You've heard people say "That person is on the Spectrum" as if the Spectrum was an amusement park ride or something. It's almost as if they are saying it (sometimes) as if the person has a problem that can't be addressed with reason or training. Guess what folks, we are ALL on the Spectrum. That's sort of why it's called the Spectrum. We are all on separate points if you will, at various levels, points, scores, scales, whatever you want to call it, each and every last one of us make up the actual Spectrum. It's just that some people with special needs are called out for having been placed on it, while those of us who are considered "normal" or "healthy otherwise" are patted on the back and told how superior we must be because of our ability to function. Shame on us if we ever do that!
Once, I was obligated by morals and ethics to point this point out to a person who was training me on my position. Sweet as she was, she was behind the gun herself in terms of what is contractually obligated for her to produce for the company. Training me or anyone else, for that matter, takes time away; valuable time, and she needed to regain it as quickly as possible. I do understand, but if she wanted me to do the best job possible she needed to understand that we are not all created equally, no matter what our forefathers may have told us. Each of us is a learner and we learn in various varied ways. Some of us are readers and we think, and some are doers and we do. Some of us do both, need both, have to have both, and then we have to see it again, create images of it, and so forth. No one is saying any one way is better, but it did seem to irritate my trainer that I wasn't as quick to pick up the reasoning and understanding of certain tasks.
One of the ways I tried to assist with her understanding of training me was remind her that I am also a teacher, a trainer, and that from all the (many) years I've had students under my charge, I can guarantee you that not one of them was exactly like the other; that goes for twins too! No one is the same. I also reminded her that each of us takes in to consideration the scope and essence of an idea and we roll it around in our brains, even toying with it, before we make decisions about it to the point of cognitive reasoning. I challenged her to Google it since she's of the ilk that likes to gauge everything by what can be found on a search engine. Go ahead. I know I'm right, Google that!
I asked my trainer this question; tell me if you agree. I asked her, "Have you ever played football?" She said she had. I asked her if she had ever run the plays as directed or if she just took off running hoping no one would catch her and drag her to the ground. She assured me she listened to the coach. I said "OK, I'm listening to you. Are you going to hand me the ball and point or are you going to explain things to me and show me the obstacles in my way? Do you want me to make the play or lose ground?" She got my point. You don't do something once and then say it's been discussed so do it. You don't say "We recorded it so you could go back and watch the recording" because the recording was 1:37 hours long and I wouldn't know exactly where that one small point was in the recording. I could spend 30 minutes looking for a 15 second clip. It's best all around to just tell me again - - no skin off anyone's teeth, and it brings a bond between us. I appreciate her, she understands that I trust her enough to ask.
Because we are all different, I wanted to also show her that in my personal experience, once I have something down, I have it down. I still remember the cheers I wrote in the 7th grade for myself and other girls. I remember the moves, I remember the cadence. It's in my brain. In the 3rd grade I learned a song for all 50 states in alphabetical order (you're singing it now aren't you?) and I remember it. It will never leave me. Once I learn it, it is learned. This was the main reason I became upset with her when she changed the training to reflect a new or different way of recording information. I had learned it already and the new way would all but eliminate the old way, making it impossible for me to get it out of my head! Sort of like when the judge tells the jury to disregard that last statement - - not happening. I will never not remember the way I was trained and now I have to paint over the old and hopefully it won't bleed through at the wrong time.
We are all on the Spectrum, and every day, 100 times a day, our emotions or composure can change us to the point that those scores change a bit -- it's fluid in a way. We need to recognize that others are in the middle of emotional battles every day, and not everyone is "sane" or "normal" all of the time. Many of us face issues so personal that we don't bring them to the surface at work but they are there. It could be loneliness, homelessness, addiction, abuse from a loved one, maybe someone we love is dying, it could be anything -- stress, anxiety, just hunger. Anything can trigger the scores to move a bit, and to shut off our learning cells long enough for us to record the information incorrectly in our minds, or even skip instructions if we are feeling overwhelmed. We'll still say everything is fine so we don't lose our jobs, or we don't upset the applecart, but the truth is we need a break!
I count my blessings, which is a great way to reassure myself that all is going to be just fine. If I lose a job and get depressed over it, I know that God will find me another one, and I'll be OK soon enough. I can't waste my soul worrying over things I can't control. I can control my breathing most of the time, so when I get upset I try to breathe. This often makes things quiet for a minute and the other person has the opportunity to ask if everything is OK. I don't know about you, but I am usually pretty honest, and I tell them no, it's NOT OK. I'm overwhelmed and need to stop for a minute, take a mental note, take a break, walk around, get my thoughts gathered, and come back to it when I'm able to forge ahead. We all need that -- I wish more educators, parents, employers, even friends understood that. We can't be the same as the next guy - - we are THIS guy! It is supposed to be this way. It was designed to be this way. We were asked and even commanded to be patient and to to help and encourage. There's is not ONE verse in our Holy Scriptures that say to be rude, uncaring, forceful or overbearing. Quite the opposite. We are to love, cherish, care for, and be willing to help.
It is written, so let it be done! Be kind to others. You really just don't know what is going on with them. This is Mental Health Awareness Week (May 9-15 2022) Be thoughtful as you think about what you can do for yourself and others. It really really really does matter both in the long run and in the immediate.
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