Sunday, August 29, 2021

Homelessness for Children

 I could bore you with all the gory details, the stats on how many kids today are either homeless or without a bed to sleep in at night. I could tell you the numbers, draw your attention to the data, and cause your brain to dull out from overload; but I would rather just get your attention another way. I've been teaching in one capacity or the other since the beginning of the 21st Century. Though it doesn't seem like it. Sometimes it seems like it's been 100 years while other times I barely know I've learned anything at all about the profession. If I'm not learning on a daily basis I feel that I'm falling far behind my peers. One thing for certain that I do know without having to look it up in a book, online, or use a lifeline, is that children who are homeless do not thrive in educational environments due to the very base facts that they are displaced physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. These kids have a greater chance of self-harm than any other demographic.  Look it up. It's real.

    By nature (and perfect design) a child is brought into the world through the same old-fashioned way that every last one of us arrived here. We were either conceived in love or happenstance, but we were conceived and if we're living and breathing we were born. We weren't hatched and we weren't made in a baby factory, found under a cabbage, or brought to the doorstep by a big gangly stork. We were born. We may have been born to good parents; as being homeless does not mean that the people who find themselves in this situation are innately bad, but many are born into homelessness, abandonment, and in a general state of playing catch up from the day they arrived. It's not uncommon in my particular school district where I live, to run across kids who have lived on the streets for more than two years running. Some of the more grounded homeless kids are those who in fact have adapted to their living arrangements, be that as they may be. Some of the more challenging homeless students are the ones whose parents have only recently found themselves under more exigency times, and now they must face unbearable decision making regarding whether or not they can even find a way to get their child to school, to the place where he or she will at least be warm for eight hours, be fed breakfast and lunch, and at least have a roof over their heads for now.  No wonder these kids show up early and leave later in the day.

    A kid without a bed is a drastic thing. Sure, there are families living with other families too, and crowding too many faces into a house, I get that. We see that as often as we see kids living in cars, under bridges, and literally inside the bus stops. Driving to work each morning I pass the same woman and her two young daughters who have made rest at the back of a church; the church can't allow her to come into the building when it's closed, but at least I feel that when it is open they may allow her to wash up, use the restroom and maybe do something for her. I have stopped to talk with her, but she doesn't speak English and she's not willing to get too close to someone she fears could turn her over to authorities. It must be gut-wrenching for some of these immigrants who expose their souls to give their families a new way of life only to find themselves begging for bread and a place to wash their hands each day.  Dealing with issues I've never had to deal with, have really only read about and watched on television; these parents and children walk it, talk it, breathe it, move it, manage it, and when they can't manage it they lose it. I feel so helpless when I realize I can't do much more than pray.

    One of the statistics that just goes right through me is the fact that a homeless child is nine times more likely to fail a grade than any housed child.  A homeless child is displaced usually more than three times during a school year, and each time he or she is displaced, moved around, they lose nearly all of the educational study they may have begun to retain. The new school may not be teaching the same things, or it could be teaching exactly what the child has already gone over, so yeah, they may get that lesson down, but not the one before it which wasn't taught at the older school, but now maybe forever lost and you know there isn't time to go back over the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the "Tell-Tale Heart" or "The Giver" when the real questions sound more like "Where am I going to sleep, what am I going to eat, who is going to try to hurt me, when will this be over, and how do I even cope with all of this?"  

    Interestingly, one of my homeless students told me she was homeless. I think she did this because she understands that under Oklahoma law I must report it to the Department of Human Services, and maybe they can find her a shelter or a better way to cope.  She wanted me to know that even though she wasn't living in a home, more like a tent in the woods (her words) she would read every word of every story because it gave her an escape from her reality.  I couldn't hold back my emotions. I couldn't restrain my tears. We're not supposed to hug the kids really, those days have passed, but I couldn't stop myself from reaching for her and just squeezing her.  I let her know that if she ever needed more books she could take them. If she ever wanted more paper, pens, just anything I could provide, to let me know. You know I'm that teacher that finds a way to sneak an extra bit of string cheese, apple, Pop-Tarts, or something to the ones I know are struggling.

    When you think about the school year starting, and all you can think about is COVID-19 or if the school's teachers or students are wearing masks on their faces, change your thoughts every now and again to the harder colder reality that there are students who slept outside last night without blankets. There are students who eat once a day if they are lucky, and can only really get food at the schools.  Think of the kids who fight for everything they have, which may include the one pair of jeans they wear every day because they just don't have anything else. It is never, and I mean NEVER the kid's fault that they are homeless -- as a society, we need to do so much more, and I'm not talking about just building shelters. We need to build relationships. We need to understand that one terminated father or mother could lead to four starving children who lose it all -- over what? The father or mother may have used their cell phone during work hours to call home?  We have too many issues in this country to deal with to have to be so petty as to release parents from their jobs for lesser reasons.  The consequences are dramatic in most cases.  

    The Bethany Christ Trust, a homeless shelter and social refuge for people in crisis is a great place (in Scotland) helping more than 7,000 homeless people, many of them students, on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual basis.  We need more places like BCT here so kids can go into a safe place to talk to adults, get to know people who care, understand that there are ways to survive drastic circumstances. Through God, through Jesus, through the Spirit, there are ways to share our love and our resources. Until we come to these conclusions we are destined to repeat the strangely routine methods we've used for too long and that have caused so much damage.  A homeless child is five times more likely to succeed with a suicide attempt because they truly want out of their current pressures.  We need to stop that before it becomes six times, seven times, and more. We need to know the signs and be willing to reach out when our hearts are pricked - - will you help?

    Some of the signs that a child is homeless are: 

    They pull away from crowds, lay their heads down to rest more, hoard food, steal money and food, show up to school really early and stay really late. They often wear the same things, but they aren't clean most of the time. They talk about the days they had a house, if you listen to the way they say things you'll understand they are speaking in the past tense. When they had a house. When they were OK.  We should all be a part, or willing to be a part, to end this horrific reality for others. We are blessed.  We are given the responsibility to do more with that blessing. There, but by the grace of God, go each and every last one of us. Literally. 

    

Photo Credit: UNICEF


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