OMG...OMG....can I just start off asking for an "Amen"? Do you not, as a Christian, as a born-again believer, just want to reach through the ether sometimes and slap the living daylights out of other Christians from time to time? You can't tell me I'm alone in this, you can't tell me I'm the only one who just stands over here (or there) and just shakes my damn head over something that some other born-again, Bible-believing, God-fearing, good-to-the-soul Christian has said or done to another. I think I need a taller soapbox, today friends, I need a step ladder, maybe even a cherry picker because I need to reach some big honking side-to-the-head ears way over in Scotland today! There's a guy there that needs his spiritual ass whooped and I'm just the woman to do it today! Do NOT piss off a woman. Do not piss off a Scorpio woman (and yes, believe it or not, I can be a Scorpio and a believer. God made the stars. Man worships them, I don't) God set the stars in their place, and the story is told from the beginning of VIRGO the birth of Christ, to the constellation of LEO which is the Lion of Judah. Hey, guess who SCORPIO is! That's right, it represents the mean, nasty, son-of-a-bitch Satan, and from time to time, I relate.
JUST because someone was born under the sign of Scorpio doesn't make them Satanish, any more than being born in early September makes you Christ-like. We all know we have both good and bad in our hearts, so please don't go all churchy on me when you have your own sins to deal with. Let's not have to talk about specks and beams today. I'm ranting, it's my blog. I can rant. If you want to get online and start your own rant you feel free to do that. If you did something that you know is both ungodly and unacceptable to the Christian standards and you're afraid I'm going to blog about it and let the world in on your fopaux then you have something to worry about because that is EXACTLY my plan today! I'm calling you out right here and right now, and no I won't use your name, YOU and JESUS know it, I know it, and it's probably best that the rest of the world doesn't know it because JESUS doesn't deserve to be associated with someone who's literally going to tell another Christian to "SAVE YOURSELF TIME and energy" and witness to someone who GOD HIMSELF has shared with YOU to do it. Without digressing too much here is the background to the background so you'll somewhat have an idea of what is going on; I wouldn't want to be accused of one-siding it and slanting this story in my favor. No, I want to lay it out there exactly as it is so this man can get his spirit pricked and maybe he won't do that again, and if he does it again, maybe he won't do it to a woman with a big mouth and keyboard!
I am a blogger. I follow a YouTuber. The YouTuber is not a Christian, but through our conversations and rapport building, I have reached a point where I can ask him a few things. He's from Scotland, and I'm in the USA, so it's not like I can pop in on the guy and have that conversation about the Roman Road or his need for soul salvation, right? OK, next best, I sent him a note saying something like, "Hey, you know, you're an awesome YouTuber and I've seen and noticed that so many people who follow you also follow my "friend" (Ha! We won't use that word again to describe you now, will we? I'll use something like "idiot" or "fool".) who is also in your area, and he's a singer and worship leader who many of your followers follow. He's really cool, talented, and uplifting, and since he's there in your backyard, and your videos are all about that area and things you can see and do in Scotland, how about you doing a vlog or video with him, and your viewers and his viewers can talk about both of you, and get more views for both of you!!?" What a deal? (Good plan, right?)
It would have been and should have been an excellent plan, the YouTuber was all over it. He was like "Yeah, hey, that's a wonderful idea, maybe in the future because things are really suppressed right now." I suggested maybe a Zoom. OK, yeah, it's a good thing to do, people may want to see two really fun bearded handsome men speaking in Scottish accents about Edinburgh and surrounding fun things to do. They can walk around Princes Street, go to the Castles, see the old and new towns, they can go to cafes, hear great street music, and yeah, they can run into this great Christian artist who is really involved in the local charities serving the area through homelessness awareness, suicide awareness, and he's got a story, he's got a history, maybe it will touch their heart and you'll want to give him a listen either when they show up to that fine city, or just because - - sure sounds like a great idea right? Oh, and it's a great idea on the flip side too, because the MAN OF GOD, good soul, Christian, Jesus-Following great guy will have the unique opportunity to speak to the YouTuber about Jesus, how HE FOUND JESUS and how Jesus found him. It could lead to another glory-filled salvation story; one that would earn the CHRISTIAN man a brand new crown in fact!! We like crowns in Heaven, don't we? We'll have more to present to Jesus -- it really is a WIN-WIN and a marvelous plan. God gave me the plan. I can't take credit for it. I have gone as far as I can go in the matter -- I was the seed planter.
