Why I Don't Go to the Gym to Workout.

 I really have to watch myself because I can become rather heated about this particular subject matter. I've been so vague and so round-aboutish about some of the (main) reasons I don't go to the gym to work out, and I need to stop that. I need to be honest. I need to tell the full truth, not just part of it. I need to just be blunt and on point.  I will be equally honest and say that a bit down the road Laura and I may end up joining again, but it's OK because I'll have her to stand with and to work out with, so that some of the things that happen to me when I go solo, don't and/or won't happen.  I say don't and/or won't because some don't happen if she's there, and some things won't, or would never happen since she is there. I'll explain.

    My gym, the YMCA, is right across the street from where I live. I can literally walk right there, and work out from 5:30 a.m. to about 8:00 p.m. on most days. The problem is that they close at noon on Saturday and they're not open on Sunday. I usually use this as an excuse to stop working out at that particular gym, and heaven itself knows I'm far too spoiled to be inconvenienced to get in my car and drive to another location. It's not going to happen as long as I have what I need at home. (If that sounds cheeky, I'm actually being cheeky.)

    Laura being with me will not change the operation hours of the YMCA, but what it will change is (are) some of the other excuses that I typically don't talk about.  One excuse and I have mentioned it, is that some of the equipment that I use is often down or broken, sometimes they just replace it with something I won't use, but that others will possibly use. I hate that. So, Laura being with me won't have an effect on that either.  What she can do for me is ward off the would-be flirtmasters who tend to creep up and wait for me to get off a machine, but they aren't really waiting to use it, they watch me. They don't even hide it. They just stand there and stare. Some even smile and wave. It's annoying and I don't care how fun I must be to someone trying to strike up a friendship, I am NOT THERE to chat, talk, converse, flirt, date, or otherwise be interested in any part of a conversation with anyone. I'm there to work out and that's it. So, Laura being there provides another line of defense. You have never laughed so hard as you will or would to see my 33-year-old daughter turn into an imaginary hulk-woman and seemingly stalk toward someone who she deems to be a bother to me. She'll even begin to growl. I love it. I'm sorry, I should be utterly humiliated and embarrassed but instead, I'm just so entertained.

    Aside from the creepers who approach me, I am also approached by trainers. This really upsets me because I'm there working out on my own, and it's VERY VERY clear that I have an earbud (or two) in my ears. I'm usually talking to my personal trainer on the phone while working out, but here they come, thinking I need assistance because my form or my method isn't what they are used to; it's not the way THEY instruct.  Go fish! I would say something else, but hey, let's try to remain calm.  I hate it because I'm not paying for their advice. I've not asked for it either. I'm not holding up a sign that reads "I need help".  I am literally there working out and not talking to anyone, you'd think they'd get the hint when I see them, nod my head to acknowledge them, and then quietly walk away from them. NOPE. They take that as a challenge to hunt me down and give me their PROFESSIONAL opinion. STUFF THAT, please, right up where the Sun don't shine! I have my trainer on speed dial and I listen to HIM, and that's not going to change.

    Laura is not my personal trainer, but my personal trainer is also her personal trainer, and often times he gives her the instructions and she'll pass them on to me when we're working side by side. Also, if she and I are working out together she's the one on the phone with our trainer because he's her brother, and she can cuss at him, call him names, and make him crazy, and it's more fun for everyone.  I know exactly what I'm doing because I'm doing exactly what I'm told to do. Laura is good for something else too.  She stops people from coming up to us and asking us if we're going to be using this or that machine. She gives them the hiss and I don't have to. She starts to sway back and forth and as she raises her arms into the air that's typically when they realize she's not really approachable. LOVE MY GIRL!

    We were members of an all women's club at one point and that was a HUGE mistake. Both of us were hit on nearly every damn time we walked through the doors. We complained about it, threatened legal action, and it was only when we actually did call our attorney to ask the firm to send a letter of cease and desist did the manager finally do something about the personal harassment. The men are nowhere near as rude, nowhere near as bold, and nowhere near as gross about their approach as those women were (are).  You'd think in 2022 people would be TOLERANT enough to understand that not everyone is into that sort of thing. No, I won't walk around in my birthday suit for you in the spa, stop asking! Don't pull on my towel, it wasn't funny the first 10 times, and it's not funny now!

    About a year ago I bought a vibration plate to use at home and it really helps to loosen up the hips and joints before you stretch. This is something every gym needs but not one gym actually has. I found it at my chiropractor's office. Amazing is just too tame of a word to use to describe it.  I have hand weights, bell weights, bar weights, elastic bands, weighted balls, jump ropes, battle ropes, and a few other things I can use to get myself into shape at home, so that's the reason(s) I don't really want to go across the street. I will add that the machines can't be replaced really. I love them. I wish I had a few. They are incredibly necessary to tone and get the true results I want. I can try to mimic them, but the truth is the gym has what I need and I will probably end up going back once I can talk Laura into body-guarding for me again. She may do it if I pay her membership!! (Hint, hint, if she's reading.)

    I know the gym can be a place to socially gather and talk. I get that and I would never once ever never stop someone from having that as a means to communicate with their buddy; no way.  I, however, have just as much right (and freedom) to go and NOT communicate with anyone. I'm not a shrew. It's not like I go in with a sourpuss face and refuse to speak to anyone, but I'm just the type to go in, work out, and listen to my Celtic rock a bit too loudly in my ears until my son calls me to do the drill, and when he does I'm all about doing what he's commanding; not into social butterflying at that point. NO, I don't want to join you for a spin class. No, I don't want to join you for hot yoga. No, I don't want to hang out in the hot tub and talk about drinking and whatever. I am just there to torture my glutes! Thank you.

    Wow, I really went off on that rant, huh? I did. I did because I'm fed up with it. I tried to make it happen about six different times. I keep thinking "Oh, OK, it will be different this time" but NOPE, it never is.  The hours suck, and the staff is FANTASTIC except for their persistence in trying to train me when I have no interest. The place couldn't be cleaner, it really is awesome. I love the heck out of the facility, but they do have to find a balance between using older equipment that is more suited for the aged and finding newer and more effective equipment for people who are wanting to actually build muscle.  I was told recently that they have undergone a bit of a face-lift and I need to revisit. I'll try it; but not if I can't bring my bulldog! (Laura)

    If for no other reason, I need Laura there to cheer me on when I suck at whatever it that I'm doing. She's not any better at it than I am, but together we make a great cheerleading squad!  We could motivate each other to the Moon and back! Woo Hoo!!  OK, I'll be nice and say goodnight, but you know what? I feel better now that I've blown off a little steam. It needed to be said.

Photo Credit: Bleedingcool.com

November Approaches!

 For a host of people, the day before Halloween means you put the final touches on your yard decorating and your scary drainage ditches in your neighborhood! I was laughing with a bit of surprise today when my friend showed me photos of how her neighbors put some cute and creepy killer-clown decorations inside the drainage ditches on her street! Don't get me wrong, I think it's hilarious, but you have to wonder if they'll lose their property either by fate or by the weather! It's cool though. I think Halloween has gotten out of hand really, but it's still a very visited and anticipated holiday. Can we even call it a holiday? The facts are clear that the next day, November 1, is the true holiday. It's All Saints Day! The word "Halloween" is a combination word, "Hallow" means to be revered, and the "ween" part is another word for evening, so Halloween is the evening of All Saints Day. Cool, huh?  It's also a Scottish thing, just in case you didn't know. Seriously, it is. Google that.

    NOVEMBER!!  Oh, I can't say enough about the month of November. Oh, it is MY month. I celebrate it from the tip of the top to the very last drop of the hour on the last of its days. I love the month, and because it is my birthday month, I typically end up spoiling myself just a wee bit more than I do most other months. You have to know I'm very very good to myself. If I want something, I find a way to get it. If I can't make it happen, I find a way to survive. Today, although not officially a November day, was close enough to the date to allow me the pleasures of going into Barnes & Noble to find a few books, and you know, look around. Who knows what one may find in that incredibly versatile store?  So many things to think about, so many things to look at. I ended up with a fancy picture cookbook; the type with huge pristine photos of the prepared foods on the right, and the recipe on the left. Just can't get enough of that; not in my heart anyway. I LOVE FOOD!!

