Oh, let's just for the sake of argument say that you're lying there, minding your own business, and God decides you need to do something for Him. He's God, right? He can do that. He can just simply "decide" that you need to do something. You don't have to do it, no, you actually have a choice in the matter. Jonah certainly opted to opt out, and well - - choices have consequences, don't they?
I said that God decides to do something with you - or have you do something for Him. What I should have said was God commissions you to do something for Him; He doesn't decide really, because the entire plan, every last point of His plan, has been planned, has been decided, has been in motion since well before you were born. You were, as it were, part of the overall plan. Therefore, it goes without saying that whatever it is that God has planned for you, with you, and involving you, will in fact take place. You may not arrive there in the fashion you thought you were going to arrive, but you will make it to your personal Nineveh, you can take that to the celestial bank!
Let's just say, again, for argument's sake, that God has asked you (commissioned you) to be in the prison ministry. Remember, I'm just pulling this example out of thin air. I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but hey, if you feel the guilt inside your soul when I say that...so be it. You're laying there, again, minding your own business, maybe making plans to pick up your guitar and strum a few old chords to try and make them make a bit of sense, when out of NO WHERE, your heart thinks a thought and your brain disagreed. Your heart stated that you should be in the prison ministry, you know it, it's rather obvious to you, but your brain and your common sense kick in and they start debating with your goodness. The reasons and the excuses you find tend to make sense the longer you fight with yourself too. You haven't really heard what you thought you heard. You haven't really felt what seemed real and poignant. You must have been side-dreaming; dreaming on the weak side of your noggin while the smarter more intuitive side was taking a break...no, you shake it off. That was a wild and crazy thought!
It may have been a thought, but it may have been the Holy Spirit too. You know the drill. I say you know the drill. If you're a Christian, and you've been accepting the love, protection and blessings of the Spirit for a while, you understand what it feels like to have a word sent to you thorough heart-mail. Heart-mail is that unmistakeable gut feeling that your life is about to take a twist and holding on for dear life is one option, but letting go and giving it to God is the one you're supposed to choose. Let go.
You check again, and you realize that the message was clear enough, but now you have to find a way to convince the spouse; maybe others. You can't do this on your own. That's what you tell yourself, but instead of putting your best foot forward you end up sticking that foot right up your own ass! Don't you? Well, Jonah thought he could get on that first rate ship to Tarshish too. He had a plan, the problem with his plan, and the problem with YOUR plan is that it goes against the other plan. The one you know you're supposed to do. (Is it too close to home to ask for an "Amen" at this point? Am I the one striking chords at this moment?) I'm not even asking for a friend - - friend.
Traveling by boat would probably have been the method Jonah could have and should have taken. He wasn't standing anywhere near Nineveh when God gave him the directive. He ended up on a boat, a rather nice one too, but he didn't stay on it now, did he? His plan to continue his concert tour, write music for others, sing and perform for the masses took a sideswipe the second the ship's first mate unhitched the ropes from the dock. I think Jonah may have forgotten that it was God who made the trees that made the boat. It was God who made the hemp that made the ropes. It was God who made the water that held the boat afloat, and yes, you guessed it, it was God who made the first-class whale that came along and carried out the mission that ultimately was going to be carried out no matter what method of travel or personal agenda Jonah may have believed he had the right to adhere to. (This is where it gets a little crazy. I bet this wasn't Jonah's first rodeo -- he knew better.)
Let's go back to the prison ministry analogy. Maybe you're supposed to be there singing, writing, talking, communing, worshipping, witnessing, and listening to men give their confessions before God. Maybe you thought you couldn't do that on the budget or salary limitations you were handed. Maybe you thought it wasn't easy to get to all those places, and your car wasn't the best, and you aren't the best driver, and time wasn't on your side, there were just too many things that needed your attention. Did you forget that God made the asphalt that made the roads? Did you forget that God made the time you thought you could waste? Did you forget that your voice, your ears, your eyes, your hands, your life is not yours but has been bought with a price? Did you think you wouldn't make it to the VERY PLACE you were told to go? You made it. We all make it. We all have our Ninevehs and we all have our Nineveh moments. Some of us learn to swim with the fishes; while others learn to bunk with the bullies, but we make it to the Nineveh we were told to go to. EVERY TIME.
What now? Well, that's pretty simple really. You wait. You wait on God to give you the word. You wait on God to bring you the service. You wait on God to provide every last detail because that was (and has been) the plan all along. Your spouse (and no one else for that matter) should NOT have a word to say if God has ordained the plan for you. You don't worship your spouse do you? You don't count on anyone else to bless and fulfill your needs. You don't pray to the spouse, you don't give homage to them either. If they were the loving and surrendering soul they swore to be, you wouldn't have to beg or plead. You have a mission - - you will achieve it; one way or the other. In fact, hasn't this method you chose been a bit harder on them than it would have been if you had just taken the path of obedience? Funny, how it works that way.
My Nineveh? Oh, I said yes. I didn't argue. I was more than willing to just jump on the right ship and head off for smooth sailing(s). I have to admit the water has been a bit rough lately since the man I was commissioned to pray for has decided to bulk at his directive, but that's the thing -- my assignment is to keep the router steady. I'm supposed to force that thing deep into the waters and hold it hard enough to cut through the current and keep my eyes on the horizon. My assignment is to steer, pray for, love, encourage, fight for, defend, and sometimes even explain why it is that I just refuse to stop pushing. Someone has to push - - I'm just really good at it; that's probably why God was gracious and gave me THIS particular assignment. He knew (in His great wisdom) that I could handle the push back, the backlash, the name calling, the misconceptions, the skepticism. I can handle it. I know the way to Nineveh...I've been there a few times. I've never had the privilege to go by whale belly, but I have hit the rocks a few times and skinned up my knees. Bruises hurt; they hurt enough that I didn't really want to do more self affliction. Nope. Listening to God is honestly, and I mean this, the only way to go.
Sir, friend, you too will be fine. You will make it through. You will shine again. You will be the man you are now, and so much more -- do you know why? Because you are not your own, and God does not, and God has not ever, made a mistake. Get up off your ass and set your course for Nineveh. You're not alone. If you need help I'm just a few clicks away -- but then again, you know that. For argument's sake let's just say you decide to listen this time. I am the one smiling because of it. God's got this. Let Him fight your battles, He's never lost one yet.
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