That's Preposterous!

 So, I'm lying in bed just reminding myself that I'm supposed to be sleeping, when from out of the murk of my brain God reveals a thought that I've had before, but in a different way altogether.  I often think of things that seem out of this world, and of course with God, everything (literally everything)is out of this particular world, so it's no surprise that what I'm about to disclose will be a bit preposterous too! C'mon, it'll be fun...let's think outside every tiny box our minds insist on keeping us pinned inside of. 

What's the most preposterous story you can think of in the Bible? What details about that particular story drew you to think of THAT story? What about it bugs you to the point that somewhere inside your mind you think it couldn't possibly be true, but God said it was, so you just accept it by faith? For me it may be Noah's insight to build the Ark.  It could NOT have been an easy task. The man was literally living at a time when every thought of man was wicked and in fact, men were trying to come up with new ways to be wicked so that they could out-wicked the next guy!  Here's Noah, a good man, a man God loved and wasn't upset with; he was just trying to make a living and it probably wasn't in the boat-building business, I can almost guarantee you that much.  God told Noah to build the BIGGEST boat ever seen on the face of the Earth because as He put it, it was going to rain (and since it had never actually rained before there must have been a few moments in there where Noah shook his head and maybe even argued a bit with God over the need to put all of his money, time, effort, energy, and future into this boat building especially since where he lived wasn't necessarily near the sea!)  Noah built the Ark.  Noah preached for 125 years while he built the Ark, but NO ONE, not ONE single person came to be saved....NO ONE.  But there he was, building the Ark with his sons and thinking "OK, God said to do it, so yeah, I'm going to do it."

Jonah really didn't have that big of an assignment, not if you compare it to Noah's message from God. God told Jonah to preach to a group of unfit, unworthy, dangerous, often murderous people, but he didn't have to spend 125 years preaching - - he was just commanded to do it ONCE!  The thought of doing this seemed outrageous to Jonah and it seemed outrageous enough that the man believed he could hide from God! Who thinks that? Where on this planet or another planet for that matter, will anyone actually HIDE from God? No! It's not going to happen. Here you go Jonah, go ahead and try to hide, run, see where that gets you -- OH OK, it got you inside the belly of a fish THAT by the way wasn't even in the waters where fish that size typically hung out in the first place! GOD sent the fish at that moment. WHAT MOMENT? The moment Jonah was cast into the sea - - thinking he was dead, God said "NO, you're not getting out of it that easily, first you're gonna sink a bit, stay in the dark for a while, eat left over squid and maybe a little swollen seaweed, then you're going to PREACH TO THE PEOPLE I TOLD YOU TO PREACH TO because I am God, and I don't change. My word doesn't change, my plan doesn't change, you're not going to cause anything about my plan to change, so when you realize that maybe you'll just say YES and we can both get on with MY PLAN!"  Of course, I'm paraphrasing -- and taking great liberties at the same time.  Bottom line: Jonah preached to the people of Ninevah.

What may seem preposterous to you is NOT preposterous to God. His plan is His plan, and He made this plan a long time before He showed you what it was, or how you fit into it. You will not change His plan, you will ONLY be blessed if you follow it -- so hey, here's a thought: DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD TO DO...He will take care of literally every single tiny detail that you may or may not have imagined. He will clear every path. He will deliver you. He will make it happen. He, not you, will bring it to pass exactly as He intended. It's never been any other way. Think of any story in the Bible where you thought to yourself, "That makes no sense", and then keep reading - - it will eventually make sense. If God decides to use some random bush to set on fire and speak through it -- LISTEN. If God decides to send hundreds of animals to your doorstep to accompany you on the cruise of a lifetime - - feed them. If you find yourself needing to simply speak to someone about something you never thought you had enough knowledge about but God wants you to say it -- open your mouth. He will give you the words.

We will all benefit from the plan God has for each of us. We will all be blessed if we just do what He asks of us - - so why does He have to force it on most of us? What makes us think we know more than God does when we're called upon to do something? Do we think just because we have limits that He has limits? Do we think that since we have lack of experience that He has a lack? Do we think that we are somehow unqualified to do what He's asked us to do? We may very well be, but I know one thing for sure, if He is truly asking He has already made arrangements for the training, the schooling, the learning, and the capacity to perform whatever it is He wants you, me, us to do -- JUST SAY YES! That saying "There are plenty of other fish in the sea" could very well mean that you'll end up inside of one if you argue too much! It's happened before, it can happen again (and if I am part of the plan that God has for you, and you end up in that fish, forcing me to try and pry open the fish's mouth just to pull you out so you can breathe and repent - - I'm going to be really pissed at you for making me swim in deep waters when I didn't really need to.) God is God. He does not change, He will not change and this is a really really good thing. DO what you are told to do. EVEN if it is the most preposterous thing you can imagine -- because the rapture of the Church is even more preposterous when you think about it!