    I also bought myself another tin of Harney & Sons teas. This one is Citron Green. Twenty sachets to a tin, and about $8.00, so not the worst price. I've seen them online twice for as much. I feel pretty good about it. I'm actually imbibing now, and I must be honest, it's worth about what I paid. It's not strong, but it is good. Greens don't tend to be overly powerful unless you're talking Gunpowder green, which is so very succulent and awesome....love it.  This tin will serve as a refillable tin, I will continue to buy replacements. I think I have 23 tins, but many I won't replace the blends for them. I either didn't like them enough, or they can't be found! It's rough trying to find Cherry Blossom! I made a HUGE mistake when I bought something like Vanilla Hysop, I can't remember the exact blend, but no. Just, NO.

    Basically, the way this works is I have been saving all year long from January to about October, and I have a little kitty of money reserved for me to buy myself whatever it is that I think I can't live without. I may end up buying something in July or March, but it comes out of that stash! I, therefore, know, that when or if I do use the reserve it will indeed take that money out of my spoiling fund. I could add to it I suppose, but I'm rather disciplined. I don't want to outdo myself or get to the point that I'm overly obnoxious or carefree. I mean, that would be...well, possible.

    I'm in the book-buying phase right now. I have been on Amazon and purchasing classics from Sir Walter Scott, Robert Louis Stevenson, Sir Arthur Conan, and other Edinburgh favorites.  I'm also thinking of buying either a Kindle or a Nook so I can physically carry the little book reader with me to work; most of the classics are actually free! What? Truth.  I'm OK with that. I just learned today, and I can't believe I never knew this, that after 97 years an author does not necessarily have the right to royalties. I had NO idea. This year the Mickey Mouse tales and/or images are going to become public domain! Wow! That's very interesting. Seriously, I did not know that. I suppose it makes sense though; it would be hard to give royalties for say, "A Christmas Carol" to the estate of Charles Dickens. I just never knew. The Barnes & Noble salesman told me as we discussed the benefits of buying a Nook over the Kindle; which is an Amazon product.

   With November also being a rather cool month, food (warm food) becomes so important to me. In the past, I've taken to going to Pinterest to find 20-25 dishes that I think I would like to make, but this year, today, I bought the picture cookbook, I'll post the photo here so you can see it. I'm going through it today, and making a list of all things wonderful which will be imitated, created, mimicked, and/or explored. I can all but guarantee you I will be adding to, taking away from, and altering things. I have mincemeat in a jar right now, waiting for the month of December, and you know I'm already thinking of adding cranberries and walnuts to it. I may even add a bit of orange flavoring. I can do that!! I can!! I might!! 

    I already purchased the espresso machine this month (October) and it did come out of the birthday kitty money, but it also came with an enormous discount and credit from Amazon because I had taken a few things back. Oh, and I have to send back the three books that I just bought because they are written in tiny tiny font! No, I'm not about to sit in my chair with my new Citron Green wearing my silly reader glasses, and STILL not be able to read the words. That, and the words are right on top of each other, basically no space whatsoever. That may work for some, but not this wordsmith. I don't worship words, but I do respect them. I can't believe someone would think it's OK to squish words of a classic in that manner. I should put my middle English on and really blast the hell of it, but instead, I'll just say "Tut-tut" and move on. Dummies.

    I think the Kindle or the Nook is the way to go because I can order 100 books really, and be done with it. The books are usually free for the most part because I'm talking OLD OLD books like well, Rob Roy, The Letters, Ivanhoe, all the Sherlock Holmes books, and Kenneth Grahame's The Reluctant Dragon.  Oh, and yes, Oscar Wilde. You can't have classics anything without including that man. It's not done. I was just not that happy at Barnes & Noble when I ventured to the Classics section and found it to be dismally small. They had one large bookshelf devoted to it. I wanted to buy standard-sized books from Scott and Stevenson that wasn't font size 10!  Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING was in stock for either of the men, and nothing was there for Daniel Defoe either. What bookstore doesn't carry Scott, Stevenson, or Defoe? Wow...our world is truly coming to an end.

    Defoe? Oh, have you not heard of Daniel Defoe? Wow. Well, he's only one of the greatest journalists who ever wrote and he did so during the years (high years) of piracy and sea robbing. He is amazing. He also wrote Robinson Crusoe, so you may have heard of that. I will read it again, but my favorite of his works are the works about and fully detailing the criminals, thieves, robbers, and Barrons of the sea! He met several of them personally, and he does not romanticize their actions. He doesn't describe it in gruesome detail, but he allows the reader to decide whether or not the actions of these rough men were deserving of their fate(s) to the gallows for the most part; some were drowned, some fought and lost, others escaped to worlds such as Madagascar and Indonesia. Crazy tales!! Fit for the wild imagination I've always had; thanks to my mom and her endless love of going to the library. 

    November is the month of Thanksgiving as well. It is the month of finally being able to wear sweaters, woolly warm socks, and maybe even a lighter onesie!! I have several just in case it gets cold enough during the month of November. I think it's a good evening when I can brew a wee cuppa cocoa, wear a onesie, cuddle up with the dog on the chaise and read a good book. Come on November!! Hurry!! You never disappoint.

Photo Credit: Me, but the book is Secret Restaurant Recipes (the ultimate collection) by Publication International.

    

Reading for Understanding. (and FUN!)

 I'll tell you what is NOT fun, and that is having to put glasses on to read now! Oh my goodness, it's official, I'm middle-aged. (Laughing) That means I'll live to be around 120 so there's that. I finally have to wear reading glasses. I actually have a prescription and a pair of "real" glasses, but the prescription is literally something like .50, and my optometrist sort of chuckled when he wrote out the Rx for me to take to the front of his office where I very proudly picked out the rims of my first ever pair of real glasses. I don't wear them because they have a bifocal. I didn't realize what he was saying when he described it to me.  The way the bifocal works is that I have to be looking down to use the reading portion of my lens and I hold my book at eye level, so that didn't work for me. I went to the local drugstore and bought a pair of 100 readers and I'm good.

    I could have sworn, but I would have been wrong, that the average book is written in 12 font. It isn't. It is written in 11 font. You wouldn't think that would make a huge difference and I guess really it may not, but it makes just enough of a difference to me that the words are rather blurry and I can't tell the f's from t's or the u's from v's. It's annoying. My brain functions correctly, so it throws all the characters in the mix and comes up with the right words, but that does take an extra step of braining it and there are times when seriously, I don't really want to brain much. I just want to read.

    With me, it's all about the words. I write them. I type them. I read them. I create them, and I even dream about them. I was working today and out of NOWHERE, a very romantic and quite intimately suggestive poem popped right between my eyes on the inside of my skull. I had no other choice but to stop my employment duties for a minute and quickly jot down the words that were feverously cascading through the folds of my imagination. I'd tell you what I thought, but I'm not finished with it yet and I don't want to spoil the process.

    I decided (because I do that) that I would start reading more classic books from Scottish authors and by Scottish authors, I am not just limiting my selection to Sir Walter Scott and Robert Louis Stevenson. I could and will include J.K. Rowling only because she lived in Edinburgh for 21+ years as an adult and wrote her books there in the city under the rainswept skies of my favorite city. I am also buying books whose authors include (but are not limited to) Kenneth Grahame, Josephine Tey, Sir Arthur Conan, George MacDonald, and one of my favorite people, Alan Cumming.  There are hundreds of authors of course, and thousands of books to read, but I am "hankering" as they say, to learn more from those I feel a connection with. You really don't get more connected to me than through murder and forensics, and when I learned at the age of a young teen that Sir Arthur Conan was Scottish, I flipped!! I could not have been happier. 

    To say I've read every book Conan has ever written would be false, but I have dipped into that well a great number of times. I'm too excited to finish Robert Louis Stevenson's "The Strange Tale of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde".  Most people just say "Jekyll and Hyde" and I'd suspect that they haven't actually read it. They may have seen a video, watching a play, or maybe an old film.  This book is chock full of great vocabulary and imagery.  I recently found the origin of the book and why RLS wrote it in the first place. The book is not long. It is exhaustive really, but it's not long. You can read the book in one afternoon if you have only a few distractions. I prefer to take my time, but this book seems to grab you by the throat, pin you to the chair, and keep you there. I literally had to pull myself away from it tonight. I have things I must do!  

