clarinet to be sure, and I thought I just had to have one. I know I begged, but it didn't make that much of a difference. The flute was already in its case in my house and if I wanted to be in Band class, well, the flute it is! OK fine. I put away my dreams of being the next really cool jazz saxophonist and yes, I know that's not a word. I set aside my dreams of dancing to the honking of my precious metallic magic wand, and I dealt the blow I was given. To say I was good at playing the flute would not only be an enormous lie, but it would also be rather humorous as well. I barely scraped by Band class; making C's mostly, and I think there was that time when my director came into the room while I was recording my try-out and he just stopped the recording and told me to go home and practice somewhere that he couldn't hear me.
To say that I sucked at playing the flute would be closer to accurate, but not entirely true, if the song I was playing made sense to my fingers and my brain at the same time, I could actually pull it off to the point that I didn't blow very hard and make too much noise, I could drown whatever I was doing in with and mix it into whatever all the others were doing. I was less than a number at that point, but still probably dead last in the lineup. I don't think I was challenged because I don't think I was happy, and if someone isn't thrilled about something they tend to be rather blase about it. That's my memory of what I was thinking back in the early part of my teens when way too many other things were at the forefront of my brain. Being in Band was good for two reasons. I was able to stare across the room at David Lombard, and I was able to sit next to Becky Hodges; she was the Oboe player, and the last flute sat next to her. She was shy and I liked her. She made me laugh (David made me smile).
For no reason whatsoever, and I really do mean that I was looking up cheap C-Saxophones on Amazon thinking I could get a really really cheap one and just sort of practice it, and then maybe if I thought I had earned the right to get a real one, I could do that and....you know the drill. The older we get the more challenged we are to overcome some of the past walls that we built or allowed to be built in our memories. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. I wanted to be who I wanted to be. I was really upset that I was forced to be something I didn't want. I didn't hate it, I wasn't against it, I just didn't really want it. I wanted the damn saxophone! Well, while on Amazon I ran across something called the Xaphoon. What? Crazy, right? Yeah, it is, and it's a real thing, not just a plastic blow torch. It has a reed. It has a real saxophone reed!
Keep in mind, these cheap little instruments are not made to be professionally used and I do completely understand that the one I bought for myself is nothing more than a plastic blow torch with a reed rather than just a mouthpiece. It may or may not do the trick, but it's a step in the direction of directing my journey from being able to make sounds the way I wanted to make sounds, versus making noise that I don't care to make. I am about to find out. It will be delivered today. I am not expecting Kenny G-style success, but I'll take a proper G now and again, and if I hit the notes I'm supposed to be hitting I'll both feel it and I will say YES to the next level of Xaphoons; maybe even a real golden clarinet. However, now that the people making band instruments are into making them with bright and amazing colors, I don't know that I'll accept a golden rod at this point! I may do pink! I may be persuaded to get a purple C-Sax. I can!! (and it's because I can that I may)
If you've not heard the tones that the Xaphoon makes (or if you have no idea what one is) you can find it easily at www.xaphoon.com and you can both listen and fall in love at the same time. I was flat surprised at the depth and the mellow sounds being made by the experts. I just hope I don't shame every one of them by honking at it the way I may end up sounding until I relax and get the hang of it. There was a really fun guy online that gave demonstrations. I'll post his video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFIwl4Gnsmc&t=2s He's fun. M Benson Music is his channel. I don't know his story, but he absolutely reminds me of my young Band teacher Mr. Joe Ray, a man of great patience and timing. I think I learned more from Mr. Ray about the way you throw your arms when you conduct than I ever did about playing the flute, but that's because he had a mean eyeball-popping stare that he sort of reserved for me. I don't remember him using it with too many others. I was always on the watch for it to see if I was necessarily singled out and I think he probably begged my parents to disenroll me, but they refused, stating it was his job to teach me something. If that's the case, he'll receive an extra crown in Heaven because that man was a saint! I didn't have the knowledge of such things then - - but he was and is a miracle maker!
So the Xaphoon arrives very soon and I'll keep you posted on the progress. I'll end up making a video this time next year to give the full report, but until then, I encourage and challenge every one of you to get out there and uncover the memories that held you back as a kid so you can forge your own way through the muck and make the music happen! Literally, in my case.
Photo Credit: www.xaphoon.com
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