This past week a rather interesting man passed away and though there was a bit of sweet remembrance, there wasn't the ungodly fanfare and rumor-flying gossip that is often associated with famous and even the infamous passing from this Earth. Mike Nesmith, lead guitarist and singer in the more-than-just-fictional band The Monkees, passed of natural causes at the age of 78. I know, people will say (even Mike said) that The Monkees weren't REALLY a band. They played a band on television, and they pretended to be a musical group. They even released albums as a band, and most of us knew later on, after we grew up and figured it out for ourselves, that the musicians behind the music were paid studio musicians, but Mike Nesmith was an actual singer, and actual songwriter, and yeah, he played guitar fairly well. I liked the guy; even though I was in "Camp Mickey". I will admit that now. I was into the drummer.
When Mike Nesmith passed and I saw a little something written about him, I couldn't help but ask myself what happens when someone who isn't so famous, but maybe we like their music, or maybe we bought their music, what happens when they fall ill, pass away or even relapse into depression or worse? Are we (as fans or followers) part of the "those in the know" about such a person? Would it be too much information to give to the public at large? When is too much too much? When does it become public knowledge when one of the not-so-recognized becomes a statistic? Is it meant for us to wonder about the safety and well being of that musician, songwriter, singer, or performer? Do we (as fans and followers) even have the RIGHT to wonder? Who decides that? I mean, they sort of put themselves in the light, right? They wanted us to see them and pay for their music, their movies, their performances for hire, but is it suddenly hands off when they fall from grace, die, or become less than loveable? I don't think it's right to keep those who made the light shine to be kept in the dark.
I understand the need to be private and the desire to be quiet about private matters. There seems to be a bit of a balance really, and often times it's a one-way street that only the performers can travel. They don't particularly know or even care if one of their fans falls off the wagon, so maybe they think it's no one's business if they skip a beat. Then again, if I had thousands of followers and I was depressed or feeling like I needed a collective hug, I think I may just reach out to those very people and ask questions, seek answers, find ways to communicate on another level rather than just saying (without saying) "Thanks for buying my music and putting food on my table, but yeah, I'm not going to tell you about my actual life. You don't deserve to know anything. You just keep forking out the money and listening to me." Maybe it's just me, but I would write a blog, a song, have a YouTube dedicated to it, or open a live Zoom chat for anyone who loved me. I would say "Hey, I know you think you know me, but you didn't know I'm really struggling right now. I don't need your money. I need your thoughts, your prayers, your suggestions, maybe. I need to know I have a real base, not just a fan base. Anyone who is willing to stay and chat with me, please do." I'm just saying before I let it go too far I would reach out to the thousands and not hide from them.
Recently, I've been in the closet praying for someone who means a great deal to me. I don't really have the right, (a right) to be considered a friend, but I am considering him my heart's assignment. I am not praying for the man because I'm all warm and fuzzy and can offer him the comfort he's always sought. No, God asked me to pray for the often prickly and insensitive sort. He doesn't mean to be untouchable, I think he's been pushed, prodded, mishandled, abused, used, and set up to be thrown down, just a few too many times. He couldn't reach out if he wanted to because of the backlash he'd cause within his own family if he did.
I think the family thinks it's best if he hides. I think the family thinks they're doing the right thing by keeping him quiet, and not telling the world or allowing him to tell the world his needs. This hurts on a deeper level than just him being an assignment for me. He's a Christian man. The Bible is very clear about reaching out and sharing our pain with other Christians so that we can all support and uphold the weak among us. Think of this song, "Lean on me, when you're not strong. I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on." When we need it, we should ask for it. There are those of us who are built tough enough to be the one called upon to pray and fast for healing, guidance, protection, and wisdom.
I don't know. I understand some privacy. I understand some drawing back. I understand some withholding; it's not good to share all of your dirty laundry, I know that, but at the same time it's good to be comforted by those who have already been there or those who are educated and experienced in whatever it is. If it's absolutely medical, in that the man is dying, dead, or otherwise incapable of reaching out, well then, perhaps a mention or update would be considered so that he doesn't simply fade into the gray to become a memory to some and less to most. Is that fair to what he created? Is that what he would want?
Well, I'll let it go for now, but keep my rock in my hand as I hang out in the closet with my clothes and those boxes I've been saving all year to pack Christmas presents into. I know I have been asked by God to be there when the time was necessary for the intercession and I guess this is it. This is that time. I may not now, I may not ever know the situation, but that's not the assignment is it? No, it's not for me to question, but to do. I'm pretty good at doing. I'm not good at not knowing. God's working on me; it's ongoing. I'm getting better, I promise. WE (Christians) won't be here on this Earth collectively much longer. If I don't find out now what I think I need or want to know, I'll find out later, and in the end, in the actual end, there is a beginning of eternity. To be honest, not one thing (not a single damn thing) that happened here will really even matter. King Solomon told us didn't he? It's vanity. All of it. Nothing is worth worrying over. Give it to God and breathe.
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