    To find out, to read and learn, that RLS was a sick man when he wrote the book is really very telling. He was so completely obsessed with the real-life character called Deacon Brodie, for whom he created the two opposing characters for the book. Brodie was in fact a madman, a deviant, an addict, a thief, possibly a murderer, and he was also, as the tale would hold, a gentleman, a fine and upstanding and well respected local businessman on the Royal Mile of Edinburgh. CRAZY truth and the overwhelming personal self-inflicted torture that Robert Louis Stevenson immersed himself into in order to write the book are just astonishing! Well worth the read of the book as well as studying the background!  You can't make this stuff up, folks. It happened. 

    For me, writing is my first love, but reading is my second. I'd say my side thing, but that has a bad connotation doesn't it? I mean, writing and reading are sort of like twins or besties and you can hang out with both of them at the same time without either of them becoming jealous of your time. I liken it to having two horses of different sizes, colors, disciplines, and strengths. Neither horse really gives a hoot if you pet the other for a while as long as you pay some attention to them too. No one hopes the other dies a horrible bloody and painful death - - that's me. I'm the one writing, researching, investigating, and drafting someone's horrible bloody, and painful death, and I do that through reading what others have written, and I write what I write. (If someone reads my words and is likewise inspired, the wheels on the bus keep going round and round!)

    Tonight it was Bob.  Robert Louis Stevenson.  Tomorrow it's Walt.  Sir Walter Scott; but I'm not reading his classic novels or even the lesser-known books. NOPE, I am reading a book titled "Demonology and Witchcraft"  What? It's almost Halloween, and I wanted to see if this was a novel or a documentary. I have no idea. I just saw it on Amazon and bought it. "Rob Roy" is after that. Believe it or not, I had NO IDEA that Sir Walter Scott wrote it, and no, I've not read the book. I've only seen the movies and videos. I need to read the book!! I should put another author in between, but I am waiting on those books to arrive. The Edinburgh Boys is what I'll be calling my authors soon.  Sir Walter Scott, RSL, Sir Arthur Conan, Kenneth Grahame, and I suppose I can add Philosopher David Hume to that group.  He's not my favorite by any means, but he did hail from the City Centre area and I've got a soft spot for anyone who walked the Meadows, climbed Arthur's Seat, and perhaps watched a hanging or two by the old Canongate Tolbooth.

    Another story or two and then I'll let you go. There are a pair of murderers known through Scottish folklore and history as graverobbers, though they never robbed a single grave. They murdered 17 people in Edinburgh, then sold their bodies to the attending professor of medicine at the University of Edinburgh.  Stories of Burke and Hare abound, and they too are fun to read.  Another interesting and sorrowful twist to the overwhelmingly gruesome history of that city is the many tales written and told the more than 300 would-be witches who were hung, and in my opinion, murdered, by the townspeople and the established lawmakers of the day. Such a tragic and terrible time.  The stores around the town pay homage to the ladies mainly to sell tidbits for souvenirs, but these were real lives. These were real people who were hung for the slightest of reasons.  Hanging was not the only way(s) these women were executed. I can't say I read these stories or books for fun, but for understanding. I want to learn. I want to know. I want to feel. I want to pray that I could nor would ever harm someone just because I disagreed with them.

    Reading is the key to unlocking so many doors from the past, the present, and of course, the future. It assists with connecting the dots. It creates those dots too. It brings to life the images and representations of reality and fantasy. Sometimes we can't tell the difference between the two!  Watching a movie can reiterate for me what I read, but I read to really know. I read to really comprehend. I read because there are times I can't stomach visually viewing gory grotesque images, but I can read or write about them in minute detail. I have no idea why that is. I just know that reading and seeing the words brings the story to my soul. I read because it is my breath.

Canongate Tolbooth. Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com

Scottish Tablet -- Yes, Please.

 I can't tell you on which trip it was that I first had my taste of real Scottish tablet; but I can tell you that I enjoyed my aunt Wilma's blond fudge, which is what she called her recipe! Remember, I'm an American girl with about 47% Scottish blood running through me, and if you consider that at least half of the 48% of the English blood running through me is from the SOUTHERN tip of Scotland and the bordering areas, I bet you pounds to dollars I have a lot more Scots blood in me than that silly DNA test will try to say I have!  Let's be real. The borders were an area that went back and forth between the kingdoms of England and Scotland, and my people (mostly) were revilers who stole cattle, forced people to pay rent to graze on lands they didn't own, and they married both Scottish and English women so you just really don't know how accurate these tests can be. At least I can count on the tablet!

    What is a Scottish Tablet? Well, it's like I said, a blond sort of sugary fudge treat. You make it on the stovetop, some people use the microwave to initially melt the butter, milk, and sugar, but there's no reason to do that. I choose the old-fashioned method of using the big pot and you must use a wooden spoon -- or do what I did, use a rubber spatula with a wooden handle. I think it counts. I did add love, you have to add a lot of love. If you chinch on the love you're not going to have a good result. That's guaranteed!

    So the thing about tablet (in Scotland) is that it can be gritty due to the amount of sugar being used. Americans are so fussy, aren't we? We tend to tone down the sugar a smidge and add flavor, maybe a bit more butter; what I did would be considered illegal in the Old World. I used marshmallow cream. Yes, I really did. So also, instead of using real sugar, I used monk fruit. Say what? Did she just admit to not using sugar in tablet? Wow, can it still be considered to be tablet? Yes, and in fact, it's a really good dish.  I use marshmallow cream to add vanilla flavoring and a creamy texture to offset the fact that it's made with less sweet stuff.  Oh, and don't tell anyone, but I didn't have full-fat milk today so I used 2%. Yep, just cheating on this thing all the way around.

    I'm making a batch for work tomorrow. We have a monthly birthday celebration and I usually bring a Scottish dish. I was asked to bring the same thing I made last month but I excused myself because I think people should try different types of sweets and savory dishes from time to time. Last month I made shortbread sticks. I even have a really cute thistle stamp that I put on the tops of the shortbread! It was gone before the morning break. I'm hoping they enjoy the tablet equally well. If not I'll just bring it home. I know I love it.  Tomorrow is also the annual chili cook-off, and I didn't want to make haggis chili for anyone; you just never know what could happen if a wild haggis was seen roaming the halls of the big office building. You have to butcher the haggis fresh if you're gonna do a good chili. Anything can happen.

    I took photos of the tablet while I was making it, but I'll have to add one from Pinterest here (to show you what it looks like) because mine is cooling off right now, so I can't cut it. I may even put it in the fridge to harden up a bit. I'm making a trial batch for my family first, then I'll venture into doubling the recipe so I can make enough for several people. It's a potluck type of dinner really, so I'm not going to make enough to feed everyone. I made 60 shortbread sticks and they were literally eaten almost as soon as they hit the countertop in the breakroom. One of the traders stated "Well, if you snooze you lose" when he was explaining to someone on the floor what was once sitting on top of the display plate that I brought.  Yep, gone.  Several of the traders (and I) arrive at work around 7:45 a.m. so yeah, we're gonna get to the good stuff first or as it comes into the office.

    Because Scotland is a land so rich with national pride and great dishes, I can literally bring a good solid Scottish traditional dish once a month and not have to repeat anything. This month it's tablet, next month it will be macaroni and cheese. I bet you didn't know that was Scottish!! It is.  I make mine with garlic, chopped onions, and parsley.  I may make a Shepherd's pie for December, but since it will be a Christmas-themed gathering, I will likely find something more traditional like bread; but Shepherd's pie is a must. You can't go a month without it really. I know I don't. I make mince and tatties often too, but I'm not going to bring that as it is separate, both mince and tatties, and some people would just get one or the other and that's not how it's supposed to go!!

