This will be rather short and to the point. I was asked today why it is that I continue to love and pray for someone who seemingly isn't interested in me either praying or loving him. I had to laugh. The subject of my prayers and love (not affectionate love, mind you, but honest love), has absolutely no authority whatsoever to ask me to stop praying for him and he has zero authority to ask me to stop loving him. It really isn't his choice - - anymore than it is MY choice. I did NOT choose to love him. I did NOT choose to pray for him. I did NOT ask for this assignment, but as I have said both to myself and others, you will NEVER catch me sleeping in the belly of a whale because I didn't do what God asked me to do. NOPE. Not this girl. I am never ever going to be treading water hoping to drown before a fish finds me and decides to keep me "safe" just long enough to erode my skin, starve me, dehydrate me to the point of exhaustion before dragging me up and down deep waters on a loopty-loop fish-rollercoaster while I have only the strength to pray and ask God for His forgiveness! I will ALWAYS do what I am asked to do; and if that means I get into the closet and pray for someone who I've never met - - seems pretty easy to me! That's what I'm going to do. It just feels really really good not to be all slimy with my hair full of fish mucus and so blinded by the absolute darkness that I can't see my hands folded in prayer before my face.
NO THANK YOU - - the man can go about his day to day, he can be who he's supposed to be, he doesn't have to contact me, he doesn't have to even KNOW that he's being prayed for. His mission is not my mission, and my mission is not his mission. I am going to do what I was asked to do, and I'm going to do it the best of my abilities because God was great and gave me the foresight to know when to pay attention to Him! Believe me, I've seen the gills in the past as they swam right past me. I know how close I've come to being considered BAIT. No thank you. I will just keep my feet dry and my soul connected to God. It just seems to work out best for me when I do. God will let the man know if God thinks the man needs to know. If the man argues with God because I'm praying for him, well all I can say is...belly up friend, hope you go down easy without too much of a fight. I wouldn't wish the belly of a fish on anyone! God has HIS way of getting our full attention, doesn't He?
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