So VERY Thankful

 Happy Thanksgiving to all of my friends, my family, to those I know and to those I do not know.  On this day of remembrance I am reminded first why we have this holiday celebration, and what it means to be both an American, and a Christian American.  This holiday was not and is not a pagan holiday. There are those who claim that because the natives that celebrated with the pilgrims were in fact pagan by definition (they worshipped earthly and heavenly things rather than God), we know that the pilgrims had gained the trust of these wonderful people to the point of sharing food, breaking bread, learning from one another, and there are many accounts of Christian fellowship between the two peoples after many natives accepted Christ as their Lord.  This day is a day to celebrate so many things, not just the first day of sitting together as a "family" between friends and neighbors.

In 2020 we have an issue in our country whereas the entire nation seems divided as to how we should celebrate this monumental (often forgotten) holiday.  Governors in some states have mandated that no one should travel for a gathering, others have stated that up to six people can gather, and still others have made no restrictions or regulations whatsoever. As President Trump tweeted today "Happy Thanksgiving to EVERYONE, even the haters and the losers."  I couldn't agree more.  We should all engage in love, thanksgiving, forgiveness, thankfulness, and an open awareness that without God, without Christ, there would be no food to share, no place to share it, no world in which to love and congregate as family, friends or neighbors. We would be lost. Christ, as He always is, is the centerpiece of our Thanksgiving dinner today!

My family and I are agreeing to the mandate of under 6 people, and we're not even traveling. We thought we were going to my daughter's in Tulsa, but as it turns out she'll have too many people to fit around her big table, so we decided to stay home and invite a couple of our friends who we knew were going to be alone today. They'll meet for the first time today, and that's a good thing. We aren't haven't turkey, which is different, but we are having basil garlic chicken strips, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes with molasses and marshmallows, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, and pumpkin bread. It should be great...smells good. Oh, and rolls, I have to make sure I add rolls, you can't have a proper Thanksgiving dinner without them. 

Traditionally the dinner is served around 4:00 p.m. or so to give people time to play football, hang out, talk, etc., but in my family it was always served at noon to give families time to get to their 2nd family dinner if need be. We have a small gathering today, so it will be noon, and then a long 2-3 mile walk to get rid of some of those THANKFULLY wonderful calories.  God provided an amazing 62 degree day with little breeze, and plenty of sunshine!  He really is the best, and I won't ever change my mind about that.

BLESSINGS!!

Complex and Content

IF YOU INSIST on following me on any social media outlet. Please understand that I'm not going to take a lot of time explaining why it is that I CHOOSE not to date anyone. I choose not to date. It is my choice. I make these types of choices and I alone will change my own mind if and when I choose to. YOU will most likely NOT be the one to change my mind. I also choose whom that will be.  I made this decision on March 31, 1999, and I really don't foresee myself deciding to do something about it. I may, but it would take an act of God. An act of GOD, not man. God.  I am a very complex creature, 100% content with who I am, and just waiting on the rapture. Just waiting for my turn to fly away.  Waiting. Patiently (not so patiently) waiting. 

The Gifts God Gave Us.

 You know, having the courts literally order me to take a personality test in 1997 wasn't really a bad thing. It was actually the first time I realized, in an official capacity, that I had been gifted by God with the spiritual gift of Discernment. I think the courts called it "logic based intuition".  The Apostle Paul speaks about the gifts of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12:10 when he said:  "He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit."  Well, it's not JUST being able to tell the difference between whether or not a message is being given by the Holy Spirit or an evil being, it is also being able to read body language, eye movement, handwriting, and other sure signs of a very physical nature to determine if someone is lying, telling the truth, needs a hug, is keeping a secret, and/or just unsettled. Teachers do this sort of discerning all the time - - it's innate. We (teachers) hone in our our students and their movements so we can better help them in their journey. At least, I'll say this, the good teachers do this.

God gives gifts to everyone but not everyone pays attention to what they have, and not everyone has been given the same gifts (obviously). One gift God did NOT give me was the gift of being subtle or tactful; it's just not really there, nor do I think I can really fake it til I make it on that one. I am who I am, I am a bit forward at times, always direct, and most of the time I'm blunt. At least no one has to wonder if I'm mad or upset with them because they will know immediately. I can hold it together in terms of exploding expression, but I will be vocal and they will have their ears filled with what usually equates to a Southern woman's fast-talking rant with about 10 football analogies to explain exactly how it is that I'm about to take control of the entire situation and cram that last biscuit down someone's throat using a hot cattle prod if I have to. There are times when I'm less animated, but those times are few and far between when my feathers get in a twist. 

