I don't know if you do it or not, but I get these wild hairs up my butt and I decide to do things that make little to no sense whatsoever. This past week or so I wasn't feeling well, and that may have had something to do with the decision I made to buy myself a cute little reed instrument called a Xaphoon; I have no idea. I really don't know what it was that made me think I needed one. I was thinking about how it was that I was forced as an 11-year-old to play the flute in Band class because my parents didn't or wouldn't consider buying me a saxophone. Then, the next thing I know, I've decided to buy my own reeded instrument and then fake it til I make it, I suppose. Well, that lasted about 2 days. I consider that to be a sad thing really, I would have thought I could have stuck it out for a least a week. Nope.
Amazon has absolutely spoiled me. I buy the yearly subscription to Prime delivery, so I get anything and everything offered for free delivery, and there I am, literally ordering things to the tune of one or two things a day. I think maybe I should stop the practice, I shouldn't be so spoiled, but then the thought occurs to me that if Amazon didn't want to do this, they wouldn't have offered it. I paid, and they deliver, it's a really cool thing. The dog lets me know when the Amazon truck is downstairs, and it's not just for me. My neighbors and I both order things at least 3 or 4 times each week, and we often bring each other's packages to their respective door(s). We even try to guess what the other person has purchased. Let me tell you, they had NO clue whatsoever that the Xaphoon was in that box! Who would think that?
When it arrived I was super happy. I thought this is it, I'm going to open the box, put it together, and start the fun! That is NOT what happened. I did open the box, I did put it together, and nothing, nothing at all happened. I couldn't push air out my mouth in the manner of which was required, and it didn't matter how many YouTube videos I watched, it was NOT going to happen. I was quietly cussing at myself, but all the while I was saying things like "There has to be another way, I'm doing this wrong!" I was doing it incorrectly, but I couldn't force my mouth to do what is required and I couldn't even make the dang thing honk! NOTHING! More videos. More practice. More thinking. Less thinking. Nothing.
Then, out of absolute sheer frustration, I ordered another instrument. This one was a Scottish whistle, which if I had to be honest, I never knew it was called that. We just called them long whistles when I was a kid. There it was, delivered by Amazon the next day, and get this, it was rubbish! It made noise alright, it made a great deal of noise. The tin instrument was cheap, yes, I understand that, but it was so base and so lousy at being a true musical instrument. Even if I had been the best whistler in the world (Not me) I couldn't have made this thing perform the way it should if you want it to sound like anything other than what it was; trash. They both went back today. They were both unceremoniously returned to Amazon for a full refund! I don't even hate myself like I thought I would. I am not really even disappointed with myself. I play the flute, I can just work on that.
I did buy a book to retrain myself on how to read music. I do think I need that. I can't remember a thing from when I was a kid. I just remember faking the entire four years of Band, and pretending to be playing, when I was really just mixing in a note here and there to be able to keep my seat. I only played 6-9 grades; something about having to actually read music and do solos kept me from advancing. When I say I sucked at it, I'm being too kind. I was the worst. I think maybe I let it happen and now I want to rectify that part of my soul. I want to do music and if that means I have to relearn it I will do that. I am more mature now, and it may actually be fun. I just have to do it with the flute, and get over my once obsession with the saxophone. Let it go!!
Amazon, Amazon! Such a First-World thing. I think about Prime and ask myself if I could live without it. I'm pretty sure I did for most of my life, so yeah, it would be difficult but I could do it. I literally ordered the shampoo and conditioner I wanted on Amazon because I didn't see it at the store and thought maybe Amazon would have it. They did. They had it, and it was a bit cheaper too! What the heck! I am too spoiled and I ask myself at least three times a week if I need to be so spoiled. Then I order something else and it's delivered the next day and I am smiling again. Wow, I am really quite shallow, or maybe I'm easily entertained. I'm not sure which. Maybe both.
I just found out that Amazon has their own brand name products as well, which is going to be tested. I don't mind store brands. I won't buy their coffee, not going to happen, but I will try other things that they make or lend their name to. We'll see. If I can think of something I'll let you know, but for now it is good to know that I'm capable of knowing I suck at the Xaphoon and the Scottish whistle apparently, and Amazon has my back on their return policy. I don't ever actually ask for a refund. I just keep it in the account. I'm going to order again, they know it, I know it. I sometimes have credit. I like that. I feel like it's a bonus or something when really it's just me taking things back. I'm not that person who takes everything back, but if it doesn't meet my expectations, it's going back. They don't charge me for the return, and that's another reason to love living right here in America. I can jump in my car, and drive the 1/2 mile to the UPS store to drop off the Amazon returns. So easy. So easy. Too easy. Thank you, Amazon.
Photo Credit: Amazon.com
No comments:
Post a Comment