    Anyway, today's tablet is wonderful. I can see it cooling down now. It's not as dark as a traditional tablet since I've added the marshmallow cream, but let me tell you, it's divine. Yes, yes, it is. It is smooth and sweet, and since I cut it into 1.5" x 1.5" squares it feeds 48 when you put it into a 12" x 9" pan. That's not bad. I feel like I've done my duty, to be honest. I can't be expected to feed 90+ people -- well, that's not true. I would do it if I was asked to or expected to. I don't mind cooking, and I certainly don't mind teaching people who have never tasted a bit of Scotland what it is like to be raised by really good Scottish women who knew their way around their kitchens. Who knew wooden spoons were used for more than just whipping the kids? (I'm old, it happened.) 

    Thank you, Aunt Wilma! Thank you, Granny! I'd say thanks to Mom, but she wasn't the cook in the family. She was the artist. She could paint a picture of tablet that's for sure. It would look better than anything I could cook too! What she lacked in culinary skills she more than made up with paint and brushes!  I didn't get that talent; nope. I am the cook. My BIG big sister was the geek, she knew all the I.T. stuff, and she is quite crafty too.  My Little big sister is a MASTER seamstress and she cooks. I am a baker and a cook, and I write.  My brother just went from house to house eating what we prepared. He's a mechanic, so he's quite useful as well.

    Whether you call it blond fudge, tablet, or just dessert, it's a fun and easy thing to do. You can Google the recipe easily enough. You won't find one using marshmallow cream, but you can add it. You can add cinnamon too if you want! Just sayin. It's your treat! Double-dog dare you! 

    

Photo credit: Pinterest.com 

A Strange and Welcomed Dream.

 I love it when I have dreams that not only have full stories, but have drama, sorrow, laughter, intricate detailing, and even costumes! I love it when I can wake up from a dream and wonder if I was actually dreaming, or if what was taking place inside my brain was real and I'm just coming out of some alternative universe. I'm not being really serious at this point. I know I'm here, and I know it's now. I realize a dream is a dream, and fantasy is just that; a fantasy.  Sometimes the fantastic happens when I'm sleeping and boy oh boy, it's beyond imaginable. It's a FANTABULOUSLY real feeling and I can even remember the tiny minute details of the conversations I had with people. Sometimes these conversations are being had by others; so it's not always me doing the talking. I bet you would never have guessed that one!!

    I was in another place. I knew I was, and I knew it was another time. I didn't know where I was, when it was, or how I got there, but I did know somehow, that my being there was for a larger purpose, and I would be safe. I would not be harmed. I would be fine, and everything was going to be OK. At least that's what I thought until I was facing several men on a dirt-type road in the forest and they weren't sure what to do with me. I couldn't understand them, they were speaking a foreign language. I managed to listen and make a gesture with my finger to sort of say "Say that again" and one man repeated what another man had said. When he said it again, I made the same gesture but very slowly. The second man repeated the words very slowly, and I understood two things. First, I realized he was speaking Scots Gaelic. Secondly, the only words I could make out were the words for "you" and "where".  Ah! OK, they wanted to know who I was, and where I came from. Got it!

    I told them my name and said I had no idea which direction I had come from because I was sort of lost, not knowing where I am. I also asked what year it was since their wardrobe seemed a bit outdated.  After a few minutes of them huddling around and talking, it was decided that I would be their captive and I decided to disagree. I began walking off and one of them grabbed me by the arm. Almost instantaneously the man was picked up by an invisible force and flung to the ground. This action, of course, led to them all coming to the same conclusion about me; I had to be a witch! Well, as you can imagine, that wasn't going to work out well either. I said out loud to myself "Oh yea, they actually believe I'm a witch. This means I'm stuck somewhere probably in medieval times and either in northern Scotland or out really far west on some island." I hadn't passed or seen anything with any hope of being a landmark. I had no idea.

    I thought about just walking away, but these men weren't all that keen for me to leave just yet. I was surrounded and they all began asking me questions. I wondered how they had understood me earlier, and then I realized that they had not understood a single word I said, but they had evidently believed me to be of English descent. One of them had spent some time in the southern part of the country and remembered the words "believe" and "witch".  It was decided I was either a witch or I had some sort of connection to the other worlds so I was respected, but I was not to be set free. They walked with me, surrounding me, and from time to time they spoke to me, but again, I had no idea what they were asking or what they were saying. 

    I wanted to communicate so I used what little (tiny) knowledge I have of the Scottish Gaelic language and I made hand gestures as well.  Finally, after a couple of hours or so of walking, I saw what looked to be a castle. It was in fact, a completed castle and I thought about it long and hard before asking if it was the site of Castle Stuart the response I received was a mixed bag of surprise, confusion, anger, and excitement. Pick a man, any man, and he had a different reaction to me knowing that the ruins before me were going to be restored in about 300 years and then be used as a hotel; well, what they would call an inn, but in Scottish Gaelic, the word would be "taigh-osta".  My Gaelic had a lot to be desired. I really sucked at it, placing words in the wrong order and hacking most of the pronunciations. At least the men figured out I was not from that area but knew something about the castle. When I tried to explain in detail I was basically forced to shut up. They wanted to wait until they could find someone who could possibly translate what I was saying, mainly because if I was in fact a witch, they didn't want me casting spells on them without them being aware of exactly how I was cursing them.

    When I made the sign of the cross over my face and heart they immediately stared at me. I quickly realized that they weren't Catholic; I'm not either, but they weren't happy that I might be. So, it was about that time I decided to shut up and just keep walking with them.  I did have to excuse myself to go pee in the woods and I was fairly adamant about not letting any of them follow me.  I made it quite clear that I would not stop talking if they continued to stalk me as I tried to find a few leaves that didn't appear to be poison ivy. I was seriously hoping I was successful with that quest, and I was! Funny how we can't find what we're looking for in a dream. I think I ended up with an actual roll of toilet paper and I remember laughing about that.

    Once back on the road, I noticed my shoes. I didn't know why none of the men had pointed to them and questioned me. I suppose men have really never kept up or been too involved with women's choices of attire. That made me smile. When we reached the edge of town and saw a bit of civility, a woman who was both older and quite English-looking (pointed nose, higher cheekbones, and slightly jacked-up teeth) came out of her house and questioned the men about me. She spoke to them in a broken dialect but they seemed to answer her in their own. She turned to me and apologized for the behavior of the men, and she became speaking to me in what can be described as middle English, but at least I was able to figure out what she was saying! This was good news for me. I told her the situation, not that I expected her to understand or believe me, but she did say that God works in mysterious ways.

    The woman's name was Eula and she led me to a cabin or cottage in the city's center street, today it would be called "High Street" where a man in his late 40s perhaps his early 50s was sitting at a table. He was dusting off his shoes and thinking about getting up to either make his bed or pet the dog when Eula knocked on his door. She rapped four specific times and he said to himself, "It must be Eula. I wonder what she wants."  As it turns out Eula was married to this man's brother, and her husband of many years had passed away.  As the laws and customs were at that time, this man, being a close kinsman who was not married, was expected to marry Eula to keep her protected and to provide for her. The problem is, in reality, neither Eula nor the man really fancied one another. I guess to be blunt, they didn't like each other at all, and they had both sworn off any sort of arrangement between them. Something had to happen, Eula began to pray about it.

    As the man opened his door he looked just beyond Eula to see me.  He had been with Eula and his brother for years, having lived in or near their household. He grew to learn the English language to a large degree, and he was able to carry on open conversations about their agreement not to unite; without the others knowing their plans.  "Woman, you have interrupted me. I was quite busy", he lied and protested. "Liar!" She exclaimed as she led me into the house before closing the door behind her. Eula then surprised both myself and the man by stating,  "This woman, this new woman, was found in the wood about six miles up Tarmal Rood.  She is from the new world and speaks only their English. She's to marry you old fool, and I will be free from the laws that tie our necks." Wait...what? I mean, no. I don't think so. He's...well, wait a minute, he's actually kind of cute in a tall, rugged, burly, bearded, brawny, tattooed sort of Scottish sexy Highlander sort of way. I mean c'mon, it's a dream, right? Go with it.