DISCERNMENT can take the shape of being able to tell you what your weird nonsense dream was about; it can look a hell of a lot like me asking you incredibly personal questions out of the blue without any warning and that's because discernment hits me as hard as my questions may hit you! I don't get a warning when something is revealed to me. I don't have a bell or whistle go off alerting me to be on the look out for signs and clues - - NOPE, it just is what it is, and I see it, I know it, I feel it, I'm made aware of it, and I discern it. I'm rarely ever wrong, and I should probably try to find a way to hold my heart and tongue back a minute to go over what it is that I just realized. It could mean the difference between me making sense and me seeming to be less invasive; most of time it really seems that I'm just being invasive. I can accept this because I would also give a side-eye to someone I don't know asking me personal questions based on a 5 second video they saw on Instagram or Facebook. (Based on a true story folks, that just happened today, and I realized I needed to explain myself.)  It's hard to explain how it is that you KNOW something about someone - - it really really is difficult to know myself. I just have to trust that God is leading me in the direction I tend to go when I realize someone may need help.  I make myself available when He asks me to do it. I don't make the decision on my own, not usually. I tend to wait on His instruction. It just works out better for me when I do. It's that whole "lean not unto your own understanding" thing.

I don't play guitar. I can't play guitar. I've picked them up, messed around with them, and even begged my fingers to pay attention to my brain, but I don't play guitar. I can't draw to save my life, and the only reason I got out of pottery class is because I had my 8 year daughter throw all of my required 6-10" pots for me.  She has talents. I have Discernment. I knew what she was going to do before she did it, at least there's that! I really was a pretty good parent when it came to LOGICALLY being INTUITIVE about my kids and their behavior.  We all have talents, we all have gifts, we all have hidden things inside of us pushing us to be better and to do more for others. We just need to be able and ready to listen to both ourselves and others when they are actually reaching out to help - - if they are really trying to reach out and help that is. We do need to use wisdom and be careful not to trust just anyone who claims to be able to read your body language and know you may be unsettled at the moment. Judgement is a good gift to have as well. 

There, that's it. That's all I wanted to say. I'm off the soapbox and going back to the den to beat the crap out of my punching bag. I'm getting so much better at it - - I can almost say I know what I'm doing. Exercising is a chore, but one I look forward to with, well, with discernment! I know it is a good thing and I intend to make it a balanced part of my life. God bless!

Hidden

 Hidden  

 

Silent under Heaven’s murk 

Hearts in union pound  

Mindfully softened breaths 
Blend in muffled sound 

 

Shush old rippling creek bed 

Hold tight your liquid tongue 

Keep our secrets safe here 

Far from everyone 

 

Bedim your spirit kind moorland 

Never give out our names 

Hold our meetings locked up 

Our cravings hard, unchained 

 

Here, we find devotion 

Liberation without dread 

Here, we share our freedom 

Relief without the fret 

 

Chase my soul sweet lover 

Hold me ever close 

Assuage the mean forbidding 

Keeping us apart 

 

Kiss my lips with fervor 

As dawn wanes and ebbs 

Take my love as promised 

Damn verboten webs 

    Jude Stringfellow 11/16/2020

 

You Keep Your Word - - Or You Don't

 Don't get me started on vows. I made them. I didn't always keep them, and that bothers me.  The one I didn't keep was the one about loving him forever, and the reason I couldn't keep that one was that I didn't love him to begin with.  I was still in love with Reuben's father, and because actual love never fails, I suppose to a degree I am still able to say I love Richard. I can honestly say I do not love my former husband - - and that is a mark on my character, not his.  He was as he still is, who he is. I take full blame for what I forced into reality (I should have walked away when the red flags, bells, whistles, and sirens were blaring, but I didn't. I live with that.) I will say this: God is great. He alone turned something so terrifically tragic into something beautiful in that my two daughters are in fact healthy, wonderful, and for the most part they've overcome the many harsh and often horrific memories I personally caused them because I did not wait on the Lord to bring me the right man. That will NOT happen again, I assure you.

Taking this blog to another level, leaving my story behind, moving forward to another all too familiar story that I see happening all over the country, and in fact, all over the world.   Roles are not set in stone, and there is no reason a man can't be the caregiver of the house while the woman works if this is the agreement and if this is what they both decide upon before they marry.  Remember, you really should pray about it, asking God to reveal the right person for you, and if you don't do that you end up making the biggest mistake of not only your life, but it could and would affect your children, parents, friends, family members, co-workers, community, church members, literally EVERYONE. You MUST wait on God to bring you the right partner for the peace of everything or you'll end up chasing the chaos sometimes for years.

