Crimson or Orange? What's best for the Season? LOL LOL LOL

Oh, I make myself laugh sometimes. I do it just because it releases the nervous tension. The nervous tension I had BEFORE the game started that is - - the OU/OSU game that is...Bedlam. There is only ONE other game we Sooners really get all tensed up and scared about and since we barely came out of Texas with our pride stomped on with a 14-13 loss to the Texas Longhorns, the Oklahoma State Cowboys was the last of the nerve-ending games. No worries...we got this one.

EIGHT years is it now? EIGHT years in a row I think we've beat the Cowboys, but I'd have to look that up, I lost count and wouldn't want to be overstating it if it's only 6 or 7. I know last year it was a mere 61-41 win. We only beat the Pokes by 20. THIS YEAR - - well, we shut them up, I mean, we shut them out....27 to what? Oh yes, to ZERO...zippo....nata! I should try to rein that in a bit before I get my tongue chopped off by a few of my really good friends wearing wilted colors up in Stillwater tonight. Sorry guys, we may not have beat Texas Tech like you did, but we beat the snot out of you today - - even with the 1 hour first quarter where the referees weren't sure which side of I-40 they were closer to. OH, and before you say a damn thing about DeMarco Murray's fly-in leap to the make the first touchdown, I want it on record that I said it wasn't a touchdown! I wanted it reviewed, I wanted it replayed, because I can't stand all the whining about it later on...but since we beat you by 27 - - no worries.

Thanksgiving is OVER....Christmas is coming....no brainer on the title question. Should we be wearing Orange? NO. No way - - CRIMSON baby! Another full 365 days of bragging our faces off to any and every Oklahoma State University alumni, current student, faculty, or just someone silly enough to show up wearing something with Pistol Pete on it. I think it would have been hilarious if the Norman police had arrested the mascot for shooting off his guns in the city limits! That would have been so funny - - and probably been worth the ticket price! Oh wait, the SCORE was more than worth the ticket price!! 27-0...say what? YES, 27 points Oklahoma, ZERO for Oklahoma State. Or as Jeannie's daughter Julie put it "Shut out means SHUT UP!"

Wow, I really should stop before I upset the others living in my house. We have a house divided you see; something I swore wouldn't happen. When the girls enrolled in Oklahoma State University in 2007 I kicked them out. They lived ON THEIR OWN. We don't do the house divided thing. Sooners live in this place....there's a sign on the door just in case you weren't sure. SOONERS LIVE IN THIS HOUSE! The sign should read "Don't even think about ringing the door bell if the game is on" but I don't have that sign. I have the one that says "SOONERS LIVE IN THIS HOUSE!" but I guess now I can add "WINNERS LIVE IN THIS HOUSE"....what do you think? No? Oh, you're only saying that because you either wear orange, or you aren't from the .... the SOONER STATE...wow, did you see that, it's not the COWBOY state, it's Oklahoma, the SOONER State..yes. LOL couldn't resist.

My daughters dropped out of school in 2008, but they'll go back in 2010 and they'll be Cowboys again...I don't know why. Oklahoma has a far better medical program. I suppose they won't be going into medicine. It's the only thing I can think of. Laura will get her B.A. in Business Management, and Caity in Business Finance. They'll be rich and I'll say thank you for letting me off the hook that much earlier! BUT...and I mean this, I hope they don't try to get football scholarships because they can't play very well. Wait a minute, they don't have to play well to get one at Oklahoma State do they? Sorry, my bad.

LOVE YOU guys up that way - - you know, up NORTH, in that....place. Good luck next year. There's always next year. Looking forward to it!! You'll recognize me, I'll be wearing CRIMSON with 90,000 of my closest friends. I call dibs for first in line at Starbucks!!!

Soon To Be Carless!!

I have a great new friend online named Mike Doyle. He's the author and/or writer of the blog "Chicago Carless" www.chicagocarless.com and he is fantastic and funny -- not to mention he actually lives the way I can't wait to live! WITHOUT A CAR!

