The Benefits of Living Alone

 There have been only a few times in my life when I have actually lived on my own without having someone in the next room to either pester or be pestered by, and it looks like I'm about to come up to the next time!  (I'm giggling with glee because I thought I had this taken care of over 6 years ago.)  Years back I was living on my own here in Oklahoma, but Laura, my daughter who was up in Indiana, just HAD to have me move back up with her so she could make ends meet. Well, instead of getting our own place, we were sort of forced to finish her lease with her then boyfriend, and after that was up she decided to move back to Oklahoma and live with her dad for a minute until she could get her own place. This left me with a choice between living with the ex-boyfriend or my son (also in Indiana) and without a job that paid enough for me to move back to Oklahoma immediately, I moved in with my son.  

    Soon after that I found a good paying job in Oklahoma, worked a month in Indiana to get the funds to make the move and there I was....free!!  Free to live in my own place! YEA!!  So I did that, right? I had a little two bedroom house on a really cozy cute street. It was close to everything and it was affordable, adorable, and just mine. It was mine for less than a month before the kid (my 2nd) decided that her dad wasn't the best choice, and yeah, she wanted to move back in with her mom. I am a mom. I am a good mom. Scratch that, I am a DAMN good mom. I let her move in with me and I really thought I was looking at a year tops, but nope. It's been over six years now. Kinda glad to see this chapter of our lives move forward, just too many pages to flip to get to the next phase! 

    We currently live in a really nice apartment complex that I have lived in over five separate times in my life and she's lived in a few times as well with me.  She and her sister had their first independent apartment here as well, and there aren't enough sentences to describe how horribly awful/awesome that was. It was a living and creatively strange way of life for the both of them. Let's just say I won't be able to put into print all the things that happened just 100 feet from my back door. The clean up when they were asked to leave cost me a little over $2000.00.  Did I mention I was a DAMN good mom? Since Caity was then living with me, and Laura had an offer to move in with her cousin 100 miles away, I decided to move to Texas into another two bedroom house on another really cool street because I was working on a feature film about my dog, and needed to move -- being with a kid wasn't a problem until it was a real problem. Laura came back. I think I may be a kid magnet, but I'm not sure.

    THIS IS IT!  I have made up my mind, and Laura has even given her approval. I'll be moving out in about two months to an apartment in the same complex and probably only 50-100 feet away from my little one (who is now 32 years old).  We went over the various good and great reasons why this would be the best decision for both of us. I'll let her keep the two bedroom unit and I'll take the one bedroom unit because this way I can say NO to anyone who asks to move in with me - - not that I would say no, but I can at least have a valid argument if I chose to.  My kids are OLD now. They are really really old, and two of them are married, they have their own houses, they are all three working. They are suitable, sustainable, responsible adults...let's see if we can keep it that way! Leave MOM ALONE!!

    Here are some of the benefits on both sides of the coin dealing with being on my own. I'll start with what Laura gets out of the deal.

• She can make all the messes she wants to in the kitchen without the fear of me coming in behind her to clean them up.
• She can leave her towels and clothes on the floor without the fear of me coming in behind her to clean it up.
• She can have her rescues, her dogs,  her cats, her damn unicorns if she wants, but I don't have to step over their toys, beds, food bowls, pens, or anything regarding or relating to tack!
• She can keep her curtains drawn and her doors closed. 
• She can stay on her computer 24/7 if she wants to without me bothering her about it.
• She can eat PopTarts for breakfast and ramen for dinner without me trying to force her to eat better.
• She can play her X-box without me having her switch it back so I can see the weather that she thinks I can watch on my phone, but I can't because I didn't download the app.
• She can dance and sing without me videoing and telling all my friends (and the world) how great she is.
• She wants my bedroom! It's the bigger one and it has a bathroom in the room so she won't have to travel through the clutter in her room to get to the toilet at night. I've heard her trip and fall a few times. 

    What do I get out this? Oh, you thought she had it good. No.....you have no idea how freeing and how gloriously wonderful this is.  I don't know if I have enough space or bullet points to do this justice, but here we go.

• I can listen to my music loudly, and by loudly I mean loudly. I won't have to put up with her coming into my room and using hand gestures to silence me.
• I can eat my food without it being gone because now when I buy food I can only hope it's there when I go for it.
• I can come into an apartment and smell the latest incense I had burning earlier or on the warming plate and not ode de cat litter.
• I won't be stumbling over cat boxes, litter boxes, tack boxes, dog bowls, pet beds that seem to find their way in the middle of the hall, and sometimes I have strange new animals in my bed expecting me to share my comforters with them. I always share my comforters with them. I'm not about to turn a sweet fuzzy face down, there's no way. 
• I will have 3 large closets to store my things, and nothing will be out of place now. NOTHING.
• I can have a full dining area room sized area to exercise in and not have to retract when I stretch or push the couch back to have more room. I'll have more room.
• I'll buy new furniture that won't be torn up by dogs and cats.
• I can dance in the living room, kitchen, dining room, my room, the bathroom, outside. I can dance and not embarrass my kid. 
• I can burn SANDALWOOD (and cedar, teakwood, and patchouli) again!!
• My place, my entire place, will be clean and free of tiny cat litter pellets that get in my socks and bug the crap out of me all day.
• I'll have a patio with a fence and my dog can be outside when she wants to be.
• I can open the windows and the curtains to let in light.
• I can do my laundry and know that my socks will be in my drawer and not carried off under the couch.
• I can smoke my little cigar.
• I don't have to look at that Texas Longhorn sweatshirt I bought for a friend and ended up giving it to Laura so it wouldn't be thrown out.

    Honestly, there's just so many things to be thankful for. I'm so very happy I have my daughter so close, and we can go out to dinner, we can go to the store together, we can hang out, go to the lake, but you know what, at the end of the day (unless there is a tornado) we will be sleeping in our own places and waving good night to each other through the window while we're talking to each other on the phone. The cord stretches across the breezeway apparently, but at least it's longer than it is right now. Many people told me they would feel so sad for Laura if I decided to move. She is the one who was hoping I would make the suggestion. I could have done this a year ago! She's not only ready for me to leave, she's agreed to help me pack my bags, boxes, and stuff and carry it over to the new place! What a doll. This is going to be good for the both of us. If she really got lonely she could pull her curtains open and watch me dance.

    

    When I was thinking and planning on moving to Scotland she wasn't thrilled because she wouldn't have someone to hang with, shop with, go to the barn with, and all that, but now she's OK with me being out from under her feet, and she's more than OK with not having to eat everything I force on her to eat. I cook and I don't like cooking for one so I cook for two and guilt her into eating it when I don't want to save it for the next day. It's a mom thing. I'm good at it.  Say a few prayers for us! We'll be OK, but at least we'll be independent and happy enough to do our own thing again -- I hope it lasts a long time for both of us. Woot!