Let's say you marry a musician and you know that man/woman (I'll say man since I'm a woman) is a musician when you married him. You know he makes his money, if he makes money, as a musician, not an engineer, not a physician, not a clerk at the hardware store, but as a bonafide real-life guitar playing, piano plucking musician - - and if he sings well hey, he may make a few more dollars than you ever expected as long as he can get gigs, play at festivals, churches, on stage, or if he decides to he can go to a club or restaurant and earn his keep. What truly offends me as a potential partner, as a community leader, as a woman, as a decent human being, is when I see people who married a musician, artist, painter, sculptor, writer, author, singer, or some other type of artistic performer (who KNEW that they married a creative soul) expect said person to "pull their weight" financially when it is impossible to do so.  Oh, you'll hear them say "You need to just get a real job" or worse, they tell them that their art and their craft is nothing more than a hobby - - it doesn't put "food on the table" or "pay the bills".  With EVERY FIBER IN MY BODY, I want to scream at that wretched fool who KNEW they married a performer and say "YOU KNEW THIS...YOU KNEW THIS!"  How can you expect a tiger to become a lion? How can you expect a bending willow to become an oak?  It doesn't work that way.

Now, if the musician, artist, sculptor, painter, whatever has other skills and can swing a job while being the creative soul they are - - great. If they are unable to do so, and it would crush their existence to give up their pen, guitar, clay, or colors to work a 9-5 ... LET THEM PAINT! Be the breadwinner, be the one who is grounded so they can fly, be the one to make harder decisions about what can or can't be paid for. Don't make them feel guilty for being who they are by telling them that you can't make ends meet because they CHOOSE to be "lazy" and "play" or worse again, that they don't matter or can't be the man or woman they need to be. GOD MADE THEM as surely as He made YOU.  If it sounds as if I am really trying to get through to someone then it's because I'm truly trying to get through to someone. I do know who needs to hear this. I hope she understands that this is the path SHE wanted, the path she promised to uphold. You either mean it, or you don't mean it. There was that line in those vows that said "for richer or poorer" and it didn't mean for a month or two.  Covid sucks. Lockdowns suck. We get that, but you made a promise. You either keep it or you don't.

I've decided to stay single. I've not been intimate with a man in over 20 years. I'm not regretting this decision, it was in fact my decision. I've been true to myself in that matter - - if it changes it will be because God Himself literally drops one in my lap and writes in purple letters on some random wall "HEY JUDE, YOU'RE WELCOME, THIS ONE IS YOURS!"  I don't foresee that happening, but if He does decide to do that I pray God has the grace and insight to bring me a musician because I've learned to make ends meet on my own, and would have no trouble or worries providing for someone whose joy it is and whose gifts it is to bring beauty into this world; and into my own life as my forever partner. He would not have to work if he couldn't hold down a "steady" job. He could write, dream, sing, play, share and be an ambassador of love to those unable to make it to concerts, shows, etc. Who in the hell ever said that earning money is the gauge by which we measure worth, success, or contribution? Fools. I could never contribute the way a songsmith contributes to the world. I pen my poems, but they are rarely shared. God in His mercy has kept the musicians and the artists with us. We are honored. We should start living like it. 

That being said, partners do have real responsibilities to each other, and vows are given by both. Honor, trust, grace, faithfulness, peace, joy, patience, kindness, caring, and above all - - love must remain between the two. That is my soapbox for now. It was something that's been bothering me for years and it recently reared its ugly head again when I was made aware of it happening to a friend of mine - - I just wish I could have been born in another part of the world at another time for another reason. God knows - - God will provide. I am asked to pray, so I do. I pray but I also imagine. Dreamers dream.  We each have our own path to walk with God - - I can honestly say it is well with my soul. If I didn't keep my promise to love my husband it is because I never loved him, God has always loved me and has never forsaken me. I can't forsake Him now, and I won't.  He gives and He takes away. I hope He gives to me again. I think I would do a better job this time. 

His Mouth

He doesn't know it
But I love his mouth
Hidden in his whiskers.

He doesn't realize the joy
or calculate the power
When I hear him whisper.

Could he press my soul harder?
Even if he tried?
Could he hypnotize my spirit?

It's not his words, nor sounds
Not his song or verse.

His lips, my kryptonite. 

- Jude Stringfellow 11/1/2020