If you're still a single man out there in the big bad open world of wild and ugly, you may want to think about settling down and propping your feet up somewhere that you can call home. Home isn't just a word you know, it's where you hang your heart, and where you can share your experiences and existence with someone who (like minded) has only the best things in mind for you. If you're thinking about catching yourself a good ol' Southern woman because you heard rumors that they like to sweet talk, cook, and go fishin' now and again, you may be in luck. I heard there are plenty of single Southern women running around these parts, and because it's nearly full on winter, they'll be wanting to snuggle up in a cozy quilt after having baked you a few good things to keep your motor running - - if you know what I mean. Go for it! Get out there and find her. She may be looking for you, too.
One of the best things to whip up in the kitchen that takes literally only 15 minutes, is a big heapin' of mac and cheese. Mind you, we Southern gals don't just throw on a pot of boiling water and soak the pasta, we first lace the water with butter, maybe a little sea salt, and we never forget to drain the water completely just before putting the noodles back into the pan to be dressed. When a Southern gal makes her mac and cheese from a box, which is not that common, she's at least going to add a few spices if not Caesar or Ranch dressing before she adds the creamy cheese sauce. If she's one of THOSE box cookers that uses the powdered cheese, you don't really want her anyway, let that one go, and wait until you can find yourself someone who actually gives a damn.
After the creamy cheese sauce, the Ranch or Caesar dressing she's gonna want to top her mac and cheese off with those crispy little fried onions that everyone adds to their green bean casserole on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and when she takes a pot luck plate to church. You know what I'm talking about. Southern girls know that cooking is a very important part of our comprehensive reputation, but now and again it's not gonna kill someone to eat a dish that didn't take a big fuss to make. Besides, if you can get the food ready in just a few minutes you have more time to snuggle; am I right? I know I'm right.
Another piece of pleasure and/or Heaven-on-Earth (that you can expect from a Southern gal) is to have her add a bit of sharp cheddar cheese on top of your hot apple pie. Whether she actually makes the pie or buys it, the cheese is going to slap you upside the tastebuds and let you know you're living. It's not every day you see it, it's not every day you earn it either, but if she's willing and you're being rewarded for something, you should just smile real pretty like and tell her she's the best. She is the best. Look what she's done for you already!
Melted cheese, spicy sauces, cheddar-topped-pies and even a bit of homemade orange marmalade can go a long way if your woman knows her way around the kitchen -- maybe I forgot to tell you what the orange sticky jelly can be used for after supper...you can guess. Now, when you're over there "guessing" I want you to also be smiling - - show her all those teeth, shake your head and tell her again in some sweet soft whisper (once you figure out what you can do with the marmalade) that she really knows "how to cook" and you absolutely appreciate her efforts to turn up the heat and get the pots stirring. Wooden spoons are optional. Just sayin'.
I know this has been a really short blog and maybe there's a good reason for it - - maybe I'm thinking of a man I'd like to find up under my cozy quilt this blistering evening; maybe he's a little....hungry.
Bon Appetite!
No comments:
Post a Comment