This will be a short blog and very much to the point. There is a man reading this blog tonight - you were led here I know you were. I saw you in your den praying. I felt you, and I knew you would seek my help through prayer. I still don't understand why you don't fully surrender and simply call so we can pray together; but that will happen. I'm not worried about it. Tonight you're hurting and my heart is feeling swollen because of your pain. So I pray.
In my prayers tonight I pray not only for the decisions you are trying to make but also for the lives your decisions will touch. I've been praying for you for quite a while now, so you haven't been alone in your decision making. You have been protected by several angels and they have all reported that you are doing well but that you still haven't fully given in to the promises that you know are yours to claim. Religious thoughts and routine or prior training is one of the reasons you can't give it all up just now, but you want to, and that's a start. When you realize that God is not, Jesus is not, the same as they taught you - - He doesn't keep score, and He doesn't punish for what you're thinking of doing. He releases you because you trust Him to bring you that peace. He releases you, now it's your turn to release yourself. I'll catch you. You have a true friend and the good news is, I'm a forever friend - - past this life, way way into the next because we knew each other before and today is just another day of the continuium. Let go.
You know my number. We have work to do. I love you.