    What happened next was pretty funny really. I was actually able to stop myself and say, "OK, this is a dream".  Sometimes, if I see myself doing gymnastics in a dream, I know I'm dreaming. I stop myself if I can and I go ahead and do more! I actively and purposely fling myself into back handsprings and hang upside down so I can have fun and create for myself a means of entertainment.  This time, when I saw the man standing before me in his family tartan, leathered footwear, and hand-stitched shirt, I couldn't help myself, I began grinning and actually giggling because so many of us in this century often wonder what a real Scotsman wears under his kilt. Oh my gosh, did I really think that in my dream? What a loser! I was about to slap myself right there in front of God and everyone, but I said to my dream self "Stop being so immature, it's obviously sometime between the 16th and 17th centuries, and yeah, he's not gonna have any briefs on under that magic piece of material you love so much. This could be your chance to snag a Scot who won't fuss and argue with you about wearing his kilt and dirty black boots. OK, the man doesn't actually have to put his shoes back on. I'm good."

    In her best and sweetest hostess sort of way, Eula explained to me that her brother-in-law Craig Mackenzie was about 50 but no one really knew. She was a bit older than he was, and her late husband always claimed Craig was a wee bit younger, but again, no one really kept records. Their family book or their Bible was long missing, and he had decided that on the Spring Solstice he would celebrate his new year. Whether or not he was born at that time is up for grabs.  So, his name is Craig Mackenzie? Ha! I had to laugh at myself again because anyone who follows me knows I have a fictional man, a creation of my own, whom I called Naked Bearded Man for over 30 years. We've been together through thick and thin.  This man was in fact Naked Bearded Man, but I didn't exactly recognize him because he was actually wearing his clothes rather than being seen in my dreams both unclad, in the buff as it were, and oftentimes he's literally folding his kilt! Yes, this was in fact my Naked Bearded Man!  

    About a year ago I suppose, I decided to give Naked Bearded Man a real name. I wanted it to be something sensual, obviously rough and tumble, as he is quite rugged, and it must be (of course, it must be) a Scottish name. He was named Craig Allan Mackenzie, and here Eula was telling me that this man was in fact the same man I had dreamed of for so many years. Well, no wonder I wasn't upset with having been given to him so unceremoniously and without any real explanation. It was at this time that Craig pointed to my shoes and asked what type of footwear is this,  that doesn't lace or buckle.  Oh...yeah...velcro.  Laughing seemed a bit inappropriate, so I just smiled and took his hand. I looked Craig in his big grey eyes and I said, "Well, I'll show you mine if you show me yours."  He smiled. Eula left the house, and well, I don't really know where the dog went, but Craig and I had a really good time of it - - you know, discussing shoes and things.

    I would say that's when I woke up, but it wasn't. I woke up hours later smiling.

Photo Credit: Pinterest.com

Mini Waffles!! (or homemade Eggos)

 Life is too funny at times, and I try to make the most of it when I can. I went to the store and saw a handful of mini or tiny kitchen appliances for folks who are living alone, or maybe who are at college and aren't allowed a full-fledged kitchen in their dorm! I was amazed at what you can buy really, and therefore, I decided to think about it and see if buying a mini waffler would be an enhancement to my daily life. We'll have to see how this ends up working out for me, as I didn't think it all the way through really.

    So, if you buy Eggo waffles you know they are about four inches round. They are very uniform, and you can pop them into the toaster and they'll be hot and ready for you in a matter of one minute or so. You buy them frozen, put them into the freezer, and I think they come in packages of 10 for about $2.49.  I think that's the cost. I tried to remember.  OK, but a box of pancake/waffle mix (the type you just add water to) is about $1.49 and if you're really into being as cheap as you possibly can be, you can do the whole bulk thing at Winco, and the same amount will cost just about $1.10. The box of waffle mix makes many many more than eight waffles! If I had to guess I'd say the box makes about 40 or more waffles that are four inches round. Such savings!

    OK, but doing it yourself does require that you have a cup to pour the mix in, a spoon to stir it, and of course, you need to have a waffler. I choose the tiny little mini waffler because it's adorable, and takes up so much less space than the bigger appliance. I have a bigger appliance, but you can't make four-inch round waffles with it unless you're really good at trying to do the pouring and no, it's not worth the effort. Get the little one, and be done with it.  When all is said and done, the Eggo costs about .29 cents each (after tax) and these little waffles are less than .04 cents each. You can't beat that, and yeah, it takes a minute, and you have to clean it, but you do save on the waste, and you do save on the space in your freezer, and you do save on the cabinet top too! You can put the waffler thing in a drawer.

    The egg muffin thing is cool and I could end up getting it, but the toaster is working for me on that one and the microwave. I'm not needing to buy another big or tiny appliance. I have a really cool rack in my dining area to keep the kitchen appliances on anyway, so at least I can walk through my kitchen and not feel crowded. It's not a big kitchen. I need a much much bigger kitchen. That's next on the Christmas list I think. Santa may have to start earlier this year. I want a three-bedroom house with two bathrooms, a garage, and a backyard. I think that will fit nicely in my stocking over the fireplace. (I don't have to have a fireplace. I just said that.)

    OMG..I can compare the ingredients and the nutritional value of the Eggos vs. my box waffles. Let me go do that really quickly, and I'll come back and let you know what I found.

Well, that's surprising. There is more sodium in the pancake mix, but there is less sugar (9 vs 10) and less fat (2g v. 4g), and fewer carbs (26 v. 32).  All in all it's a better choice to do the add-water pancake mix for cost and nutrition, but you do need to know the sodium is much higher. I don't know why that is, but it is. Convenience and on-the-go timing would be a plus for the Eggo, but cost and health are two advantages of the pancake mix. You do have to clean the cup and the waffler. There is a bit of maintenance involved. OK, I have to go, I have dishes to do, laundry, and bed sheets to change. I think I'm going to the store again later anyway to get dog food, but I may end up ordering that on Amazon now. 

    PetSmart sells the dog food I buy for $39.00 a bag, and Amazon delivers it to my place and it's $32.00 a bag. I think about these things. It may only save a bit here and a bit there, but it could be the difference between making those ends meet later on, and I need that. I need to know I did everything I could to make it happen...then I go off and buy half a dozen donuts for no good reason! Yeah, I'm human!

    I did try to cook a sausage patty in the waffler today, and I think it will work if I squish it down a bit. I could just fry it up, but that also takes a bit of time. I can't do the egg in the waffler but I can microwave it with cheese.  The mini waffler is really cute and they have really fun colors. It was NOT a necessity, but it's going to make mornings a bit better. I need to start eating breakfast again, even if it's just a little waffle and sausage sandwich, or the egg-muffin cheese and ham sandwich I make too. I can't pretend that fasting is working, as it's not. I have been fasting from 7PM to 10AM for more than two years, and I think really if I change that to 7PM to 8AM I'll be fine.  (I'll let you know  if I balloon or something)

    Viva la comparisons!!  Life is fun!

Photo Credit: Me (That's a nickel on the waffler to show scale)

Espresso Yourself!

 I am not going to lie, I buy things sometimes just because I can. I also buy things because I want to, and there is (often) a difference.  Some things that I buy are for good use; while others are just because I don't want to be inconvenienced or whatever it is that I'm buying will make my life easier and/or better.  Don't (please don't) think I'm being arrogant or rude, I'm not. For a number of years, I was both unable to buy what I needed let alone what I wanted. I went through a good portion of Hell and back again over and over again. I went to "the wire" as I call it, where and when I couldn't possibly make ends meet even if I stood up and screamed to the Heavens. I was just dirt dirt poor and both owed money and couldn't make enough. These are the times I thank God because I grew to believe that there is NOTHING that can't be achieved through faith and through prayer. I was right. God was always there for me. Somehow I made it each and every time.

    So now, having been through more wringers than is legal to have been subjected to, I am possibly one of the strongest women I have ever met in terms of sticking it out and doing so much with so little for so long. I have the ability to stretch a dollar to the point that it resembles a tightwire - and I walk it very very cautiously when I need to. There are other times when I say "Screw that" and I just plop the card down or I order something online (usually through Amazon) and I absolutely never regret my decision if I make it because I don't make the decision without knowing it's going to be OK. I think it out, I work it out, I plan it out, and I say yes to the whatever it is that I'm hoping will make me smile. Today, that was an expresso machine.