Here's where the slapping comes into play. I write the singer/songwriter to let him know I have spoken with the YouTuber and suggested Zoom. I suggest to him that it would be a wonderful opportunity to bring the word to the unsaved and give God the glory; right? Wrong. He writes back to say (and this is where I had to laugh. He used his own email address to send the letter) he was the manager of the artist (again, he sent the email from his own email address) and he said as the manager of this (so very important) artist, that he would be answering all future correspondences. Remind me please not to ever be so awesome, great, fantabulous, famous, or otherwise unavailable to those who pray for me, buy my material, keep me lifted in Spirit, and so forth. No, he wrote to me to basically say don't write to me. He wrote to me to ask if I had not in fact stated about 5 or 6 months ago that wouldn't be writing to him (the artist) so why am I writing now? About 5-6 months ago I tried to promote the man, and again about a year ago I tried to promote the man's work but was shut down. First, it was something about being signed on under contract with a music company so he couldn't do it, then it was he thought (or his wife thought) that because I was persistent about writing to promote him that I MUST (must) be in love with him, or want something else from him. YES, you moron, I do want something from you, I want you to sit up and pay attention! God has a plan for you, and you're just passing it by and allowing it to pass by!! Stop with all the paranoid BS and move into the LIGHT.
I answered the "manager" with a statement saying basically, "Sure, I can stop writing to, commenting, or corresponding, but I thought he'd like the opportunity to witness and maybe share God's grace and will with the unsaved." Then I said goodbye. AND HE WROTE ME BACK. (I say he, it could be his wife, I wouldn't put it past her to do that, and him not have a clue about any of it because it seems she keeps him in the dark most of the time anyway. Did I say that out loud? I guess I did.) He writes me back to say that I wrote back. WHAT? Yep, he wrote me back to say I thought you weren't going to write back? Yeah, I wrote back to answer the questions you asked and to say TOOTLES! There's NO WAY I'm going to let that pile of poop just sit there unanswered on my feed so yeah, I wrote back to say "Geez, I thought my last correspondence was, in fact, my last correspondence" as if to say "You don't get the last word here, I do." (Told you I could be snarky.)
NO...HE WROTE BACK! This is where I had to laugh. I was on the floor at this point. He called me manipulative and told me that I could save myself time and energy and witness to the YouTuber myself. Oh...OK...yeah...let me just do that...oh wait....I did!! I am the SEED PLANTER on this one. YOU can be the harvester if you just get off your holier-than-thou ass long enough to do God's work! (I don't know why I bother, except when I tried to stop praying for him twice God reminded me that HE gave the order to pray for the idiot so I have no choice. I guess I'll just keep on praying - - but NOT writing to him again.) Not a problem.
I decided to take the ball and run with it. I'm not a soccer player, I don't kick it to the other side. I grab it by .... well, by the ball(s) and I run. I decided to run straight up the middle with it too. I'm nothing if not forceful. I'm one of those really bitchy bitches who don't really cotton to those who can't read the neon signs screaming at them to pick up the next play. If I have to pass myself the ball, run with it, cross the line, and spike it I will - - and do it in your FACE. I wrote to the YouTuber to let him know the singer was absolutely on board with the whole Zoom thing! Try and get out of that one, Sir. Let God know when you've accepted the assignment so He'll know when to send you the words. We wouldn't want you CHOKING ON THEM or writing an email through your MANAGER to decline the offer - - you do that and I'll hit that closet so hard with prayers for your unholy ass so fast it will make your hymnal fall off the piano! Don't you DARE sing about God's story, your story, Blessed Assurances, and how JESUS IS YOURS if you aren't going to share Him with someone given to you on a freaking silver platter?
I would say don't make me come to Scotland to do the work myself, because Baby, I'll not only do it, I'll call in the elders of your church and we'll all have a sit down come to Jesus... I have NO issue(s) going to my God with this over-the-top attitude that I have about things. He made me. He knows exactly who I am and how loud I can get. He knows exactly how far I will go to make sure I do what He's told me to do - - you'll notice I didn't give your name, not once, and I won't. YOU KNOW it. Jesus knows it, and that's the best news there is. YOUR NAME is written in the Book of Life, now get out there and try your "damn-dest" to have that other guy's name added to the same book BEFORE He returns. We don't have much time.
That is all. I hope the rest of you have a blessed weekend, but I pray this CHRISTIAN fellow gets his arse in a sling so tight he could make diamonds from the pressure!
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