Living in the Great State of Oklahoma, where more native tribes are represented than in any other state (I believe this to be true, it was at one point when I learned it in elementary school) you hear a great deal about spirit animals. If you're like me, and you grow up with it being around you all the time, every day, with every school year passing with at least one research assignment dedicated to the Spirit Animal, you know pretty much at an early early age what your particular spirit animal is. You don't have to wonder about it, you don't have to put much thought into it, it is what it is, and when people ask you the question "What is your Spirit Animal?" You can have a ready answer!
Now, to be perfectly honest with you, as a kid I never did any research or self-reflection. I liked dogs so I just said a dog. My third-grade teacher, Mrs. Tipton, was not about to let me off the hook so easily. I had to pick a breed that best suited my personality, and you guessed it, because I had a Dachshund, (his name really was Rover) I chose the bigger-than-life-itself weenie dog from Germany! Now, after a few more years of being aware of what it really means to associate your spirit and essence with that of an animal (most people prefer to think of something wild and free rather than a domesticated hound that lounges about the house and only comes to full attention if the mailman attacks the porch with his big blue bag), I began thinking more about it - - putting just a bit more thought and ponder into it; the truth is that I may be aggressively protective like my good friend Rover, and yes, I do have a tendency to think I'm better, bigger, badder, and more worthy than I am, but the more accurate answer to the question today, having had years to consider the actual truth about my being, the answer is the American Mustang.
The American Mustang, though a horse, an equine, is nothing like the average or day-to-day American Quarter Horse, the Paint, the Thoroughbred, the Arabian, or the European cobs or ponies. An American Mustang is in fact wild. Domestication for the American Mustang is achievable, but it will take a while, and it will involve years of patiently working with, respecting, and befriending the animal. One does not merely lasso an American Mustang and expect to contain it. One does not expect (or dare attempt) to wrangle the Mustang in small spaces without a fight. After thinking about it thoroughly and I do think about it thoroughly, the best way to describe myself as if I were an animal, is to acknowledge that I am first a bit wild, absolutely independent, and that my level of skepticism and untrust are markedly higher, much higher, than that of the average person. Someone has to earn my trust before obtaining it unless of course I freely offer it. I only do that in the rarest of occasions, but I do it.
I am not one to wait around. I make things happen. I am not one to wait on you. I make things happen for myself. I don't ever ask for permission. I may not even apologize for my actions. I am not one to ask for your help. I tend to find my own way. I will however allow you to be present, and I will give you the help you need if you require it, but I may not be the friendliest beast in the process. I may remain at a distance and patiently observe you. I intentionally observe anyone I am interested in, and I all but ignore anyone I am not interested in getting to know. This is again, a very deep seeded trait of the American Mustang. Where a Quarter Horse may walk up to you because he or she is curious, the Mustang will hang back at a safe distance and follow your every move. It can be unnerving to some, but it is essential to me. I won't give until I know I can trust; and if I consider the person to be worth my effort and time. If that sounds arrogant let it sound arrogant, we only have the time we have. Mine is precious to me.
Today, I found myself standing, walking, and waiting behind someone who could only be described as the South American Sloth! I only say that because she was literally wearing a t-shirt proclaiming that her spirit animal was the Sloth. Yeah, we get that. You're slower than molasses in January, your face is fixed in a permanent "whatever" and your nails are inappropriately long; useless. As I thought about her life choices for the split second of time that I allowed myself to think about her, I realized that the American Mustang in me wanted to throw my head, stomp my foot, and push her fluffy ass out of the way. She was hanging around in the same spot on the same aisle I had left to give her time to find whatever it was she was looking for. After a few minutes of shopping and circling back to the aisle, here she was still slothfully gazing, not really moving, just standing there gawking at her choices. MOVE ALREADY! MAKE YOUR DECISION!
I did exactly what you know I did, except I think I did say "Excuse me". I pushed past her, took the item from the shelf that I needed and left. She took a full three seconds to respond to me. I was literally walking up the aisle and about to round the corner when I hear her dull droned voice call out "Hey, you don't have to be in such a hurry!" I kept walking, never glancing back, just thinking to myself how I was actually not in a hurry, I had in fact given her about three minutes to make up her mind, and I utilized those same three minutes to pick up other items I needed, and took time to walk back to that particular aisle.
Well, you guessed it, when I arrived at the check-out stand she was taking her sweet time to also stand in line to check out. She was digging through her purse to get her money out, and she was talking to herself under her breath about whether or not she had brought enough cash. Hello, it's 2021. Most of us don't use cash, though I am not opposed to it, it is dirty, it does take more time, and it isn't really as efficient because you often forget (as she did) how much you have on your person. With debit and credit cards you have an idea at least, and if you don't know what your balance is you can use your banking app to figure it out. You know I made my way just ahead of her before she could step into the queue before me. Nope. I was not going to waste more time with her. I was not about to go through the whole "Oh, I guess I don't have enough money with me. I may need to take something back" and then have her go through her lot to see what she couldn't live with. NOPE. I stepped up and zipped out, thus giving her the opportunity to stare at me one more time. She shook her head. I turned to her, faced her, and I did the same thing.
I pointed to her shirt. I (may have rudely) stated that "...the American Mustang is my spirit animal. I hope you'll understand now why it was that we had the experience we did back on Aisle 6. I hope you have a blessed day, and I hope you find your cash." and with that, I nodded my head, took my bags and walked away - - but not out the door. No, I waited off to the side to see if in fact, she had brought enough cash. I thought for a minute that I may actually step in and help her if she had not. That was my thought process until she literally (probably by slothful means) dumped the contents of her very large and overtly unnecessarily heavy purse, onto the floor revealing that she had actually taken a few items from Aisle 6 that she had no intention of paying for. Wow. Just....wow! I left the store. It is my belief that ANYONE who considers the sloth to be their spirit animal is both boring and uninteresting; prove me wrong.
The experience made me think about what my children would say if I asked them what their spirit animals are. They're all adults now, they've had time to think about it more clearly and to come up with redeemable answers worthy of discussion. Laura said her spirit animal is the Red Panda. She appreciates their awkwardness, they're adorable, and they are quirky at best. Caity said the Grey Fox, and I can only imagine it's because they are quick on their feet, witty and clever enough to evade nearly everyone and everything every time. Reuben hadn't really given it much thought, he said he would have to think about it. It could be the Honey Badger because as we all know "Honey Badger don't care!" Honey Badger will F*ck you up without sweating and without backing down. I can see that. Well, at least I know I did my best at raising three amazing creatures - - I have to say that when it comes to being a mother my spirit animal would have to be something absolutely involved and protective to the point of nuclear destruction should someone try to harm a hair on any of my children. Yeah, over time things change; but I will and have always been independent, fierce, and formidable.
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