There I was, you know me, minding my own business, because you know, that's what I do. I was stretching, leaning, basically making myself as uncomfortable as I possibly could after having finished a 30 minute power walk, a fast and easy few-minutes session on the vibration plate using a 10-pound bar, when I realized, quite unmistakably that my yoga pants were in deed inside out. Yep, that's me, walking around the hood, even the grocery store, being seen, waving at everyone, just you know, hanging with the peeps completely unaware that my yoga pants were literally inside out. The only excuse I have is that I have no real excuse. I was just in a hurry. I will say that I laughed at myself. I nearly strained a muscle after I laughed but yeah, I did find it pretty humorous that my wardrobe (on the next to the last day of the year) pretty much summed up my 2021. How about you? Are you relating to me right now?
My dog (Ginger) gets a little too excited when she sees me slip my house shoes on because she knows we're about to take a hike. It's not much of a hike when I wear them, maybe just a few laps around the complex, but she's gonna see people, meet and greet other dogs. I wanted to make it a quick thing so I could get back to the business of being fit, but she needed to go. She's gonna ignore my pleas to hurry things along, she's gonna smell things...everything. For her it's a bathroom break deluxe when we go outside together. Her "toilet" is the world! She could go anywhere and does, without any hesitation unless you count the endless moments she actually takes to sniff the ground before squatting. That can take a minute. She's not the fastest pisser in the West.
When we got back today from the morning jaunt, she and I prepared ourselves for the real stuff. First, the breakfast shake, then the light stretching before we both stand on the vibration plate from anywhere between 10-15 minutes. I typically dance a little, bend and move that butt around while she jumps on and off of the plate barking at it. She's been on it for over a year now, but she still likes to tell it off for shaking her booty as much as it does. When you bend over on the thing you can really feel it in your back, so I like to do that to loosen up the lower extremities. Next, after the plate, is the all-important-never-to-be-skipped yoga mat where doggy-down is the first stance both Ginger and I take before seriously getting twisted and trying to out do one another. It may or may not be advised to try an outdo your dog on a yoga mat. I'm not a doctor of medicine, but I will say that the work out is often more rewarding when you're accompanied by a good (and quite limber) friend. Ginger wins most of the time.
So, I am in the middle of a butt tightening exercise; the one where you sit up on your knees with your hands in front of you, and you put one of your legs out (extending it as far as you can) and then you draw it back in, do this several times, and then you switch legs. You know the one. I put the right leg out to my side and saw the outline of my pocket. My pocket was closed up. My pocket was not accessible. My pocket was on the outside of my leg. I'm not kidding you, I still had my leg extended while I was looking at my pocket in complete confusion. Ginger barked. I came to my senses, and I lowered my leg. My yoga pants were, and had been, inside out. Wow. Yeah. Wow.
Rather than take them off, turn them around and redress myself, I just sort of shrugged my tired aching shoulders and continued my torture. What's another few minutes if I've already gone all morning with my unbelievably unaware self? No worries. I'll blame it on the launching and preparation of the new 5G radiation exposure we're all about to be subjected to. Come to think about it, maybe I actually can blame my behavior (or lack thereof) on the radiation - - it makes sense to me. Sure, I can do that. So after the next few minutes of lifts, twists, dance moves, dog lifting, and a few jumps of the heavy rope, I decided to turn my yoga pants to their rightful position, but then realized I had to take them off anyway to shower. I mean, I didn't have to. I could leave them on I suppose. Why not? That's the sort of year I've had; I may as well end it in the same "fashion".
January started out pretty good. I had lost quite a bit of weight, I was really excited about my future as an at-home insurance advisor, but the company bailed and I was forced to find not-so great work, but at least I was working. I think working trumps being poor and begging on the streets any day. February through May went well weight and diet wise, I even managed to generate more work leads and keep my head afloat. With all the pandemic lags and restrictions, I wasn't able to study for the SIE exam the way I wanted to in the spring, so come April when I took the test, I bombed it. I sucked!! I can't tell you how badly I sucked, I'm not sure there's a case study for that sort of thing. Let's just say I had no business thinking I could sit that test in April.
Over the summer months I was able to study a bit more, but with the horses, the kids, life, and a few other things kicking into gear, my study was put on hold. August rolled around and rather than accept a training position with a company that demanded I wear a mask, I accepted a teaching job, only to be told I had to wear a mask after being hired. No worries, my doctor gave me an exemption letter - - so did my pastor, but the school wasn't too keen to exempt someone from wearing a mask on religious grounds. I was exempt from wearing my mask, but just two or three days later I was released from work under suspicious and strange circumstances. Though I am prohibited from going into the details, the end result was that I was released from work, but still got paid! That's always nice. I even got a statement from the school district stating that the issue was resolved, no one was to be blamed, it just didn't work out the way they intended. Whatever that means. Just pay me, I'm good.
The best part about being home with pay was that I could actually put my mind to work on the SIE exam study, which I did, and I passed that exam just a couple of weeks ago. SUPER excited. SUPER happy. You can't count me as being any more thrilled than what I was the moment I saw the word "PASS" on that FINRA exam. With the SIE under my belt I can study for the Series 66/7 and trade to my heart's desire. My basic plan is to keep a stable portfolio for myself, and have a side gig with risky crazy penny stock trading to build up the portfolio and/or just have fun. I'm looking forward to losing as much as I am looking forward to earning. If I lose I gain knowledge. You can't buy knowledge, but you can sure learn from expenditures! Lessons are lessons and I'm willing to learn - - even with my pants on backward! That would have actually been a bit odd, not gonna lie - - I would have HOPEFULLY noticed that.
What an appropriate close to an awkward and confusing year. What an amazing start to an incredibly good new year. I'm back on track with the dieting, having taken a break to study harder from November to now. I wanted to be fluffy and full for the sitting of the exam, then for my birthday, then Thanksgiving, and into the Christmas holidays. It's a time of year when sugar cookies, gingerbread, and Stollen are just part of the daily diet. I don't mind the cheat, it means I am now able to start over and have the best of times with bringing it all full circle. Being back on track means I'll have a more focused mind and maybe I'll actually notice next time I have the labels of my britches sticking out rather than being tucked away - - then again, I could just claim it as a new trend. I'm all about not admitting to losing the game - - just maybe changing up the rules a bit!
No comments:
Post a Comment