I love the fact that I can drive, don't get me wrong. Now, if everyone else in the auto-owner world would also take a minute to learn the rules and laws from behind the wheel we'd all be THAT much better off right? Last year my best friend STEVE (a 2005 Focus) was completely smashed, destroyed, and murdered when a 74-year old woman without insurance decided to pull out into oncoming traffic - - by oncoming I mean ME. I was driving, I was the oncoming traffic. I was in the right, she was in the wrong and the fact that her eyes had been dilated the day before is the ONLY reason I used the word MURDER. It may have been negligent carslaughter, OK, but it was death to the STEVEster and that meant I was walking....until my adorable Dad saved me and gave me his car to drive. (There's another related story about Steve being fixed and then I lost him again, but we won't go there, it's boring and makes me cry when I think about it). Thank you Dad for your loving and kind gesture. I promise just as soon as I put the car in my name - - wait, I'll just give to Caity and she can do that. Good plan.

Losing STEVE made me realize that I am far too dependent on the car. Living in Oklahoma City one is 100% dependent on a car. Living just about anywhere except a larger city like Chicago or New York makes one completely too dependent on cars because most cities don't have the set up to handle those of us who would use the alternative if it were made available. I'm not moving to Chicago JUST for the theatres, jazz, great shopping, and free outdoor concerts - - well, the good food is a pull, but there is another reason...I will be CARLESS IN CHICAGO. (Remember, this Carless in Chicago is NOT to be confused with Mike Doyle's blog Chicago Carless www.chicagocarless.com - - follow Mike) LOL

When I'm carless I won't: Pay for gas, pay for insurance, have a car payment, buy a new bumper, get my tires changed, have a blow out on the highway forcing me to call the Highway patrol in 100 degree dry heat and wait 2 hours for it to be fixed. I won't run out of gas because the fuel sensor lied. I won't experience the waiting at the stoplights - - I WILL WALK THROUGH THEM. I won't forget to pay for my tag and get a ticket. I won't speed. Wait, I don't speed now. I won't be passed up for not speeding. I won't have to worry about my neighbors kid keying my car. I won't have to keep my car inside to avoid weather. I won't have to pay for parking. I won't have to look for a spot to park and go shopping. I won't have exhaust smells in my house from the car warming up. I won't have anyone smoking in my car. I won't worry about who sits in front - - there won't be a front!

In my new life, in my new condo, in my new city - - soon - - I will walk where I can. If I can't walk I'll take the bus. If I can't do that I'll take a taxi, and if I really really have to have it, can't do without it - - I will use a ZipCar (www.zipcar.com) and I will NEVER pay for gas or insurance again! $10 an hour and really - - that's all I'll need it for. Groceries can be delivered in Chicago, and I can literally walk to the Mag-Mile from my backdoor - EVEN when it's 5 degrees outside. I probably won't, but I could, and having that knowledge of I COULD, makes me happy.

There just aren't words to describe the loss I felt when I lost my little STEVE. We had been together from coast to coast to coast and back to the other side, top and bottom of our great country. We had been together 3 years and 85,000 miles...that's a lot of miles for 3 years people....I loved that little car. (Rumor has it that STEVE opted as a hotel now and then for the kids when they drove him too. He was that versatile....that beloved....and he is missed. There will simply never be another STEVE. R.I.P. my friend)

YEP, looking forward to being in the big city soon - - Jan/Feb maybe. No more payments, gasoline, insurance, traffic...oh I'm repeating myself. I'm sorry. It's just so....so...amazing. sigh.

What a Girl Wants!

THIS IS FUNNY!!

For weeks I have been telling my friends and my family that on my birthday (today) I'm going to go to the Old Time Soda Shop in Ardmore, OK and have a burger and fries and a big bowl of ice cream, maybe a shake, and just really let the world know I'm relaxing this one day out of the year. No diet on November 22, 2009 - - NOPE, not going to happen right? So, here's the funny part.

