Thursday, May 8, 2008

Prunes v. Dried Plums

The FDA has decided to call prunes by another name. What's that they say "A rose by any other name still smells the same?" OK. I love prunes, and I guess I love plums too, so I don't mind if the FDA decides to call prunes by their more suitable, more marketable name of "dried plums". I suppose when you get down to it, they are actually dried plums - just like raisins are dried grapes. Can I expect to see that change, or is it still OK to say you like to eat a handful of raisins without people asking if your bowels are OK.

Prunes have a stigma. Go ahead and think it - go ahead and say it out loud if you have to, prunes are what they are - natures way of saying "GO!" For some people prunes are a life saver, and for people like me, who have been stealing prunes from old people for years - prunes are like candy, only you don't have to worry about the weight gaining or the faux high from fake sugars. I am...a prune addict.

I decided to boost the fiber intake again, this time I bought the hard stuff. I'm drinking straight prune juice in the morning and adding my aloe vera juice to it. Eight ounces of prune juice can spell trouble for some people - please, and I mean this, PLEASE don't drink prune juice just because I told you that it works for me, or that I like it - I had a blogger-fan write to me today and just freaked me out to no end. She wrote that she reads my blog every day, can't wait for the next one, that she learns so much, and she's doing everything that I do so she can lose weight and have a happier family life! OH MY GOSH...and since I know you're out there stalking me, and reading me, please, let me say this - DON'T do anything just because someone else does it. (LOL - OK, it's my Mom, but I wasn't going to let on for a while. She's got four kids, but you know, there' just something about the baby!)

Drinking prune juice may sound like I've given up and gotten old, but to be honest with you - it makes me look younger, go to the bathroom when I'm suppose to, it keeps the wrinkles away longer, and I love the fact that NO ONE else will steal it from me. I'll have the entire jug to myself. I could fill the damn thing full of grain alcohol if I wanted to and my teenage kids wouldn't touch it because the bottle says prune juice! Have you ever thought about how you could keep your kids out of your stuff? Put it in the prune juice bottle! NO ONE touches it. EVERYONE shuns from it, and they just set it to the back of the frig so none of their friends have to even know that the butter, or the ripe olives they pop into their mouths have come close enough to mom's prune juice to be forever ruined.

Here's a question that just begs to be asked: Why are they digging through my refrigerator? Don't they have their own? Do they not live away from me? Is it too much to ask that my children stay out of my stuff? is too much to ask, and I have no business even imagining that I could have such freedom, such peace, such me-time or me-stuff....silly Mom! At least I have my prune juice fantasy - until one or the other of them gets on the internet and finds out the antioxidant benefits, the weight loss benefits, and/or the fact that they get 3 grams of fiber with it - then I'm toast.

Speaking of toast - I found a new loaf of bread by Nature's Own. Double Fiber! 5 grams of fiber per slice! Not per serving of 2 slices my friends, that would be 10. I love it. The thing is, our grandmothers used to make their own bread with whole wheat and the flax and the wheatmeal was in it already. They had double and triple fiber bread coming out of their ovens back in the day. Come to think of it, Granny had a big fat black-purple plum tree in the back yard. I ate dozens of them over the weekends when I visited. It was her prunes I'd steal too. She lived to be 99 - but her secret was that she was privileged enough to live with Grandpa for 69 of those years...he was such a cutie. I miss my old man.

Well, there you go - eat more plums when they're fat, and more prunes when they're all dried up. Go and go and go....and then thank me.

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