    For the past however many months I've been telling myself that it will happen. I look at these machines, research, read, study, and do the due diligence, then I always find some reason to say no. I just make up an excuse that usually involves something like "I could use the money another way" or "I don't have space on my cabinet for it".  Both of these excuses are just that, excuses. I know I can make room, and I also know I don't owe anyone anything really, not anymore. I am on the upswing finally, after years of scraping and pulling myself up through credit building and paying payments on time! It is officially a good time for me, and Jesus is the reason. Without thinking about what needs to be done, and how to make it happen, I would be lost in a whirlpool of repeating poor decisions over and over again. Once I found a Bible-based method of how to set the budget and keep it, it was only a matter of time before it worked out in my favor, again, through practicing good decision-making, and not buying whatever I wanted when I wanted. I had bills to pay. I had food to buy. I have credit to clear. It wasn't easy, and yes, it took YEARS to achieve. Nothing you can achieve quickly feels as rewarding as taking your time to make sure you do it correctly. Credit is no different.

    Today, because I can, and because I found the best deal ever, I decided to make room on my kitchen cabinet for a new espresso machine. When I say it was the best deal ever, I mean it. This particular machine isn't as popular as others, but it does have a solid reputation. It was already on sale, and because I had a credit with Amazon, it was literally one-third the price of a new machine. WOW!  Now, my daughter Laura, who served as a real-life Starbucks barista for years, will train me on how to make every espresso drink I've ever loved and dreamed of making. She used to bring me free bags of coffee, and every night I picked her up or when I dropped her off, she would make me a gorgeous drink. I was too too too spoiled, and I miss that.

    When I was in my youth (before Starbucks) I only drank strong coffee. I had no idea what espresso was, and I didn't know what I was missing.  After the whole Americano rut that I found myself in, I was really excited to find out a person could drink a four-shot cappuccino and still live to talk about it. I think I'll cut that in half and pour a copious amount of wet froth on top now. I'm not really into flying at the break of dawn and landing on my backside after I've been a bit overconfident. I think I'll rein it in, and maybe try to at least act half my age. I have responsibilities still and yeah, getting too high on bean juice could prove unsettling. At least I know that I will be downing something with caramel and/or chocolate on a regular basis before heading off to work. I don't even care if I have to get up and out of bed a full five minutes earlier to compensate for the time it takes to brew. I will make that happen.

    My big beautiful machine arrives tomorrow and you know I'll be standing outside the door waiting on the Amazon man and his beautiful smiling truck! He comes to my place just about every day to drop off something I can't possibly live without; I find it easier to order it than to try to remember what it was that I wanted or needed and then try to fight traffic, store traffic, lines, and supply chains. Nope, if I can save time, money, effort, and energy, and just wait on the Amazon man, I'm doing that. Why not? It's there, it's available, and I'm not putting myself or anyone else in danger. I make planned and calculated purchases. I just need to start making them at the same time instead of on a daily basis. 

    We don't have an Amazon woman on this route. I am positive they are around, but he's been my delivery man for over two years and he even tries to guess what it is that I bought. He's rarely right. I think he does that just to make us all laugh. My neighbors are outside waiting with me. They order stuff too.  I know what you're thinking; "Jude, you're way too spoiled" and you'd be right. I am. When I was a kid and all the way through my early adult life, there was NO WAY I could have dreamed of ordering anything over the phone or through the mail and expecting it to be delivered to my house in one day for no extra cost. I'm absolutely 100% positively over-the-top spoiled, and God bless America!

    Happy coffee people!!

Photo Credit icuire.com 

At What Cost?

 Driving to work every single morning I come to a real crossroads. I am literally at the very point where I could either turn into the parking lot of my building, or I could just veer a bit to the right and head into McDonald's to pick up a beloved favorite, the Egg McMuffin sandwich.  It's a daily, and I do mean daily, decision for me. Do I do it? Do I not do it. There are arguments to be made for both going and not going.  Here are the pros and cons. You tell me what you would do.

    So, McDonald's is so close to my office, I could and do walk from time to time. I can pop in, or go through the drive-through if there are no more than two cars in the drive-through. I am so very spoiled, and I don't wait in line for much of anything or for anyone, so if there are two cars in the drive-through, I simply will not pull into it. Mind you, this McDonald's has two lanes for the drive-through. If I see more than two cars in both combined, I pull into a parking slot and go into the store. I have, on occasion, just said no to the whole matter, and then by the time I drive back to the office I regret my decision and I usually turn around and go back. 

    The Egg McMuffin is $4.12, so if there are 20 days in a month, I'm paying around $82.40 and if there are 21 working days it's $86.52 a month. That's a big chunk of change! Do I really need an Egg McMuffin every single day? Well, I say no, then I get to work and feel like I'm about to die and can't make it all the way to lunch without eating something. Our office has snacks and I love that. I bring granola bars, and I bring chips and things too, but I try not to eat them because they're not good for me, somehow convincing myself that an Egg McMuffin would be, or should be good for me. I mean, it's not really all that carbish, right? It does have an egg, and it does have a slice of Canadian bacon, and there's cheese. Cheese in moderation is good. 

    Well, what I did was think about buying myself one of those handy-dandy egg sandwich makers, and it's only $30.00, so in the long run, I'm going to win. BUT...then I got to thinking, and that's usually when things go south.  I said to myself, OK, I have a toaster. I can split it open and toast the muffin part. I have a microwave, I can break an egg, stir it up with a fork, plop a piece of ham or Canadian bacon on top, plop a piece of cheese on that, microwave it for 1.00 minute, and bam! I have an Egg McMuffin pseudo sandwich! I don't need the machine, and the machine would take time to clean and all that. I don't want to do that every day. I'm not only sp0iled when it comes to waiting in line, I'm also spoiled rotten when it comes to inconveniencing myself and forcing myself to clean things on a daily basis.

    I decided on trying the homemade sandwiches.  This is where it gets good because I don't compromise quality for the price. I went to Target and I bought Thomas brand English muffins, they are great.  I bought a package of white cheddar cheese, with thick slices, I think it's Tillamook brand or something like that. I then picked up a package of great Canadian bacon slices, and they are also a bit thicker in their cut as well.  The materials cost $15.70 and I was ready to dive into the experiment. I made a fairly good egg sandwich the next morning, but I did make a mess that had to be cleaned before I went to work. It wasn't a HUGE mess, but a towel would need to be washed, and I had to at least rinse the egg cooker thing and wipe it well. It took about 3 minutes altogether, and I had to find a ziplock bag to put it into. 

    The sandwich stayed warm all the way to work, and again, it was a bit messy; not as dry as the McDonald's brand sandwich. I didn't have paper to wrap it in, and had to use a paper towel to clean up a bit. So, again, I ask, is it worth it? The thing is, the materials I bought will be about 6 sandwiches before I need more muffins. I can get 10 sandwiches with cheese and bacon, and 12 with eggs, so all in all I can basically say it's $15.70 x 3.6 (as I have to buy more materials in the middle) for a balance of $59.66  that's only a savings of $26.86 and that's about 1.27 a day if I have 21 days in a month. I have to think about this.

    I may or may not pull into the drive-through. I may or may not have to stand in line. I may or may not even go, and then I'm destined to be hungry.  If I do make myself the sandwiches I have to clean up the little mess every day, but the sandwich is slightly better really; it has better cheese and bacon, and I do like the fact that it's wetter, not as dry. I do like the fact that I made it, and I do like the fact that I'm not giving my money away to a giant corporation that I don't really agree with when it comes to their political views; should that matter? I think it should.

    I can basically state that I'm going to continue to do the egg sandwich thing at home until I get really tired of doing it, but I can't tell you when that could be. I may just like it and continue for the rest of my freaking life. You just don't know. I mean, I can get into a rut like anyone else I suppose. I could decide to switch it up and make myself a little waffle sandwich with sausage or Canadian bacon in the middle of it. I could! You just shouldn't put anything past this woman. It could happen. Now, I'm thinking about it happening. I know I can pick up a little tiny mini pancake waffle maker thing for $12.00 and I can heat the sausage in the microwave for 44 seconds. This is going to happen, folks. Thanks so much for your input, I really appreciate it.  Life is good.