When Laura dressed up a bit old fashioned from the 50's and took me to the shop which is downtown we didn't see any cars outside! We thought "OH NO, it's not open on Sunday!" That was true, the shop wasn't normally open on Sundays, but that wasn't the problem. NO...Benji the owner was tearing out the walls today with his work crew Mark and Juan! They were taking down every wall, re-opening great side windows to let in the Eastern light, and they were painting, staining, changing carpet, changing electrical and mechanical things - - not only was it NOT open, it was being torn down inside the joint. Which of course meant that the graffiti on the walls was being torn down, which meant the "shout out" from Faith was being torn down too!

See, all I really wanted, if truth be known, was a big bowl of their freshly churned Blue Bell Dutch Chocolate ice cream! I didn't care that much about the burger or fries, and secretly wanted to keep to the diet a bit - but I wanted my kids to think I was throwing care to the wind. OH WELL -- whatcha gonna do? Well, here's what I did -- I told the guys fixing up the place that it was my birthday, and I fully intended to scoot over their mess and enjoy my ice cream! (LAUGHING)

They agreed! Mark went straight to the back and brought out a big big bucket of Dutch Chocolate and he and Benjamin (Benji's son) fought the hardened ice cream for a good few minutes until they were able to knock out, chip out (without getting the drill) a full bowl of the good stuff. They didn't even charge me -- why? No register was open, and as Mark pointed out - - HE DOESN'T WORK THERE anyway!! Hahahaha...how fun is that? This would ONLY happen to me, and it would only happen in Oklahoma where we just don't care about simple protocol. Benji, the owner, was out running around in Mark's truck getting supplies -- so Mark just went into the kitchen of Benji's place and made due! THANKS GUYS....and Benji too, he loved the story when he came back.

Mark, Juan and Benjamin wanted to know more about Faith since I pointed outs he had been there and I left her "shout out" on the back wall. They've decided to take a picture of it and put the picture in a frame on the new walls! YEA! I went home after taking Laura to work, and I brought the real Faith back to the store so Benjamin could get his picture taken and brag in school tomorrow about having met the world's most photograpahed dog in person! They were great, and what a way to get what you want on your birthday!

100 POUND Puppy! King Leonidas

Our baby mutt has grown up and in less than 1 entire year he has managed to grow to the evenly round score of well -- 5 score! He's 100 POUNDS now. I would have thought, given his giant breed mixes, that he would have reached that weight and more by the time he was six or seven months, but alas, he's a smaller more petite St. Bernard/Dane/Husky mix. Must be the Husky that kept him in his minute tiny frame. (It was fun watching Caity lift him so he could be weighed)

When Caity and I went to the Noah's Ark Animal Shelter adoptathon in February 2009, I was a board member of the shelter -- that means one thing: I was almost required to adopt a puppy. I knew it was a duty really, but then again, adopting dogs has never really been a foreign idea to me or anyone else in my family. With Caity Baby, adopting another dog was almost as easily as breathing in her next breath...she just does it, and we expect it. My question was "Why did she have to pick the biggest puppy in the place?" He was absolutely huge but he was also absolutely undeniably adorable! Those big sad blue puppy eyes - blue! We were goners.

So, King Leonidas got his name easily enough - - being named for the actor Gerard Butler who played the King in the movie "300". Remember the eyes? He's pretty too, and our King was pretty, and big, and hairy - - just like Butler. At just under 8 weeks King was a floppy 16 pounds and as he lived in our house, eating all we could give him, he grew. It wasn't too long after his fourth month that we discovered he had specific allergies that caused his hair to fall out all over his body - - for a St. Bernard that could be rather embarrassing. It was determined that poor Mr. King could no longer consume human food - - he had to stay away from all wheat and/or grains completely until we narrowed it down. ENTER Precise Pet food. Oh, I love Liz Levine-Morken of Precise! She found King (and the others) the best food for his terrible case of the hairlessness backside. He's all healed up now, and really, he doesn't realize he's missing out on too much - - he can have cheese now, so he's good.

