Sometimes you just need to reset. I do wish I had a download or upload capacity so that I could just plug into the Matrix and learn what it is that I have (or need) to learn. Then again, I'm perfectly happy with doing the whole student-study thing too. If I could make a living off of studying you'd see me doing exactly that. I love, I mean LOVE, to learn. I'm 100% behind supporting all sorts of educational programs and just stuff that really couldn't be less useful, but if someone (me) wants to learn it (Gaelic) I think I should have the right to do so; and I do. Thank you Jesus, I have that right. (Don't ask me to speak Scottish Gaelic, I really suck at it. I am having a great time learning it though.)
So here I was, as I usually am, just minding my own business, and I was studying for the FINRA Series 66 test, which is actually a NASAA test. NASAA is short for North American Securities Administrators Association. Each state in the country, and in some parts of Canada, have an Administrator who tells all of us what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and if we'll even end up doing it. We are quite literally at the mercy of the state Administrator in many respects. The test I'm studying for is called the Series 66 test, and it is a dominant test really, comprised of the equivalent of two other tests; the Series 63 and the Series 65. If you have the Series 66 under your belt, you can do far more than you could with either the 63 or 65. I'm super excited about it, but here's the deal: I was studying, thinking I was at the end of the material so I could take my exam this weekend and I just realized (through absolute accident) that I had only completed 48% of the material. WHAT? How is that even possible?
I put hours and hours, weeks into this study program. I woke up, walked the dog, had my coffee, wrote in my journal and then like clockwork, I headed off to the computer and studied. I went through the PassPerfect material. I did the online tests. I watched YouTubes with Dean Tinney (Thank you, Dean) and I did so many Quizlet flashcards on the subject, that my eyeballs are crossed. I dream about Securities! I thought I was READY! I passed the mock exams with at least a 75% and you only have to have a 73% on the real exam. Since I had consistently marked 75-78% (and yes, I made a 90 on one) I thought OK, I'm good! NO...NO...I am not good. I hit the NEXT button on PassPerfect to get my final results and they told me I had completed the first half of the material. I WAS GOBSMACKED and then I was upset, then I was confused, then I was nervous, then I was just plain pissed off. (for my UK friends that means I was mad, not drunk)
Since my test was actually scheduled for Saturday, and this is Thursday, I decided to reschedule. You know, reset, and start the process over to a degree. NOPE. That didn't happen. The rules for the FINRA tests are different from others, I wasn't allowed to reschedule. I could either take the test and blow it and not be allowed to take it again for 30 days, or I could cancel the test, lose the $177, and repay the $177, and schedule it for 3 weeks down the road. You may ask what's the difference? The difference is if you pass it you pass it, but if you fail it you have that hanging over your head and you can't say you passed it the first go. You can't say you passed it if you failed it. I don't like failing. I would rather lose the money and reschedule on my terms! (Besides, 3 weeks sounds better than 30 days, and I was able to schedule it on my son's birthday. I feel pretty good about that.)
If you fail the exam you can take it again in 30 days. But, you have to schedule it after the 30 days so it could be 45-60 days. I didn't want to wait that long, and as I said, I don't want to say I failed. I can retreat and/or regroup, that's inside me, but to say I failed just rips my soul. I am a rather stubborn and proud woman, I suppose. So the bottom line is that I did not read the full set of instructions (then again, I didn't know I had longer instructions to read) and I wasn't ready for the exam. I did this the first time I sat for the SIE as well, but having no other option, I took the test and failed it beyond failure. I was just a mess and really hated myself when I got to the test and realized I did not know the answer to at least half of the 85 questions. The Series 66 has 110 questions. You have to have a 73 and I want that 73! I refuse to fail again; not if I can help it. I can reset. That is not a problem.
Tonight I breathe. I take a hot bath, I meditate, I may even sit in the prayer closet and just let Jesus know that I'm OK and He's OK, and we're going to make this a good next few weeks so that I can attack this exam from a true position of preparedness. I owe it to myself to be the best I can be, and when I fail I fail myself. I can't live with myself when I do that. If you can, more power to you, but I need to be more in control of my own destiny. I hated to find out the way I found out. I would loved to have known a few days ago, but it is what it is. Money is money, and I don't like to use it, but God saw to it this week that I earned a bit more than I do normally - - and now I know why. It's always amazing to me to see and know that God has it all under His plan and His control. I learned something, and I was able to withstand the blow due to the fact that He had my back!
Reset. Redo. Rewind. Relax.
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