Photo Credit: HamiltonBeach.com

81 Days to Live

 According to a man known as "Mike From Around the World", there will be a NASA event on January 5, 2023, and it's something so powerful, and so inclusive, that the people of Earth, no matter how hard they try, can't stop the event from happening. Supposedly, it is a huge thing, a big deal, and even if they (the collective they) could or would warn us, we would not believe them. OK. Let that sink in. They have been so wrong for so long, and they have been lying to us over and over again about so many things, that no matter what they say, be it true or not, we would not believe it.  So then, what makes it more plausible to hear about from a man who no one seems to know who he is, where he's living, what he actually does, etc.? Well, here are my thoughts.

    I think the man's name is actually Mike Birkhead. He is a regular on the Paul Begley YouTube shows on Thursday evenings, where he has been teaching and preaching his "Doom and Gloom" for about 8-10 years.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to Mike. I don't always agree with him, and I don't think it's necessary to throw around end-of-the-world scenarios even if it is true, because there are just too many folks who have mental issues and incapacities; they just can't handle the sharp words of possible reality.  There are things that we can't control, and those things are best left to God. We can't stop a wave of energy from hitting the Earth. We can't stop a solar flare. We can't stop an enormous earthquake. We just need to remember the Bible has it completely lined out as to how the world (and Heaven) will end. There just isn't any reason to get the troops rallied up over something that could possibly happen in the atmosphere, or even if one of those loose planets decides to smash Earth! We just can't control it, so why bring it up in conversation? Ratings? Donations?

    Paul Begley is a good man. He is a Christian man. He is a preacher who has a heart for others, but I really can't tolerate his constant advertising for his books, his videos, and whatever else he's promoting. C'mon, if you have a word from God you give it. You don't sell it.  Jesus will KNOW your heart and you will NOT benefit from it, your blessings will NOT be given to you if you withhold the word and charge for it. Use your brain! If Jesus told you to tell people something, you do it. If He told you to hold your tongue, you do it. You don't have to advertise your books, just post them and if they are to be sold, they will be sold. Holding the word hostage is wrong.

    So, Mike Birkhead came onto the show last Thursday, I'm sure you can find it on YouTube, and he said that something catastrophic was going to happen on January 5, 2023, and believe me when I say he said it without blinking. He was just talking about the end of the world as we know it as if it was matter-of-fact knowledge. I have a real problem with this.  First, the Bible is very clear about how the Earth and Heaven will be destroyed, and if there is going to be something monstrous happening on January 5, 2023, the powers that be will either let us know or they won't. If they do let us know the people will revolt. They will start murdering and committing suicide. They will stop working, they will cause havoc, they will dive into sin like no other, then they'll start repenting around the first of the year to give themselves time to be forgiven! It's not going to happen that way. If it were true they would certainly never let us know -- thankfully!

    I have a job.  If I thought and I really thought that we were going to all die or most of us were going to die in 81 days, I would probably stop working and start ministering to the point that when January 5, 2023, came around and there was nothing to shout about, I would at least have made a stand for Christ, but my boss probably wouldn't take me back to work. I'd be without a job, and without a job, I can't feed my dog. My dog deserves better. I will continue to witness, but yeah, I'm not giving up my day job just yet.  If it were true, and we were all going to die or most of us die on January 5, 2023, we would have one heck of a Christmas and Thanksgiving celebration with family and friends. We would hold each other, hug and love each other, and talk endlessly about how we hope we go in the rapture before the event happens. We would all give up on living and just wait to die! I don't want that.

    Mike Birkhead is one smart cookie. I will never take that away from him. He is right up there with the higher levels of both intelligence and military know-how. He's in the mix, and he's both entertaining and informative. I could never imagine having the knowledge and grasp on world events as men and women like him have. He, like Amir Tsarfati, and others, gives us food for thought and keeps us thinking. Thinking is good, but panic is not good. I think we need to rein in the doom and gloom a bit and help support our brothers and sisters with encouraging words of Christ's return. We are not given to a spirit of fear, but of hope. We are not to create havoc and unrest. We are to uplift, encourage, help, and heal.  We are to be good to one another and not cause chaos.

    In the past, Mike told us that there would be hit by five waves of energy that would hit the Earth, and he was correct.  I think he made it seem as if the Earth would shake, rattle, and roll over, maybe do a pole shift. That didn't happen, but people were all about it, talking, and feeling helpless.  I think more damage is done to the minds of the weak and it is sin. I consider it a sin when we purposely harm someone who was a peace, just for the sake of letting them know what could happen. Being prepared is one thing; you can go to a tornado closet to wait out a storm, but if you can't control an asteroid from slamming into the Earth then just pray about it. Give it to God and let Him control what He has created. 

    Be at peace. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever (who so ever) believes on Him, shall be saved."  John 3:16.  It's still in the Book. It's not going anywhere.  Be still and know that God is God.

Photo Credit: Paul Begley Minisries

No Xaphoon For Me. (Sad Face)

 I don't know if you do it or not, but I get these wild hairs up my butt and I decide to do things that make little to no sense whatsoever. This past week or so I wasn't feeling well, and that may have had something to do with the decision I made to buy myself a cute little reed instrument called a Xaphoon; I have no idea. I really don't know what it was that made me think I needed one. I was thinking about how it was that I was forced as an 11-year-old to play the flute in Band class because my parents didn't or wouldn't consider buying me a saxophone. Then, the next thing I know, I've decided to buy my own reeded instrument and then fake it til I make it, I suppose. Well, that lasted about 2 days. I consider that to be a sad thing really, I would have thought I could have stuck it out for a least a week. Nope.

    Amazon has absolutely spoiled me. I buy the yearly subscription to Prime delivery, so I get anything and everything offered for free delivery, and there I am, literally ordering things to the tune of one or two things a day. I think maybe I should stop the practice, I shouldn't be so spoiled, but then the thought occurs to me that if Amazon didn't want to do this, they wouldn't have offered it. I paid, and they deliver, it's a really cool thing.  The dog lets me know when the Amazon truck is downstairs, and it's not just for me. My neighbors and I both order things at least 3 or 4 times each week, and we often bring each other's packages to their respective door(s). We even try to guess what the other person has purchased. Let me tell you, they had NO clue whatsoever that the Xaphoon was in that box! Who would think that?

    When it arrived I was super happy. I thought this is it, I'm going to open the box, put it together, and start the fun! That is NOT what happened. I did open the box, I did put it together, and nothing, nothing at all happened. I couldn't push air out my mouth in the manner of which was required, and it didn't matter how many YouTube videos I watched, it was NOT going to happen. I was quietly cussing at myself, but all the while I was saying things like "There has to be another way, I'm doing this wrong!"  I was doing it incorrectly, but I couldn't force my mouth to do what is required and I couldn't even make the dang thing honk! NOTHING!  More videos. More practice. More thinking. Less thinking. Nothing.

    Then, out of absolute sheer frustration, I ordered another instrument. This one was a Scottish whistle, which if I had to be honest, I never knew it was called that. We just called them long whistles when I was a kid. There it was, delivered by Amazon the next day, and get this, it was rubbish! It made noise alright, it made a great deal of noise. The tin instrument was cheap, yes, I understand that, but it was so base and so lousy at being a true musical instrument. Even if I had been the best whistler in the world (Not me) I couldn't have made this thing perform the way it should if you want it to sound like anything other than what it was; trash.  They both went back today. They were both unceremoniously returned to Amazon for a full refund! I don't even hate myself like I thought I would. I am not really even disappointed with myself. I play the flute, I can just work on that. 