For a hundred pound dog you'd think he's be a bit more aggressive, and I shouldn't say this because all the bad-guys out there may try to get past his ferocious roar to come into our yard or home - - KING is a wussie-dog! Seriously, if the bad guys came in he'd greet them kindly and probably show them his lately chew-toy (my new shoe) and he'd take them on a tour of the house where they'd no doubt meet up with the real guard dog - YUKI, the Chihuahua mix; now that dog will tear your leg off one bite at a time! (I can just hear King saying "Oh c'mon Yuki, they're nice, let's just forgive them and play!") Nope, not a guard dog - - not a fighter yet. I'd say he's more like the lap dog you wish your 10 pound dog was, or the 2nd best farter in the house behind Laura. King couldn't be scary and tough if you paid someone to train him. If Caesar was to whisper to King he'd find out that King probably likes High School Musical, soft jazz and key lime pie....I mean, it's not a bad thing, but it was just so completely unexpected. You hear the words Gentle Giant and you now have a new face to put with those words - - King's big woolly bully face. I love the way his jowls slap around and make that flapping noise...he just looks at me when I do that.

At 11 months and a few days, Mr. King (or Kingston, Kingness, Kingly, Hey-Dog, and/or Big Dog)hasn't even learned to hike his leg yet to pee. We think it's because Yuki (11 pounds) told him he couldn't. We're pretty sure that's it, and he doesn't mind. He just obeys...just obeys...and looks at you with those pretty blue eyes. We're still goners for this guy. He's got us all exactly where he wants us, which for King is the OTHER side of the bed because he's taking up one half for sure. Oh, and he's not picky either, he'll kick any of us out of our beds without prejudice - - any one of us.

Happy Birthday To Me! (November 22)

Mariel Hemingway, my Facebook friend, was born on the EXACT day that I was - - here's the proof that God decided one of us should be gorgeous! Hahahha...I love you Mariel, you won that one! At least I have "cute" going on. Some say I got that from my mom, but you should see her father. He was the cutest of the bunch. Old, nearly hairless, big honking nose,ears that stuck straight out and I think his mouth was a bit large too - - and those BEAUTIFUL dentures sparkled! He was adorable.

Being born just three days after my Pop, the day before Thanksgiving, to a set of parents that already had 3 other kids under the age of 3 and 1/2, one may think that I was a bit spoiled. I would have to agree with you on that one. I am 100%, no make that 200% spoiled; just ask my sisters - - Andie was mistreated because she was the oldest, Linda was mistreated because she was the middle kid (and she was mean as hell) and Mike and I were spoiled!! Mike was the only boy you see, and I am - - and will forever be - - the BABY!!! Even at 48, I'm the BABY!! I love my title.

So, what will I do this Sunday to celebrate my 48th birthday on this Earth? Probably hang out with the two most gorgeous young ladies in the world and have ice cream somewhere. My baby boy is still in the Army, but he'll be home soon. A couple of years ago he surprised me on my birthday and came home a little early for R&R - - I was so thrilled!!! In 2006 I was kissed on my 45th birthday by none other than Jesse L. Martin - - and THAT is one heck of a way to celebrate one's birthday ladies. He is so handsome, and he smells - - SO - - good. This year, Ardmore, Oklahoma has me clasped in her hands. I think the girls and I will walk the streets of Downtown, go to the Old Fashioned Soda Shop and just have ourselves a shake. Maybe I'll write my name on the graffiti wall and just be someone special for the day.

