Once a mom, always a mom. I guess you can say the same about a dad, but there are just so many more cases when a child is made fatherless by the choice of a parent than the other way around. At least that is the experience I have both as a person who has been through a extreme divorce, and a person who taught many hundreds of children who have been through the divorce and separation of family as well. When I was divorced and going through a child custody Battle Royale, my ex was able to convince the judge that I was a maniac and that I had mental illness. I think he used my raging hate and distain for him as a backdrop for his evidence. Could have been the fact that I not only threatened him with the business end of my Remington, but I learned to box as a younger sister and I let the man have it to the point of finding himself face down a few times either on the carpet or the concrete. You just don't piss off a Southern mama. (FYI, I still box, and I'm just as good with my left as I am my right.)
Whatever the reason, the stupid and inexperienced judge took my custodial rights away from me, claiming I was a potential hazard to my kids. Asshat! The thing is, as a Southern mama, I was protecting my kids to the point of death, and that's something that the Yankee-born judge wasn't familiar with. I suppose there are more subtle and gentle ways for a woman to show her methods of protection, but for me it was "come near here again, and you'll face Jesus!" Looking back, I don't regret a thing I said, nor a thing I did. The kids ended up with me in due time, and having suffered at the hands of a truly mentally ill parent, they were grateful to be in the capable hands of a mad old wet hen!
The judge decided that day, the day she took away my rights, to have both myself and my ex tested on a very professional clinical level so she could make a permanent decision for the custody of said children. She had us both subjected to a $1500.00 (fifteen hundred dollar) test, that took over four (4) hours to complete. By the time I got to through 10 minutes I was already bitching about the fact that the test seemed to be asking me the same questions over and over again and they weren't even clever enough to dress up the way they asked the question. It was quite literally the same question verbatim! I think it was designed to see how we would react after the 11th time to be asked. Bottom line, the results of the test proved that I am an E.N.T.J. (Myers Briggs) and he is something else, I can't remember, and I really don't care. My E.N.T.J. attitude and personality was all she needed to see to make a determination that I wasn't necessarily crazy, but I was blunt, forceful, honest, truthful, determined, dedicated, committed, and commanding. I was argumentative, I was demanding, I was insistent and I was expectant! She gave me the kids with an official apology from the Court.
Today, my 33 year old daughter was at the local Tag Agency getting her license renewed. Mind you it was to expire on Tuesday and this is the Friday before that. She had to be wrangled to go, and I had to literally driver her there to be sure she did it. That one can procrastinate and it ends up costing her fees and penalties. I didn't want her to have to go to the DMV to wait in line and prove she is an American if she didn't get the damn thing renewed today!
We get to the agency and she's being questioned by two men who were fighting to speak to her. (She's cute, and she' looks 18.) Both men were in their early to late 20's and they were going over her application and checking out her address and noticing that she didn't have an apartment number but the records show she did. She confirmed she did, and one wanted to know if she lived alone! WHAT THE HELL? She was about to answer, Laura's like that, she just answers, but before she could get a word out of her mouth Mama clicked! I click. I use my tongue and I make a clicking noise. It's how I train horses, and for over 36 years now, it's how I get the attention of my kids.
When Laura looked back I ran my hand across my throat to gesture not to answer the question. She smiled and said "I live with my brother. He's in the Army." What an answer! I would have said, "I live with Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson", but OK, that works. The next guy wanted to know if she had horses since she had a horse on her phone case. She answered. He wanted to know more. She answered. He asked if he could come ride with her. I laughed. She laughed. We both just laughed. Why do people think it's OK to ride someone else's horse? NO...you can not ride my horse, he'll throw your ass before you sit down on him. He's a bit of a brat! She smiled politely and asked him if he had ever ridden. The answer is always the same. They rode in camp when they were 10.
Anyway, the flirting went on and on, with Laura being far too sweet to stop either of them, but I could tell she wanted to be saved. I looked up and said something like "Are you almost finished sweetheart we need to get you back to the center for treatment." She turned and looked them in the eyes and in her best A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) voice began her goodbyes. Laura is a talented voice actor as well as a gifted horse trainer. It was just hilarious to see them back away from the counter at the same time as she took her new license (papers, they don't really give you a license now, they mail that.) She looked at me as we walked away and said "Thanks, Mom. I don't like to be rude." Well, I have never really had a problem with it.
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