    I did buy a book to retrain myself on how to read music. I do think I need that. I can't remember a thing from when I was a kid. I just remember faking the entire four years of Band, and pretending to be playing, when I was really just mixing in a note here and there to be able to keep my seat. I only played 6-9 grades; something about having to actually read music and do solos kept me from advancing. When I say I sucked at it, I'm being too kind. I was the worst. I think maybe I let it happen and now I want to rectify that part of my soul. I want to do music and if that means I have to relearn it I will do that. I am more mature now, and it may actually be fun. I just have to do it with the flute, and get over my once obsession with the saxophone. Let it go!! 

    Amazon, Amazon! Such a First-World thing. I think about Prime and ask myself if I could live without it. I'm pretty sure I did for most of my life, so yeah, it would be difficult but I could do it. I literally ordered the shampoo and conditioner I wanted on Amazon because I didn't see it at the store and thought maybe Amazon would have it. They did. They had it, and it was a bit cheaper too! What the heck! I am too spoiled and I ask myself at least three times a week if I need to be so spoiled. Then I order something else and it's delivered the next day and I am smiling again. Wow, I am really quite shallow, or maybe I'm easily entertained. I'm not sure which. Maybe both.

    I just found out that Amazon has their own brand name products as well, which is going to be tested. I don't mind store brands. I won't buy their coffee, not going to happen, but I will try other things that they make or lend their name to. We'll see. If I can think of something I'll let you know, but for now it is good to know that I'm capable of knowing I suck at the Xaphoon and the Scottish whistle apparently, and Amazon has my back on their return policy.  I don't ever actually ask for a refund. I just keep it in the account. I'm going to order again, they know it, I know it. I sometimes have credit. I like that. I feel like it's a bonus or something when really it's just me taking things back. I'm not that person who takes everything back, but if it doesn't meet my expectations, it's going back.  They don't charge me for the return, and that's another reason to love living right here in America. I can jump in my car, and drive the 1/2 mile to the UPS store to drop off the Amazon returns. So easy. So easy. Too easy.  Thank you, Amazon.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

America Vs. Britain (or Really, Anywhere)

 I watch quite a few vloggers and YouTubers online who are either English or Scottish and they have an entire existence online supported by and created by making comparisons between our countries. It's become a thing really. I'm almost sure, but not quite, that there are Americans who do the same thing, but for some reason, I only find the ones who originate from Britain; with the exception of Laurence Brown, who is yes, a Brit, but now lives in Chicago.  Laurence is hilarious and deserves everyone's attention. He's to be found on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/c/LostinthePond.  I'm not saying he's my favorite, but he is right up there! Two things that set Laurence and Shaun Alexander of Edinburgh, apart and separate from others are that they both compliment and applaud the United States more often than they try to find ways to slam it.  Shaun's YouTube is found at: https://www.youtube.com/c/ShaunVlog (and if you're thinking of coming after Shaun, you need to know, he's been made an honorary Texan, so you may have to back off!) (Smile)

    It's been over a year now since I've been interested in watching vloggers try and compare the two sides of the Atlantic. I find it fascinating, fun, and often interesting to find so many vast and subtle differences between the people, the places, the food, the mannerisms, the behaviors, and of course, the words we each use. Americans can be so direct, and according to every YouTuber who has ever encountered Americans both in their country and ours, we're rather loud, sometimes obnoxious, we take our sports a bit too seriously, and we fly the American flag a bit more often than any of them expected. That's actually a good thing.

    Shaun and Laurence discuss the interesting differences, show their interest or lack of it, and discuss the nuances of these differences. There are YouTubers who I won't mention, who are nothing more than spoiled poshy Gen Xers who feel the need to take donations from their subs, hop flights to the U.S., stay in expensive B&Bs and run about trying to find ways to piss Americans off by trying to compare our culture to their culture in ways that both offend and set keyboards flying. It's all or ratings. These boring brats realize that they don't have what they really want and can't get it in England, so they come here looking for fame. Face it, the audience is so much bigger! Let's see, three hundred and eighty million vs maybe 18 million if you include all of the UK? Yeah, we can fit England plop dropped in the center of Oklahoma and still have room to drive around the state, circling your borders. Oklahoma isn't even one of the larger states. Pretty sure we're a more diverse lot than you like to say we are.

    Making general statements about Americans can't be taken too seriously. There are simply too many of us to do that. Even Americans would have a difficult time saying "All Americans" are this way or that way. We have to say most, or some, or a good portion of...but these two Brits who like to think of themselves as educated puffballs, tend to throw around innuendo as well as banter which they feel is humorous; thinking they'll kiss-kiss to the camera and all will be better. I don't find them cute. I don't find them funny. I don't find them entertaining. I find them corrupted by what they think is fame. One of them, the woman, makes such a big deal out of times when men find her attractive enough to chat her up; she cringes at it if the man isn't a Prince Charming. Shallow much? The man isn't too much better, but at least he understands what fandom is.  It's fake, and it's not as secure as they may believe. Fickle really.

    When I think about it, and I do, I am quite proud of my Scottish ancestry. I am both Scottish and English, with a touch of Italian and Iberian thrown in for good measure. The Scots/English battle for my blood percentage is too close to count, and for that, I'm very sad; being far more culturally connected to the Scots than the English. I tell people that I tend to fight with myself and my Iberian ancestors to have to step in and keep me in check from time to time. I am quite proud of who I am and who I came from, but after years of personal research, travel, experience, and thoughts about actually moving to Scotland; I've decided that visiting may be the end all decision and I'll just forego the Southwestern summers for a bit of reprieve, but America takes the win in my soul.

    There's a reason more than 30,000,000 of us Americans living today have Scottish ancestry, and over 63,000,000 living Americans (some overlap) who have English ancestry.  The reason(s) vary from being asked to leave, to voluntarily leaving, and some were fortunate enough to make the decision without there being a political reason.  My personal story is that my people on my dad's side came over in 1660 from Edinburgh. I'm not really sure about Mom's side, they were the English, and they weren't fighting with themselves. I think her side came across the pond in the mid-1800s.  We've been flying that American flag at our house(s) for literally centuries. We have a lot of family traditions that stem from the Old Country, of course, but we have created our own as well.  I'll keep loving my people and who they are, who they were, what they did for all of us, but I won't change much about anything I do, say, write, act, feel, or believe. I'm just not bothered enough to think it's wrong or that it needs to change.

    I like my creature comforts as an American. I've written about the inconveniences before. I rather enjoy doing laundry and drying my clothes in a hot tumble dryer. I like running tap water from a faucet that has one handle. Love me some air conditioning, and real gas heating, and there's so much to be said for screens on the windows and doors. I like having larger yards, two-car garages, garbage disposals, and being able to drive where I need to drive without gasoline costing me more than my mortgage. I like being able to tell the government to fuck off without it being a national crime, and God knows I'm damn glad we don't bow to some stupid jacked-up concept of a family who thinks they deserve more than a pie to the face! Talk about outdated and obtrusive! Our president, my president, Donald Trump, didn't accept a penny for salary when he was in office. No Brit can say that.

    I do like the concept of having free medical for the people. I will agree that the NHS does a superior job when it comes to taking care of its own. I am not above tipping my hat when it needs to be tipped.  Other than that, I'm thinking America is the one place nearly every Brit wants to visit. I'd say a lot of Americans want to visit Britain, but not all of them.  After the culture shock of being forced to seat themselves at a restaurant, most Americans still end up tipping even though the service is crap since their waitstaff is paid a working salary. There is no incentive to make the customer happy. Americans come back from the UK happy to have been there, but happier to be home where they can relax and take in a college team sport. (OK, they also enjoy legalized cannabis, we have to be honest. I don't, but a lot of Americans do. More and more Brits are moving to America these days for the same)

    With the uncertainty of these times concerning Russia/Ukraine, the Nordstream pipeline, and other events which could leave the UK (islands really) stranded and in need of literally every type of anything from fuel to food, it's no wonder our borders are being flooded with more and more Europeans coming across the ocean to seek a better and more fulfilling life.  Laurence Brown has been here for over 14 years. He loves it. Shaun has visited half a dozen times, and he loves it. I think time will see more and more good solid people who have just had enough; who want more, coming to America.  The melting pot just keeps boiling -- and that old flag, she keeps waving, as she welcomes them all to her shores. 

God Bless the U.S.A.

    

Photo Credit: Ebay