I honestly did not start writing the book with the idea of having the hero (one of 4) being a sufferer of mental illness. I did however after it became apparent to me that I was in fact writing about it, decide that he should live with the condition and not be "healed" or "cured" of it. By allowing him to work through his issues he is a stronger character in my opinion. He recognizes that he is weaker at times, but that he is also capable of greatness at other times. He worries. He has depression. He has bouts of anxiety, and he has some self-doubt. I think I like the guy because he's still trudging through the days and nights, months, and even the years. He isn't quitting or throwing himself over the cliffs. He's upset, but he manages his emotions, and he gets help.
Ewan Hastings is the character. He starts out as a young kid whose parents leave him in Scotland when they make their voyage to Nova Scotia. They have just enough fare for the rest of the family, but at age 11 he'll be considered full fare, and they don't have it. He's left with relatives. He is then brutally attacked by scoundrels on the hills where he lives, he survives it but it leaves a lasting memory. He falls in love early, but she's older and has her life to live. He kills a man in honor of the woman he believes he loves, and there is a story that goes with that. I won't ruin it for you. Ewan grows up, matures, he marries, he suffers, he lives, he laughs, and he loves.
There are another two mentions of mental disorders in the book. One is a true disorder in that a girl is born with a deficiency. She is a twin, and that can happen. She was malnourished in the womb perhaps. She grows up somewhat normal, but it is evident that she is incapable of caring for herself as she ages. She is institutionalized and her treatment is not what we would expect in the world today (not by any means). The other instance is a historical one. It is a glimpse into the mind of a historical figure, and it is a mere mention of his sickness; it is believed he was a product of incest, and his was a life of violent outbursts. He is not alive during the time of our characters, he is mentioned in their past. He is not related to anyone in the book.
Why did I do that? Why did I purposely write about these and other issues? I think it's good to do so and to bring about wisdom, awareness, intel, and possibly dialogue about it. We need more dialogue. We have a lot of folks with a lot of different issues; why not talk about what we can do to ease their suffering? I think we all share a part in that. We are the larger community, and they are, as we are, a part of that community. I say we, I mean me. I have a few mental issues of my own. I am not full blown unempathetic, but I am somewhat so. I don't have the capacity to be as compassionate when I should probably be more compassionate. I try. I really do try, but it's not in me. I have been hurt and feel that, but that's not compassion. I have been broken, I have been touched by stories or images. I just don't have the wherewithal to truly understand it at its core. I see things so very differently than others, and I can come across as being rude, blunt, uncaring, or harsh when really I'm thinking of ways to ease someone's pain -- efficiently as possible. I need to be aware that being more compassionate would assist in these endeavors.
So there you have it. I am finished with the book. I went through it today to check for spelling. I am using the Scots language in some of it and needed to be consistent. I am not going all out on that either, as I want the English-only audience to be able to read what the characters are saying to each other. I think I managed it well enough. We'll see. I have sent it to about 20 people to read and give me feedback. If you think you would like to read it, please send me your email address and we'll talk to see if I think it would be a good idea to do that (since I don't know you). I have registered the book with the publisher and it is being registered with the Library of Congress, so I'm not worried about anyone stealing the idea. It's mine. I can prove it. Besides, there's nothing new under the Sun, right? Highlanders have been making love to their friends and family for centuries.
Hope to see the book on shelves by May 1. Wish me Jesus...I don't do luck.
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