Friday, September 26, 2008

Dreaming - Explosions, Building, Telephone Wires

I dream in vivid color, and in vivid hearing apparently! I saw nothing of the explosion, but I heard it. That makes a difference when you're dreaming.

I woke up to the feeling of a hard cold wet nose in my eye-socket, but that didn't stop me from grabbing the journal I'm writing in right now, and a pen. I took the dogs out, but I stayed a little longer in the dew-grass morning. This time I had to write down every last detail that I could remember from last night's dream, and it was a lot of detailing let me tell you. SIX full pages of constant scratching out my thoughts. When I write in my journal I usually like to do so in a way that I can read it back to myself later, but I was in such a big hurry - I didn't want to lose a single thought or vision.

My friend Maria came out to walk her beautiful little sheltie. She's Italian, and you hear her before she arrives...."Maria, I can't talk. I have to write this out" She understood and sat down at the park bench outside our house in the commons. I didn't say "boo" to her, I wrote, and I bent over my work hurriedly - eventually Maria left, and I stayed outside creative and awe-struck because every single detail was so vivid - so real. I wrote it all out, and I took it all back inside with the dogs and immediately began looking up the main points. IT IS FANTASTIC!

Now, when you tell people that you had a vivid dream about an exploding office building, and they know you were a survivor of the Oklahoma City Bombing, they probably think you were just reliving it - I wasn't in that building. I was outside. Besides, I saw the blast and smoke in person. This one, I was privy only to the sound.

I remember so much of it. I remember the clothes I was wearing, the conversation I had with my co-workers. I remember the people I saw, the tiny little details about a Halloween party, and the fact that I almost stole a pink rabbit weather sock, but I knew it would be wrong and I put it back - I love it! I have morals in my dreams!! goes: I worked in a building with people I shared office space with. I had a good job, and it was easy enough. I had a good station, windows, lots of room, and we could wear what we wanted. It was a "firm" but I didn't hold a big position, I was average, in fact, I was rather low on the totem! We had a party, a Halloween party, and I enjoyed myself. I took quite a bit of candy home to the kids in a sack and almost came close to taking something that didn't belong to me, but I thought it would be wrong and I didn't do it. I went to the bathroom where I changed my clothes. Now, this is very important, as NO ONE else changed, it was just me, and I went back to work.

When I got to my station no one was working, they were just sitting around talking - like you would if you just came back from a party and it was too late to start a new project. I went to the law office next door and chatted with old neighbors - friends, and returned to finish the day's work. I noticed I needed another envelope, but didn't have one, so I went back to the law firm and borrowed one, a bubble wrapped envelope,and I went to the mail drop to drop it off. The men in the hall told me to go around the other side of the building to drop it off - the mail slot had been moved.

Not only had the mail slot been moved, there were more men on the other side of the hall replacing every single doorknob in the building. Our office was on the top floor. I teased these guys about making it a union issue and taking their time. They laughed. I laughed. I went back to work.

I noticed a single woman in traditional Muslim clothing sitting at the end of the hall in the office. I saw a woman in a skirt and blouse talking on a phone which was hardwired into the wall - literally the wires were plugged unprotected into the outlet. I thought "that's not good" and I saw the wires expanding. The Muslim woman was silent - and the wires grew. I was now standing at a door at the end of the hall next to the Muslim woman - who reached into her wrapped dress and pulled out a gun, but I wasn't frightened. She wasn't going to hurt me.

There was a GIANT explosion...HUGE noise and I heard people screaming, but not for help. They were yelling "Fire" and not really asking for help. I turned to the Muslim woman and saw smoke coming at us - the doors behind me were locked. I could see through the crack where they came together that it was a rather loose lock. I began hitting it. She held her gun up and fired into the crack to make it more loose to help me. She then ran off to help the others - I left.

I went through doors, through open windows, down into a stairwell, and down more stairs. I went through walls like they were nothing, and I found myself near a garage where I knew my car was parked, but I saw TV reporters and didn't want to explain why I left without helping. I also didn't want to explain what had happened because I didn't know more than what they did - a loud explosion, but I remembered the wires. I left my car and I walked toward the street - I headed WEST, and that was important, I was leaving my home and going West.

A man returned to the building and it was no longer in trouble, it was all OK, and it was completely intact. There were no problems with people being in distress, and there was money and a 1/2 body on a table - I don't know why - but the body wasn't real - it was meant to be fake. I was to continue to go West. To not go back.


Now, that's the dream, and when I looked it up I was thrilled. I was on the top floor - not that great of a position in my town, my building, my Oklahoma - but I was at the highest level I could or can reach here. I have to leave. I will leave. I will become something new, someone new, and I will do it out west. I changed, no one else changed, just me. All is well, no one is hurt, no one needs me. I don't need the past - I need to head off to the future....the explosion is an indicator that it will happen quickly, and without pain. I must overcome a small obstacle first, and even though I don't know what that is - I know I will overcome it. I believe in me. This will happen. I may even have to leave Steve (car) and find a new way to get around. That may be the small issue. I'll do it.

As for the Muslim woman who sat quietly and ended up helping not only me but others? I think it shows me a lesson of trust that is far deeper than I have ever seen before. I need to reach out and trust even those we are trained and taught to distrust. I need to believe in others and their abilities to love. She returned to help.

Thank you Jesus - I love to dream.

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