I have my own three kids to worry about - - I don't really need (or want) to have to deal with the drama from others who decide to pull me into their lives either intentionally because they don't have parents who care or inadvertantly because they don't have parents who care. I will say this, the ones that have parents who care and simply don't use those parents get the QUICK version of my advice...usually it goes something like this "HEY, you have parents that care about you, grow up and go ask them to help you!" The longer, more detailed advice I find myself giving can be both borish and rude at times. I'm not the best backup plan out there. I tend to treat other people's kids the same why I treat my own, and that is to point out immediately that their drama-filled agony is getting on my last nerve and if they persist in forcing me into the mix I'm going to take over and it may not be pretty!
I sound like I'm ranting, but that's because I don't do blah-blah. I don't have compassion or empathy of any kind for kids who get all "Emo" and pout over their little make-believe would-be problems - - not when they can usually get over themselves and find a more productive way to spend their time. I don't do depression and I actually don't think most depression is real; that being said I do recognize that there is a real and seemingly increasingly growing problem with kids thinking they are depressed and acting as if they are depressed, which in turn manifests itself into reality through self-fulfilled and often self-induced crisis. I know, I sound all mean and nasty for not coddling the kids, but I don't. I never have and I won't allow myself to be coddled or patronized when I get sad or filled with negative feelings. I guess I was just raised to believe that if it's not a chemical off balance of the body and it's not physiologically founded - - you can get over it. EAT CHOCOLATE....work, get up and do something. For Gosh sakes - - EXERCISE, clean the house, or my favorite for students who just wouldn't stop pouting - - write a 5 page essay single-spaced without errors on what's making you so damn depressed! They were cured pretty fast; believe me.
OK OK OK, maybe there are some real situations out there - - but here's why I'm ranting. A kid called my daughter today, he got a hold of me. He called her from Pennsylvania saying he'd just taken twenty (20) 25mm of Benadryl and he wanted to know what was going to happen to him now. REALLY? Is this guy serious? Oh, I don't know kid, you're probably going to die! Call the poice NOW! That's what I wanted to say, but instead I went into Mother-mode and began the interview that no one should have to go into over the phone with a double-stranger. A double-stranger is someone you absolutely don't know, and they aren't someone you're ever going to meet unless something like this happens.
He was calling from a cell phone. I know this because I looked it up on Reverse Phone Look Up at www.whitepages.com while he was talking to me. I also Googled the effects and what he could expect so I could have something to tell him. I was trying to find out his physical location so I could send the police and maybe an ambulance to him. I didn't get that far. After telling him that he could experience dry-mouth, fixed dilated pupils, central nervous system shut-down, convulsions, and death, the kid hung up on me. I hope he was smart enough to use that time he had left to call for help. NOPE, he just wanted to call a few more of his friends. I know this because he got ONLINE (don't they always do that?) and had his little trip - ONLINE so that he could be the talk of the little social community he's involved in.
My daughter was able to call him back, and get his physical address from him. While she continued talking to him, showing him the attention I believe he wanted from her in the first place, I called the Malvern, PA police and filed a 9-1-1 emergency over the phone. I hope they find him and I hope they can get him some help. I have a few questions: Will the police find his parents in the livingroom when they get there? They probably will - - and you know what, they're not really to blame. This kid is 18, he's using his own room, his own computer, his own phone - - probably not even telling his parents the sites he goes to, and possibly even chiding them for asking if they do ask....another question I have is this: WHY is it important for everyone to YouTube their lives? I don't understand. I don't want to have that sort of access to someone's life and in this case his possible death.
Do me a favor - - if you have kids - - PISS THEM OFF and ask them who they talk to, who they hang with, what they talk about, what they do, where they go, what they think, and if they seem pouting, withdrawn or "depressed" get them up and working or exercising, do it with them if you have to. I don't ever want to have to worry about someone else's kid like that again. I just took 2 girls to the Academic Higher Education Center to take their G.E.D. because their parents didn't make sure they stayed in school and at 17 they read and write like 5th graders. Getting into college this fall will be hard, but it is necessary. High School is not the place for kids these days; not if the teachers are expected to be parents.
If you think this is ranting - - you're mistaken. This was the nicer version of Jude sounding off on people who don't parent their kids. Did I screw up - - yes I did! Over and over again, but the good news is my kids aren't going to be calling YOUR kids telling them they've overdosed and if they needed to read or write about it, they could. Sure one of mine has 8 tattoos and another has 6 (I think) but the last time I checked they were volunteering at the animal shelter, taking flyers around town warning people about a con-man in the area, and doing community service without being arrested - - Oh, and Laura took a couple of puppies back to a lady who was 8 months pregnant and couldn't get out to do it herself.
PLEASE...piss off your kids as much as you can!! Find out what they are doing!!