AAAAAGGGHHHH!! It makes me want to scream and punch my fist right through the monitor when I see it, but I know it wouldn't help if I did, it's just their damn conditioning I guess. Men can be so annoying! I mean, yeah, I guess women can be annoying too, and you know, if I'm really honest with myself I bet I'm rather annoying at times to some people. (No, I'm not going to name anyone in particular) When I go to my Instagram account (It doesn't happen so much on Facebook) I am bombarded at times, maybe 3 or 4 times every week anyway, with some lonely "military man" who just happens to be of higher rank, he's either a recent widow or his wife has been gone for "awhile now" and he always seems to have a teenage daughter - - why the props? I'm not sure as to why these types seem to be lurking on IG hoping to find someone stupid enough to fall for their crap, but it's so dang obvious I just have to laugh out loud.
I go to the site and there it is, a red heart showing me that someone has liked my comments or they are wanting to reach out and message me. I'd have so many more followers if I would just stop blocking men; I know, it's crazy, right? I click on the heart to see 14 likes of my most recent posts. They like them all, every last one of them, no comments, just likes, and nothing to suggest that they would be a truly interesting person either because a lot of the things I post are controversial, you'd think they'd at least have an opinion - - but no, they just like the posts and invite me to chat. Oh, but it's the way they invite me that just sears my gears! They start out with "Hello, Beautiful" or "Hello, I was just searching the internet for a high school friend when I ran across your wonderful smile. I'd like to get to know you." Ha! Let me stop you right there sir, let me help you out, NO...NO...you would NOT like to get to know me. Take my word for it. YOU do not want to chat with me. MOVE FORWARD.
Of all the people, of all the women, of all the wonderful smiling faces you find on the internet, be it on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Buzz, or anything else you may find a wonderful smile lurking about, you do not want to write to me with your "Hello, Dear" because I'll shut you down faster than a skunk can spew on you - - and you'd probably rather have found a polecat than to have asked me twice if I've already told you once to move along. I am not your girl. I will not be your girl. This woman is all but finished with men, and the only way I'd ever change my mind is if God Himself sat me down and forced my eyes open to stare at one. He hasn't done that -- so yeah, no. Don't get me wrong, I do look. I do look at the ones I choose to look at. I will sneak a peek and I will drool, but I won't let you catch me because if you catch me it means I wanted you to see it - - and if I wanted you to see it, well, then I have changed my mind about men. I haven't changed my mind. You won't catch me drooling; maybe just a little smirk.
The last 20 or 30 men over the past few weeks to write to me have all started their conversations the same way, and they've all been deleted. I think I wrote back to one man to actually be polite only because I saw he was from Scotland. Yes, I will be sweeter to a Scot than another man, I will admit that, and I may actually choose to chat with a Scot if it's on the phone or through Zoom just so I can hear his voice (accent) but the second he turns the conversation toward "getting to know you" or "are you married dear?" The line will go dead. If a man wanted to get to know me the best thing he could do is read my 38,000 posts - - pretty sure that if he took the time to do that he would realize he doesn't really want to pursue a relationship, or at least he'd damn well know my marital status is HAPPILY SINGLE and presently decidedly going to stay that way. If he still needed more information about me because he just couldn't get enough from the posts, he could read my damn book! (It's pretty cheap on Amazon through Ebook actually, I think it's like $6.99 or something). Not much of an investment really.
No, if you, or anyone like you, decides to write to me and you start off with "Hello, Dear" just know I'll never write to you. You should start off with "Hello, I'm from Scotland, I don't want to get to know you, I just want to say 'tomorrow' over and over again until you fall in love with me." That may actually make me giggle and I'll try you out to see if you can keep me interested long enough to drink a full cup of coffee while you rattle on about your likes and dislikes as long as you understand I may not actually comprehend a thing you say, I'm just listening to your voice. I'm not moving to Scotland to find a man, I'm moving to Scotland to find myself. While I'm there I'll be sure to hit up the Highlands so I can immerse myself into the language and just let the words of the handsome men (plural) tickle my ears. I have every intention of letting each and every one of them know I have no idea what it was that they just said, but yes, it was lovely.
I mean, I guess there are women out on the internet who would love to hear from these fake military men with daughters and recently deceased wives. I personally would never date someone who was a widower because I'm not about to compete with a damn ghost. If I find a man and he is still wrapped up in the woman who preceded him to Heaven, he can find her and follow her - - don't waste my time trying to compare me, trying to figure out why I don't do things like or act like that dead wife of his. I'm not being mean - - I wouldn't want a man to suffer through being with me, to be honest. I'm not the nicest belle at the ball - - I'm not even going to attend the ball, you'll find me in the barn with the horses and you'll find me in the cabin with a book by the fire, but you'll not find me in the castles at the parties wearing glass shoes - - I don't even like shoes, and I don't match my socks...DEAR!
Nope, let me go -- move along, find another woman to pop your pretty tail feathers for. This one is no longer impressed. I think I could be. I think God could show me that one who would keep my eyes roving up and down his form, turning him around to see the backside, and maybe upside down to see if he can handle the pressure of being my guy. Not saying that upsidedown is a deal-breaker, but it is a good test, wouldn't you think? LOL...yes, I'm laughing, you don't have to send the paddy wagon out for me just yet. Come to think of it, I've never actually been with a man in the back of a car, not even when I was younger. I think I was too smart for that, which cost me a few boyfriends I'm sure. Something about me being too damn mean...or was it too damn smart? Either way, I can say I've never made it in the backseat of a car. Now that I've admitted that it makes me want to admit some of the more interesting places I have .... no, that's another blog.
Do yourself and me a favor boys - - don't.
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