I am not going to lie, I buy things sometimes just because I can. I also buy things because I want to, and there is (often) a difference. Some things that I buy are for good use; while others are just because I don't want to be inconvenienced or whatever it is that I'm buying will make my life easier and/or better. Don't (please don't) think I'm being arrogant or rude, I'm not. For a number of years, I was both unable to buy what I needed let alone what I wanted. I went through a good portion of Hell and back again over and over again. I went to "the wire" as I call it, where and when I couldn't possibly make ends meet even if I stood up and screamed to the Heavens. I was just dirt dirt poor and both owed money and couldn't make enough. These are the times I thank God because I grew to believe that there is NOTHING that can't be achieved through faith and through prayer. I was right. God was always there for me. Somehow I made it each and every time.
So now, having been through more wringers than is legal to have been subjected to, I am possibly one of the strongest women I have ever met in terms of sticking it out and doing so much with so little for so long. I have the ability to stretch a dollar to the point that it resembles a tightwire - and I walk it very very cautiously when I need to. There are other times when I say "Screw that" and I just plop the card down or I order something online (usually through Amazon) and I absolutely never regret my decision if I make it because I don't make the decision without knowing it's going to be OK. I think it out, I work it out, I plan it out, and I say yes to the whatever it is that I'm hoping will make me smile. Today, that was an expresso machine.
For the past however many months I've been telling myself that it will happen. I look at these machines, research, read, study, and do the due diligence, then I always find some reason to say no. I just make up an excuse that usually involves something like "I could use the money another way" or "I don't have space on my cabinet for it". Both of these excuses are just that, excuses. I know I can make room, and I also know I don't owe anyone anything really, not anymore. I am on the upswing finally, after years of scraping and pulling myself up through credit building and paying payments on time! It is officially a good time for me, and Jesus is the reason. Without thinking about what needs to be done, and how to make it happen, I would be lost in a whirlpool of repeating poor decisions over and over again. Once I found a Bible-based method of how to set the budget and keep it, it was only a matter of time before it worked out in my favor, again, through practicing good decision-making, and not buying whatever I wanted when I wanted. I had bills to pay. I had food to buy. I have credit to clear. It wasn't easy, and yes, it took YEARS to achieve. Nothing you can achieve quickly feels as rewarding as taking your time to make sure you do it correctly. Credit is no different.
Today, because I can, and because I found the best deal ever, I decided to make room on my kitchen cabinet for a new espresso machine. When I say it was the best deal ever, I mean it. This particular machine isn't as popular as others, but it does have a solid reputation. It was already on sale, and because I had a credit with Amazon, it was literally one-third the price of a new machine. WOW! Now, my daughter Laura, who served as a real-life Starbucks barista for years, will train me on how to make every espresso drink I've ever loved and dreamed of making. She used to bring me free bags of coffee, and every night I picked her up or when I dropped her off, she would make me a gorgeous drink. I was too too too spoiled, and I miss that.
When I was in my youth (before Starbucks) I only drank strong coffee. I had no idea what espresso was, and I didn't know what I was missing. After the whole Americano rut that I found myself in, I was really excited to find out a person could drink a four-shot cappuccino and still live to talk about it. I think I'll cut that in half and pour a copious amount of wet froth on top now. I'm not really into flying at the break of dawn and landing on my backside after I've been a bit overconfident. I think I'll rein it in, and maybe try to at least act half my age. I have responsibilities still and yeah, getting too high on bean juice could prove unsettling. At least I know that I will be downing something with caramel and/or chocolate on a regular basis before heading off to work. I don't even care if I have to get up and out of bed a full five minutes earlier to compensate for the time it takes to brew. I will make that happen.
My big beautiful machine arrives tomorrow and you know I'll be standing outside the door waiting on the Amazon man and his beautiful smiling truck! He comes to my place just about every day to drop off something I can't possibly live without; I find it easier to order it than to try to remember what it was that I wanted or needed and then try to fight traffic, store traffic, lines, and supply chains. Nope, if I can save time, money, effort, and energy, and just wait on the Amazon man, I'm doing that. Why not? It's there, it's available, and I'm not putting myself or anyone else in danger. I make planned and calculated purchases. I just need to start making them at the same time instead of on a daily basis.
We don't have an Amazon woman on this route. I am positive they are around, but he's been my delivery man for over two years and he even tries to guess what it is that I bought. He's rarely right. I think he does that just to make us all laugh. My neighbors are outside waiting with me. They order stuff too. I know what you're thinking; "Jude, you're way too spoiled" and you'd be right. I am. When I was a kid and all the way through my early adult life, there was NO WAY I could have dreamed of ordering anything over the phone or through the mail and expecting it to be delivered to my house in one day for no extra cost. I'm absolutely 100% positively over-the-top spoiled, and God bless America!
Happy coffee people!!
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