My birthday, so close to Thanksgiving, has always been a day for reflection and for thinking about what all God has done for me - - and that could, if I wanted it to, take all day just thinking about that. I suppose for 2009 I can honestly say that I am so very thankful for so many things not the least of which was getting out of Texas when I saw the light - - but I returned too. I went to Strawn and Gordon to hang out with the "Ladies" and Andy Martin of C.A.R.E. and we filmed a little segment for a T.V. show. I've been recorded many times this year on T.V., radio, and podcasting for Faith's message, and that's amazing. I met Norma Palen and Cheryl Maguire of Cher Marketing, they'll be taking Faith's message even further. I met Anthony Tortoriello in 2008, but this year we've gotten so much closer and he's now the official photographer for Faith. I couldn't have made the website without Randall Goya! Man - it has been an enormously fantastic year. Oh, and I have to wave and say hi to CINDY PAPALE .... I met Cindy online too.

The one thing I believe I'll call my birthday present this year is the great proposal that Seattle based author Rudy Yuly and I have come up with called "Faith Walks". A 51-page book proposal now in the hands of the best NYC publishers and editors that Ken Atchity (my agent) could find. Perhaps for my real birthday they'll call Ken and tell him it's a "Go". That will be cause to celebrate....and change my life completely for the much much better. However, kissing Jesse L. Martin was fairly close to perfect! LOL

So, Happy Birthday to me....I love it. I'm exactly where I should be, and Jesus is more than invited to celebrate Sunday with me at the soda shop. I wonder what He would order if He was there in person/God. I bet it's chocolate, WE ALL KNOW He created it because He loved it up in Heaven, c'mon....it's CHOCOLATE. Me too God, me too. Thanks for 48 years.

Dropping Those Brats Like Hot Potatoes! LOL

See this? Do ya? Do you have any idea what is it like to try and raise perfect children when you yourself can't claim even an inch's worth of perfection? All the expectations go out the window after week one when the baby springs a leak you can't manage and then the other one who isn't more than 14 months old decides she wants to be like her baby sister and throw off her diaper to get poop all over my freshly cleaned carpet. Of course, I don't even notice Laura has done this until I step in the poo while carrying the leaking screamer who somehow managed to drink 3 gallons of water and it was now coming out of every opening in her tiny wet body! Sisters!

Well, it's a good thing they finally got big enough for me to kick them both out of the house! You heard me, I'm kicking them both out, and I'm taking over (reclaiming) their room, the hall bath, and my LAUNDRY ROOM which will only have my laundry in it from this day forward. No more hair-pulling fights between these two over whose panties the green ones are, because EVERYONE KNOWS the green ones are Laura's and it's a fight that goes on week after week that I no longer have to listen to or be a referee for. NOPE, they're gone!  But where are they going?

Since Laura and Caity both decided to go against their mother and enroll themselves into Oklahoma STATE University, rather than the University of Oklahoma, they could find themselves homeless. I gave them options: They could live with Reuben in Iraq because they could both sign up to join the Army, they could find roommates and do what ever other college bound kid does, they could co-habit in run-down slummy rooms with 11 loafers refusing to pay rent or utilities, or they could go to the University of Oklahoma and live with me rent free as long as they attended classes and did their homework. They chose to option D which was for me to pay for their apartment right outside the back steps of my own place....How did I not see that happening? The girls were home schooled their last 2 years due to their schedules with Faith and speaking engagements that literally took them around the world. Sometimes they would travel together and sometimes they would travel separately, but they were always in each others faces about it -- and hugging as much as they were fighting. 

Laura is on my bank account because Laura won't take a penny from me without asking. Caity is NOT on my accounts because before I earn a dime she has spent it. If she KNEW how much money I have I would not be able to keep the lights on because she would have withdrawn it for food, clothes, beer, whatever she wanted, and that's why her big sissy Laura was called upon to do the unthinkable one day - - without and I say it again, without my permission.  Caity talked Laura into putting down a deposit on the apartment right outside my house and to tell the landlord that it was approved by me. If you know anything about Laura you'd know she couldn't pull that off if she was slapped straight first. She can't lie. Caity had to do the deed. Laura was the one called upon to write the check. She had to at least do that much. 

