See this? Do ya? Do you have any idea what is it like to try and raise perfect children when you yourself can't claim even an inch's worth of perfection? All the expectations go out the window after week one when the baby springs a leak you can't manage and then the other one who isn't more than 14 months old decides she wants to be like her baby sister and throw off her diaper to get poop all over my freshly cleaned carpet. Of course, I don't even notice Laura has done this until I step in the poo while carrying the leaking screamer who somehow managed to drink 3 gallons of water and it was now coming out of every opening in her tiny wet body! Sisters!
Well, it's a good thing they finally got big enough for me to kick them both out of the house! You heard me, I'm kicking them both out, and I'm taking over (reclaiming) their room, the hall bath, and my LAUNDRY ROOM which will only have my laundry in it from this day forward. No more hair-pulling fights between these two over whose panties the green ones are, because EVERYONE KNOWS the green ones are Laura's and it's a fight that goes on week after week that I no longer have to listen to or be a referee for. NOPE, they're gone! But where are they going?
Since Laura and Caity both decided to go against their mother and enroll themselves into Oklahoma STATE University, rather than the University of Oklahoma, they could find themselves homeless. I gave them options: They could live with Reuben in Iraq because they could both sign up to join the Army, they could find roommates and do what ever other college bound kid does, they could co-habit in run-down slummy rooms with 11 loafers refusing to pay rent or utilities, or they could go to the University of Oklahoma and live with me rent free as long as they attended classes and did their homework. They chose to option D which was for me to pay for their apartment right outside the back steps of my own place....How did I not see that happening? The girls were home schooled their last 2 years due to their schedules with Faith and speaking engagements that literally took them around the world. Sometimes they would travel together and sometimes they would travel separately, but they were always in each others faces about it -- and hugging as much as they were fighting.
Laura is on my bank account because Laura won't take a penny from me without asking. Caity is NOT on my accounts because before I earn a dime she has spent it. If she KNEW how much money I have I would not be able to keep the lights on because she would have withdrawn it for food, clothes, beer, whatever she wanted, and that's why her big sissy Laura was called upon to do the unthinkable one day - - without and I say it again, without my permission. Caity talked Laura into putting down a deposit on the apartment right outside my house and to tell the landlord that it was approved by me. If you know anything about Laura you'd know she couldn't pull that off if she was slapped straight first. She can't lie. Caity had to do the deed. Laura was the one called upon to write the check. She had to at least do that much.
I came home from work like I always do, I was minding my business again, like I always do, and they were moving things out of the apartment - - little ants marching in and out of the back door, but their cars were parked out front, why were they walking out the back door with their things? It didn't take me long to figure it out. They were moving in next to me...in an apartment I knew not one of them could purposely afford. I gave Laura "the look"....she avoided my eyes, she avoided my hand too when it came back around to swat her! "CAITY MADE ME" was the the last thing she got away with before I broke down laughing at her. (The landlord had called me to be sure it would be OK, but the girls didn't know that).
GONE!! GONE they are...or soon will be. Nasty brats they are! I bet you 10 to 1 they come by for dinner tonight and every other night for the next year.
No comments:
Post a Comment