I came home from work like I always do, I was minding my business again, like I always do, and they were moving things out of the apartment - - little ants marching in and out of the back door, but their cars were parked out front, why were they walking out the back door with their things? It didn't take me long to figure it out. They were moving in next to me...in an apartment I knew not one of them could purposely afford.  I gave Laura "the look"....she avoided my eyes, she avoided my hand too when it came back around to swat her!  "CAITY MADE ME" was the the last thing she got away with before I broke down laughing at her.  (The landlord had called me to be sure  it would be OK, but the girls didn't know that).

GONE!! GONE they are...or soon will be. Nasty brats they are!  I bet you 10 to 1 they come by for dinner tonight and every other night for the next year.

What I Won't Miss

Crying Like a Baby - - Or More Like a Silly Woman

I woke up a few days ago to the site of black rice under my kitchen sink. That can only mean one thing -- I have mice in my house. So, because I don't have a cat, and I don't have a snake, I couldn't expect to catch it and have it be used as a natural source of food. I set out trying to find a way to catch the thing and put it back out into the open field from where it came. The city I live in obviously hasn't had many women like me - - women who don't want to kill the mouse, but want to let it continue living it's little grey furry life outside where he/she truly belongs. I say that, I say they belong outside, they may feel they have the right to live with me in a warm house with ample food supplies and great pools of water (dog bowls). I began searching the stores for live-traps but didn't have any luck. I got a few stares, I got a few laughs even, but I didn't find any live traps....so I waited. 

 When you have one mouse running around the chances of there being two or three are pretty good. Waiting isn't the best solution. I'm not afraid of them, meaning when they run from the frig to the stove I don't scream. I usually talk to them and say "C'mon I don't want to have to kill you, can't you just go outside?" They don't speak English, these mice. They don't ever speak English - - they don't get it. What they do get is into my dog food, into my apples, into my candy - - and of course when one of them actually ate through my Dove's chocolate bar wrapper stealing my precious chocolate - - my decision was made a bit more clear. He/she had to die.

 The choices are terrible! (A) glue boards will certainly do the trick, but they die of starvation and they scream out in fear when they get caught. (B) the wooden/spring traps are scary to work and take two or three tries every time and usually the mouse can outsmart me - - not usually, always...but at least they die quickly. The problem with that is I do not want to take a 1/2 mouse out to the garbage can and try to pick up the other half without looking at it because I'm crying and I can't see straight. (C) poison is out of the question! I say out of the question -- I have dogs. I can't have poison standing around. Even the little black D-Con "house" things are scary because my dogs like to chew things. Wow...no good choices. Finally after talking to the mice, and not being listened to; after realizing their sex lives are far more aggressive than my own and knowing NO mouse wears a condom, I decided that waiting even a week would prove to be a family affair. I got the glue boards. At least with the glue boards I KNOW I'm going to catch mice -- and spiders, and scorpions, and moths, and anything else silly enough to go under the appliances. I KNOW they work - - they're cheap, and the BEST part is I talked my daughter Caity into tracking them and throwing them out when necessary. Not IF necessary, these things work every time. 

 It happened. Just a few minutes after I sat them in place one of the curious furious came creeping out and didn't like what he/she saw and darted - - not making it across the board before being caught. Wham! FAST! and then I cried. CRIED, and CRIED, and CRIED. I knew I would. I ran to Caity's room and begged her to kill it fast. She did. She used a little bleach on a q-tip and it drank its last. WHY do I have to have such a soft heart? WHY do I have to care so much? It's a MOUSE and it's nasty right? NO, it's not nasty - - they just become nasty if they stay inside. I understand the food chain - - I do. I understand the reason these guys multiply so fast is to keep up their end of that chain too - - owls, snakes, other rodents eat them. They're quite popular lingering down at the lower end of the chain - - but I do wish they'd stop lingering in my house. I can't take much of this. God bless the Caitys of this world - - and the Laura's too - - I think she may actually speak MOUSE; not sure. One down, many more tears to go. (sighs)